CUBS WIN!!! LETS DANCE!!!

 

Look it Cardinals, I don’t want to sit here and say I told you so…

…but I totally did.  I know the Cubs suck, but they still get paid to play baseball.  You can’t just expect them to roll over in the 9th inning down only a run.  There is a new culture in the Cubs organization.  Once they get some new players to go with that new culture they will be a force.  The Cubs won a game yesterday, that’s two in a row.  If they win one today, that’s called a winning streak.  It HAS happened before.  So let’s see some hustle!!! GO CUBS GO!!!

 

 

 

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This Chick accusing Starlin Castro of sexual assault has a lot of balls

So according to this chick’s statement the “assault” happened after 3am in Starlin’s apartment. They had been boozing in River North and the chick claims she blacked out. Not passed out, just blacked out. If having drunken sex with a girl that is blacked out is a crime you know who else is guilty…EVERYONE. This chick is obvi just some jealous White Sox fan trying to mess up the Cubs Theo momentum. Castro is innocent and everyone knows. Newsflash honey…all-stars don’t need to sexually assault girls(except Roethelisberger and that’s just because he is the ugliest QB in the league).

FREE STARLIN

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Dumbass White Sox fan cries about getting Cubs gift

 

How old is this little girl? I am the worst at guessing kids ages. I am gonna say that she is under 8…which means that she gets to switch her favorite team and nobody can say anything.  Kids switch their allegiances all the time…which is part of the reason I hate kids.  Her mom just gave her a free pass to be a North-Side baseball fan and this chick passed on it like a moron.  I’ve got news for you sweetheart…the Cubs are gonna be awesome.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon…and for the rest of Theo Epstein’s life.  Meanwhile the White Sox are set up to suck for the better part of the next decade.  This city is gonna burn to the ground when Theo brings a World Series to Chicago and this girl can either party with the rest of us or sulk in her Alex Rios jersey.

 

“This NL Central shit is easy”–Theo Epstein

 

I think its pretty obvious that Epstein is reversing whatever curses exist here with the Cubs.  He is basically Ghost Busting the shit out of Wrigley Field.  Sign solid outfielder with super hot wife…check.  League MVP and rival Ryan Braun suspended for 50 games…check.  Albert Pujols out of Division and National League…double check.  Epstein is on FIRE this winter.  A couple more moves and a culture change…then get ready for a fun summer on the North Side.

 

 

 

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Epstein is doing A+ work so far

Signed this chick’s husband.  I think he’s an outfielder or something.  Epstein just keeping the stands hot at Wrigley.  Bang up job so far Theo.

Cubs fans won’t stop showing up Soriano

 

 

 

Alright, seriously Cub fans…let’s cut the shit.  I know the Cubs suck, you know the Cubs suck, the Cubs know the Cubs suck, hell even Mike Quade now knows that the Cubs suck.  You really don’t need to be throwing dirt in their face all the time by making crazy plays all-time. Just relax, have a beer, enjoy the summer weather, and stop making plays that Soriano can only dream of.  Its gotta hurt his confidence.  So, don’t make awesome plays in the stands because it will only hurt the ball club.

 

Gardenhoser!!! Cub Fan has stronger arm than Soriano

 

Funky butt-loving, that was a good throw.  Sign that kid up. Cubs are back baby.

 

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CUBS WIN!!!! If they win tomorrow, thats called a winning streak

 

All the Cubs needed to start winning was to stop playing American League powerhouses like the Kansas City Royals.  Suck it Rockies.

 

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Lock of the Century: MLB Edition

Betting on baseball is so easy its unbelievable.  No wonder Pete Rose couldn’t resist.  Its like somebody giving you cash for being able to read or something.  I killed it yesterday.  Cubs had lost 8 in a row.  Their losing streak had no end in sight, except I saw it from a mile away.  Cubs were big winners.  For kicks I gave the citizens the Brewers win and the over…win and win.  The day before I gave you the road dog Red Sox to win 2 of 3 games on the series bet…and that cashed in too.  Just picking winners like its my job, good thing it is. I picked the Miami Heat in my NBA Lock of the Century, and I am pretty much hoping I lose that one so I am making up for it with baseball.

Seattle Mariners +168 @ Detroit Tigers -188

This one isn’t exactly brain surgery.  Terrible Mariners team on the road taking on one of the most dominant pitchers in the game. Verlander will probably have double-digit strike outs and breeze to a win.  The line isn’t the most attractive, but a win is a win is a win.  Also, I have never heard of this Fister guy pitching for Seattle.  One of my gambling rules is that if I have never heard of you, it means that you suck. Tigers roll.

Oakland A’s even @ Chicago White Sox -110

Honestly, the only game I really love on the board is the Tigers game, but you can’t win if you don’t play and I am on fire right now.  Playing with house money.  Give me the White Sox at home with Buerhle pitching.  Seems like a solid pick.  Decent moneyline for the favorite at home.  Good enough for me.  I am just going to keep racking up wins.

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Zambrano is Crazy…like a Fox

Everybody is all up in arms over Carlos Zambrano calling out his teammates after they blew his win the other night.  Zambrano is completely off his rocker, but even a blind crazed squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.  Everything Zambrano said was 100% true.  I like the fire.  The Cubs suck. I know it, you know, Zambrano knows it, everyone knows it…so what’s the big deal?  Zambrano either just bought himself a ticket out of town and his 17 million a year will be on someone else’s books, or he fired up his teammates.  Maybe Carlos’s craziness has permeated my skull, but is Zambrano the veteran leader of this team?  Did he say something that needed to be said?  Would there be this kind of outrage if Dempster said something?  People need to chill.  Cub fans and the media are looking for a scapegoat and crazy Big Z fits the bill, but the guy has been lights out since his anger management therapy.  The guy might be the veteran leader the Cubs have been looking for.

 

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