NFL Kickoff Lock Of The Century: Saints at Packers

Opening week games are a complete crap shoot and this year is worse because the lockout has everyone behind schedule.  I have no idea who is winning this game tonight.  What I do know is that this over/under line of 48.5 is a joke.  These are two of the best offenses in football and they might get to 50 points by halftime.  It almost seems like one of those lines that is too good to be true. Like it might just be a venus fly trap of bets and Vegas/Costa Rica are just trying to Jedi mind-trick the shit out of me.  I can’t stay away from this one though.  Betting with my balls on this one.

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Lock of the Century: MLB Edition

Betting on baseball is so easy its unbelievable.  No wonder Pete Rose couldn’t resist.  Its like somebody giving you cash for being able to read or something.  I killed it yesterday.  Cubs had lost 8 in a row.  Their losing streak had no end in sight, except I saw it from a mile away.  Cubs were big winners.  For kicks I gave the citizens the Brewers win and the over…win and win.  The day before I gave you the road dog Red Sox to win 2 of 3 games on the series bet…and that cashed in too.  Just picking winners like its my job, good thing it is. I picked the Miami Heat in my NBA Lock of the Century, and I am pretty much hoping I lose that one so I am making up for it with baseball.

Seattle Mariners +168 @ Detroit Tigers -188

This one isn’t exactly brain surgery.  Terrible Mariners team on the road taking on one of the most dominant pitchers in the game. Verlander will probably have double-digit strike outs and breeze to a win.  The line isn’t the most attractive, but a win is a win is a win.  Also, I have never heard of this Fister guy pitching for Seattle.  One of my gambling rules is that if I have never heard of you, it means that you suck. Tigers roll.

Oakland A’s even @ Chicago White Sox -110

Honestly, the only game I really love on the board is the Tigers game, but you can’t win if you don’t play and I am on fire right now.  Playing with house money.  Give me the White Sox at home with Buerhle pitching.  Seems like a solid pick.  Decent moneyline for the favorite at home.  Good enough for me.  I am just going to keep racking up wins.

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Lock of the Century: NBA Finals Game 4

Miami Heat +3 @ Dallas Mavericks -3

My heart says Dallas, but my head says Miami.  Lebron James had 17 points in Game 3 and Miami still won.  All of these Heat playoff series are playing out the exact same way.  Hard fought throughout the first 40 minutes, then Miami’s talent and team athleticism just takes over in crunch time.  Miami learned their lesson in Game 2 that they can’t take their foot off the gas.  Look for Lebron to bounce back tonight and lead the Heat to a victory.  I am also all about omens. I am in Chicago and it is going to be 98 degrees here today.  Ignore signs like this at your own peril.  I like Miami in against the spread, against the moneyline and I also like the over in total 3pt field goals made. The war against the Costa Rican economy continues. I want the same citizenship medal that Obama gave Bill Russell when this thing is all said and done.

Lock of the Century: Gold Cup Soccer Edition

Canada +700 @ USA -315 Draw +325

 

Over (+140)/Under (even) 2.5

So I am taking the fight right to the Costa Rican’s back yard on this one with my first ever Soccer Lock of the Century.  If there is one thing Costa Rica knows its soccer…at least I assume so.  Doesn’t scare me one bit.  I am turning up the heat in this fight. 

Canada sucks.  I didn’t even know they had a soccer team until today.  If I didn’t know about you, that means you aren’t any good.  The moneyline at -315 for USA isn’t all that attractive, but a win is a win is a win.  The over/under is where it gets a little tricky.  We have established that Canada sucks, but after watching part of the USA vs Spain game this weekend I am under the impression that America sucks too.  So will the ineptitude of both teams lead to defensive break downs and an onslaught of offense or will it be a race to the bottom essentially with a 1-0 win for the US?  I’ll go with the under and an American victory.  U-S-A, U-S-A!!!

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Jinxes, Curses, and Karma when Betting: Locks of the Century

I have nobody to blame but myself for Miami’s epic collapse last night.  I got cocky and via twitter basically proclaimed that nobody could stop me from winning.  I was staring a 5-1 maybe 6-0 record in the face mid-way through the 4th quarter.  The first rule of gambling is don’t taunt the gambling gods.  I had already nailed 3 of my 6 bets, and was looking like a prophet again.  Within in 5 minutes Dallas shooting, Lebron fade-away threes, and Eric Spoelstra coaching stole 3 wins from me.  That’s what I get.  Next time I’ll just gloat when the fat lady has sung.  Sorry America. 

Still went 3-3 for the game, not too shabby.  Live to fight another day.

Lock of the Century: NBA Finals Game 2 Prop Bets

Well well well…looks like all I had to do was call the sportsbooks out and they publish their prop bets for Game 2 of the NBA Finals.  Big mistake, huge.  I am going to just tear into them again.  I already have the Miami Heat on the moneyline and I also have them covering the 4.5 point spread. Prop bets are low hanging fruit.  There are two ways to stop Costa Rica sportsbooks; the Eric Holder way or my way.  My way gets you paid.

3-point prop bet trifecta

I love all three of these 3 point shots made lines.  This is just stealing.  Both teams will employ their small lineup, both teams love the three, and they crushed this line in Game 1.  The line for Miami’s made 3pointers is laughable.  Lebron James was 4 of 5 by himself in the last game.  Dallas is playing zone the majority of the time to try to take away dribble penetration.  Miami will be shooting more three pointers than normal.  Eight isn’t nearly enough for Dallas either.  Give me all three of these.

Dirk Nowitzki Total Assists+Rebounds over/under 10.5

Dallas had better pray Dirk doesn’t come under this line.  If he does he is probably sick or dead or severely injured.  Dirk is becoming a better passer and Dallas has got to be preaching to each other to get aggressive on the glass after Miami controlled rebounding in Game 1.  Dirk is the leader of the team, and as the power-forward will be counted on to get more rebounds.  I also think that Dirk’s finger injury probably helps with this line. If he is limited offensively he will look to get others involved and contribute in other ways.

So that’s 6 total sports gambling Locks of the Century for Game 2 of the NBA Finals.  Miami on the moneyline, Miami on the spread, total threes over 14, Mavs 3s over 8, Heat 3s over 5.5, and Dirk Nowitzki to be over 10.5 combined rebounds+assists.  That’s some easy money.  Enjoy the game…GET THAT PAPER.  STRAIGHT CASH HOMIE

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Lock of the Century: NBA Finals Game 2

Dallas +180 @ Miami -220

Dallas +4.5 @ Miami -4.5

Costa Rica is in shambles after I demolished them in Game 1. Going 4-0-1 in various bets.  They are so scared that they haven’t even posted prop bets for this one knowing full well that I will rob them blind again.  Game 2 will play out just like Game 1 did. Relatively close for 80% of the game, and then Miami’s talent will just take over in the 4th.  Miami will not only win, but they will also cover the spread.  Dallas just doesn’t have the horses to win a game on the road.

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My future First Lady of Costa Rica

Lock of the Century: Baseball Edition

Chicago White Sox +130 @Boston Red Sox -145

No way the White Sox keep this up, right?  They have won 6 in a row and two against the Red Sox in Fenway Park.  I always bet against streaks…except my own and I am on fire right now after going 4-0-1 last night in the Miami Heat vs Dallas Mavericks game.  White Sox are losing this game.  Sorry Chicago. Sox vs Sox series ends with a 2-1 Sox victory though.  Maybe they are getting on track.

New York Yankees +105 @ Oakland A’s -115

Not the most attractive line, but if there is a road dog on the board to take today its the Yankees.  Burnett is due for a good start and the Yankees lineup is still one of the best in baseball.  Too much for the pesky little A’s even though Gio Gonzalez has pretty nasty stuff.

Still picking winners on a daily basis.  I am on fire right now.  Burning up Costa Rica.  Sportsbooks all over the world are in trouble.

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So…I guess I am a prodigy

I am not going sit here and tell everyone that I am some kind of sports gambling genius…but that’s what I am.  Picking winners, beating the odds, and taking down Costa Rica is just a talent that I have inately.  I got a text from a friend asking me to explain to him how I pick winners.  I didn’t know what to say.  I feel like that’s saying to Rembrandt “teach me to paint like you”.

Yesterday I gave the people 5 “Locks of the Century” in the Miami Heat vs Dallas Mavericks, and in Game 1 of the NBA Finals I gave the people 5 winners(well 4-0-1, but still undefeated).  Is this what Tiger felt like in 2000? When do the women start throwing themselves at me?  Sportsbooks of Costa Rica…you’ve been warned.  I am coming for you all.

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Lock of the Century: NHL Finals Prop Bets

This is almost getting too easy.  I feel like I should have gone to the prop bets in my war against Costa Rica a long time ago.  Its like these guys have never seen a hockey game…which is probably true since they are from Costa Rica.  There are low hanging plantains and papayas all over the prop bets.

Burrows sucks.  I don’t know how else to put it.  The guy rides tugs at the skirts of the Sedin Sisters and get points almost by default.  Chara will be smashing them in the face all series long and I don’t see that line being a big factor.  Kesler will be skating against the Krejci line most likely which means Bergeron will have plenty of space to score.  Bergeron is without a doubt getting more points than Burrows.

I am really confused by this one as well.  Chara will most likely be parked in front of the net on the Bruins powerplay which will give him more opportunities to score than normal.  He is also good in the transition game and should pick up a few assists when he isn’t murdering the Sedins.

Ryder is good for a one big game a series, but he doesn’t get the minutes required for him to out score Bergeron for an entire series.  It also wouldn’t surprise me if Seguin takes a few shifts from Ryder as well.  Take Bergeron.

I am just dominating Costa Rica.  They will be done in no time.  Pretty soon this will all be mine…

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