Happy Birthday To The “L”: CTA system is 120 years old

(ChicagoMag)–EXCERPT FROM FIRST EVER ARTICLE ABOUT THE “L” IN 1892–And then the coaches. New York has never seen such gay ones as those put in service yesterday. They have an outside color of pale olive green, and inside they are finished in oak and cherry in natural colors. The seats are roomy and comfortable, with cushions, the ones at either end, running lengthways of the car, being divided by arm rests in cherry. Eight double seats are in the center of the car, the same as in an ordinary railroad coach. These have high backs, and between each there is a small mirror set in the side of the car between the windows. The windows are wide, and at present have the added novelty of opening easily. The doors are novelties in their way. They are of the double sliding pattern and when one is pushed back both open. The platforms are roomy and are provided with gates which are opened by the gateman when the cars come to a stop and closed and locked before the strain starts again. The ceilings of the coaches are decorated in a variety of ways. Some are of hardwoods, while others are covered with a coarse canvas fastened with large brass-headed tacks and colored dark blue, brown, and red. There are straps of the same pattern furnished by Mr. Yerkes. Everything about the line denotes solidity, and at the same time an attempt to make the equipment and the stations as handsome and convenient as possible. All the station houses so far completed are built underneath the track, though this will be impossible where the road runs in streets as it will south of Thirty-ninth street. They are of brick and terra cotta with all the woodwork in oak. One ticket seller and one collector will transact the ticket business for both north and south bound trains. The passengers coming in, pass the windows of the ticket office, then the ticket box where the tickets are dropped, and then go through a passage way to the stairs. At the head of the first landing the stairs divide, the one for the down town trains being on the east and the one for the south bound trains on the west side. The stations have a wainscoting of enameled brick to a height of six feet and are plastered above. The stairways have a graceful iron covering which extends above both platforms. A platform-man is stationed on each platform to keep the crowds moving aright and there is a janitor in service at each station. Toilet-rooms have been provided for men and women at each of the stations, except the one at Congress street, which is located in a building facing Congress and Wabash avenue.

 

Yep…happy birthday. This video kind of sums of the modern “L”.  Not a place in the city with a better chance of running into a complete lunatic.

PS: Keep antagonizing that crazy German-Australian chick who is 5’2″ and solid muscle, but I don’t want to hear you crying when you’re murdered.  It’s why I never make eye contact with anyone on the L.  Not worth the risk.

 

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“Dream Team” Trailer is FAN-tastic

 

The NBA has been running commercials for this documentary all throughout the playoffs and I seriously can’t wait.  Watching The Dream Team in 1992 is the first time I can remember watching the Olympics.  The raw footage of those practices is sports porn.  I also can’t wait to hear the dirt about how the team didn’t want Isiah Thomas on the team.  It was the greatest team ever assembled…and Christian Laettner.  I wonder if he knew during those practices that he was never going to be a great player in the NBA.  They probably just took turns embarrassing him.  Getting off topic here though…basically this trailer gave me goosebumps.

 

PS: I know I have asked a lot of the Celtics already, but in the close out game tonight I would really appreciate it if they could somehow knock Lebron and Wade out.  Just murder them so they can’t play on the USA Olympic Basketball team this summer.  I am going to really struggle to root for a team with those two guys on it.  So Celtics…one more favor…sweep the legs.

 

PPS: Miami delenda est

 

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Ultra-High Definition Video of the Transit of Venus. YAY SCIENCE!!!

 

I guess this Transit of Venus thing happens once every thousand years or something.  Gotta love science.  Pretty sick video.  This is why NASA needs to be around.  #Penny4NASA is important.  I mean what would we do without NASA making YouTube videos like this?  How would we kill time throughout the day?  There are only so many original videos out there on the internet.  I’d probably be stuck watching more dumb skits like JeterMatch.com if it wasn’t for NASA.  PREACH NdT!!!

 

PS: Miami delenda est

 

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Maybe the best song parody ever: “I will be your girlfriend”

 

A++++++++++ This girl just nailed it.  It’s funny because it’s true.  Girls are nuts. If I was in a position to hire people I wouldn’t stop until this girl was writing smut blogs and making videos for Windy Citizen Sports. My only concern is that this seems a little too natural.  Like she probably just pulled all of those insane references from life experience.  You can’t fake crazy like that.  It’s in her eyes.

 

 

PS: Miami delenda est

 

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Miss Pennsylvania quits Miss Universe Pageant. Claims it’s rigged

(Newser)–Donald Trump says he’s going to sue Miss Pennsylvania, after she resigned in a huff from the Miss USA pageant and the Miss Universe Organization. “I can no longer be affiliated in any way with an organization I consider to be fraudulent, lacking in morals, inconsistent, and in many ways trashy,” Sheena Monnin wrote on Facebook, according to the New York Daily News. She says another contestant “saw a list of the Top 5 BEFORE THE SHOW EVER STARTED.” But the Miss Universe Organization says Monnin resigned for another reason: Because she opposed its decision to allow transgendered competitors. A spokeswoman revealed an email allegedly written by Monnin in which she complains that the pageant has betrayed its “foundational principles” by allowing “natural born males” to enter. “She changed her story,” the spokeswoman says. Monnin has since deleted her Facebook post, but it was up long enough to draw a lawsuit. “When she’s using the word ‘fraud,’ that’s pretty strong,” he said on the Today Show. He also added that in his opinion Monnin “didn’t have a chance of being in the top 15, not even close.”

Jeez Miss PA, talk about sour grapes.  If you had any dignity at all you would have quit before the competition if it was rigged.  You lost to Miss Rhode Island fair and square toots.  Miss RI was prettier, smarter, and more talented.  That’s why you lost.  Also, I think this little outburst shows a lot about your character.  You wouldn’t see Miss Rhode Island throwing a temper tantrum after the fact.  She has poise.  And poise counts.

PS: In all honesty I think Miss PA might be a publicity genius.  She loses and yet she is grabbing all of the attention and all of the headlines.  Nobody even knows Miss Rhode Island won because of this.  Having said that…she is an idiot. The Donald is probably the last person on Earth you want to tangle with.  The guy is stubborn as hell and will spend whatever takes to win and protect his assets.  I mean the guy is currently fighting the entire country of Scotland right now.  Miss PA is road kill.

PPS: Miami delenda est

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Score one for the human race. Tom Brady and Gisele are having another baby

(Newser)–Brace yourself: Another depressingly good-looking human is on its way. Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady are expecting once again, according to Us Weekly. Bundchen is three months into the pregnancy, an insider tells the magazine, which helpfully notes that there isn’t much of a baby bump thus far. The couple already has a 2-year-old, Benjamin; Brady has a 4-year-old son, Jack, from a previous relationship. “They are really happy!” the source says. As for the rest of us: Let’s hope the “superbaby” doesn’t “destroy us all,”

If I have said it once I have said it 1000 times…the more kids running around this planet with Tom Brady’s DNA the better it is for all of us.  The pinnacle of the species has an obligation to pass along their traits.  I feel a lot better about the future of human civilization today.  The sky is the limit for this kid.  President? Astronaut? Patriots QB? Superstar soccer player? Blogger? Who knows? The kid can’t be stopped.  I can’t wait to see how the stock market responds to this news.  It’s gotta be worth like 300 points on DOW.  This is the kind of news that can turn the economy.  God bless the Bradys.

PS: I am kind of surprised Brady and Gisele don’t have like 20 kids by now.  There isn’t a contraceptive on earth that can stop Tom Brady.

PPS: Miami delenda est

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Roger Federer yells at fans to shut up at French Open

 

Jeez Roger, overreact much?

This is one of my biggest pet peeves about tennis and golf…why do people have to be completely quiet in order for athletes to function in that sport.  You know what is a hell of a lot harder to do than hit a bouncing tennis ball…basically anything else in sports.  Same thing for hitting a stationary golf ball.  I am sure baseball players would love complete silence as they are trying to his a baseball coming at them 100mph, but it’s not in the cards.  So Roger, you need to relax bro.  Be mentally tough enough to block out a guy yelling from 100 yards away.  If you wanted to play sports in front of a dead silent crowd then you should have played basketball for the Miami Heat.

 

PS: Miami delenda est

 

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Group aims to have permanent settlement on Mars by 2023

(Yahoo)–It sounds like a science-fiction fantasy, but the company Mars Onesays it’s for real—and that it will really establish a settlement on the planet Mars by 2023. The privately financed Dutch company has a plan. All it needs is a lot of cash, equipment and four Mars-bound astronauts who are willing to take a one-way trip to the red planet. The idea is to first send rovers, which will stake out a good site for a settlement and then build out living units. In 2022, the crew will take a “transit habitat” for the seven-month trip to Mars and settle in to their new home. The intention is that the crew will live on the planet for the rest of their lives. Every two years after that, another group will join the settlement to populate the colony. Mars One co-founder Bas Lansdorp has a very modern approach to funding the project: media exposure. “We will finance this mission by creating the biggest media event ever around it.” He said in a company video, adding, “Everybody in the world can see everything that will happen in the preparations and on Mars.” Think of it as a “Big Brother” for outer space. Lansdorp explained to Yahoo! News, “This would be ‘real’ reality TV — adventure is automatically included, we don’t have to add fake challenges.” He added, “By sending a new crew every two years, Mars will have a real, growing settlement of humans — who would not like to follow that major event in human history?” Who, indeed? The other-worldly idea has certainly intrigued the Web. The Mars One video has received over 232,000 views on YouTube since it launched less than a week ago.

 

Pretty ambitious effort.  I think this is exactly what Neil deGrasse Tyson was talking about, but honestly this is the dumbest thing I have ever seen.  Who in their right minds would agree to live on Mars for the rest of their lives?  I mean just look at that proposed colony…that thing effing sucks.  Talk about tight quarters.  I don’t even think I could stand up in one of those things.  You’ve got to have absolutely nothing going on Earth if you are willing to live out your days in a Martian trailer park.  No thanks.  I feel like these guys who want to colonize Mars are like the Vikings of explorers.  Just sailing across the North Atlantic and setting up shanty ass mud huts in Greenland.  The early settlers just froze their asses off in a uninhabitable wasteland until they died off or said “eff this noise, I am headed back to Sweden“.  Then a few hundred years later Christopher Columbus lands in a Caribbean tropical paradise.  So hey nut bags, congrats on being the first people with an outer space colony, but I think I will hold out for the Bahamas of planets.

 

PS: The video says they want to make a “Big Brother” style show out of this space colony…how amazing will that be?  I have never seen Big Brother, but from what I understand they just have a bunch of people that they film 24/7 like the Real World.  Wackos who want to live on Mars locked in a trailer park in the middle of nowhere…that’s going to have major drams.  That’ll for sure lead to the first ever live TV murder.  It’ll be like “Lord of The Flies” meets the “Real World” meets “Star Wars”.  DVR already set.

PPS: Miami delenda est

 

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So you wanna be a fire dancer, eh toots?

 

It’s all fun and games until your face gets incinerated.  Gotta leave this stuff to the professionals.  Never would have happened if she was cutting cake or wrapping presents.  Way to ruin the whole party hun.

 

 

PS: Miami delenda est and I kinda want this to happen to Lebron

PPS: All of the descriptions for this video are in Russian or some weird language so I can’t understand what is being said, but I am going to go ahead and assume this chick walked away unscathed.

 

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New Hampshire woman conned out of $25,000 by guy she met on Match.com

(New Hampshire)–She joined match.com in April and in less than a week was notified that someone who appeared to be a handsome man from Nashua had sent her a “wink.” His profile name was “honestman,” he e-mailed that “the key to a lasting relationship is complete trust,” and said he had a dog named Coco. In the month that followed, Leblanc said, she was romanced by “honestman,” who “said everything a woman wants to hear,” while he conned her out of $25,000. She said all of her savings is gone, her credit cards are maxed, and she’s behind on her bills by a couple of months. “I feel ashamed,” said Leblanc, who is telling her story “for my own healing,” as well as to warn others to heed warning signs while looking for love online. Leblanc said her sister and brother had success with online dating so she decided to follow suit after surviving cancer. She was smitten by honestman’s profile, which showed a clean-cut, 56-year-old man named Bennett Lawson, who had salt-and-pepper hair and a lucrative overseas construction business. He “seemed nice and wealthy,” Leblanc would later type into a federal Internet crime complaint form. “I’m a first-time user of online dating,” she also reported. “All seemed well.” The alleged eligible bachelor told Leblanc he was working one last job building roads in Egypt, then planned to retire. They e-mailed, they instant-messaged each other, and they spoke on the telephone. It was during one of those conversations in May when Lawson said he was in Italy signing a contract for the Egyptian construction work, had hired a lot of people and needed an iPhone 4 and an iPad, Leblanc said. While “sweet talking” her, he asked Leblanc if she’d be willing to ship the electronics to an agent in Africa, who would get them to him in Egypt, she said. Leblanc bought the devices and shipped them to Africa, as requested. Why? “Because he kept sweet-talking me,” she said. “He said he’d give me $50,000 when he got home.” Later, Lawson asked for $6,000 for a camera lens he said he needed and he e-mailed a link showing the exact lens he’d buy. When he got back to New Hampshire, the bachelor promised, he’d pay Leblanc double the amount of her loan, she said was the deal. So she wired the money and he was “very thankful,” Leblanc recalled. More romantic messages were exchanged, then came a request for $10,000 to buy dynamite for the Egyptian road work, said Leblanc, who agreed to wire $2,000. She later wired another $5,000, then $7,000 supposedly for laptops, and another $2,000 he said he needed to ship $5 million worth of gold he’d bought. All of the money, which eventually exceeded $25,000, was wired to Guyana, Leblanc said. After tapping her savings and credit, Leblanc borrowed from family. And when she told the online bachelor she didn’t have any more money to send, he replied that she must not want him to come home to her, she said.

 

First things first, I grew up in New Hampshire and this woman is as New Hampshire as it gets.  Dude haircut, no make-up, no style, and gross. So having said all of that…she kind of deserved to get conned.  She has to know that a sweet talking international businessman isn’t going to be interested in a 56 year-old librarian.  I mean she basically fell for the Nigerian Prince email scam.  “Hey baby, I am in Egypt…can you send me all of your money?  I have a lucrative international construction business, but I left my wallet at home.  If you send me $25k I’ll give you $50k the minute I come home to your pasty skin and Mike Piazza hair.  What’s that? You’re out of money? I guess you don’t love me enough.  We are through”. In this chick’s defense his profile seemed pretty legit.  I mean who would have the profile name “honestman” if he was really a con-artist?  It’s always the last person you expect.  Million to one odds, million to one.

 

 

PS: Miami delenda est

 

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