“I think Hester will have a bigger year than me”–Brandon Marshall

(Chicago Tribune)–“I’ve never been around a receiver, never seen a receiver who runs routes like Devin Hester does outside,” Marshall told “The Waddle & Silvy Show” on WMVP-AM 1000 on Monday. “Listen to me … He has all the skills to be a great, a Pro Bowl receiver. Not a punt returner — we all know what he can do there — but a Pro Bowl receiver. “Honestly, I think he’s going to have a bigger year than me this year. I just don’t think he’s been in an environment, a situation offensively that catered to him as a player. I think with (new quarterbacks coach) Jeremy Bates and Jay growing and maturing, I think they’ll be able to put him in a better position this year to where he can probably do damage. I’m excited about everyone else, but the person I’m more excited to see is Devin.”

Hey Brandon, it’s cool to try to pump your teammate’s tires here…but the Bears didn’t trade two draft picks for you to come in and be worse than Devin Hester.  That’s not the idea bro.  You know who the Bears need to be a Pro Bowl receiver…YOU! Jay Cutler’s BFF, 100+ catches a year, redzone target, all that shit.  That is supposed to be you.  You’re not supposed to be a decoy for Hester.  I know Marshall is a little mental, but like is he really setting the bar this low for himself?  Could he be doing it on purpose? How about a little confidence man.  This town wouldn’t know what a number one receiver looked like if one took a dump on our heads.  Be a diva.  Tell us you’re the greatest of all time and that you and Jay are going to break records and shit.  That’s what this town is thirsty for.  Not a guy that is blown away by Hester’s ability to run routes on the outside.  Clean it up Brandon.  You’re supposed to be the new Marshall in town.  Have higher aspirations than being second fiddle to a number 3 WR.

 

 

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A quick look at the Bears 2012 schedule

 

Let the Phil Emery era begin.

Sunday September 9th: Home vs Colts

Playing the Bears defense on the road is a rough way for Andrew Luck to start his NFL career.  Colts in a big time rebuild mode.  This one feels like blow out city. Bears 34 Colts 13

Thursday September 13th: Away vs Packers

Tough to play the Packers on the road, especially on a short week.  I think these two teams are the class of the NFC North because the Bears will be much improved and hopefully healthier than last year. Tight game, but a loss. Bears 24 Packers 30

Sunday September 23rd: Home vs Rams

Rams will probably be better than they were last year, but they still suck. Bears will be plenty rested, well prepared, and playing at home.  Not a good recipe for the Rams. Bears 27 Rams 17

Monday October 1st: Away vs Cowboys

Second primetime game of five for the Bears.  Two of the most storied franchises in football, both of whom have been disappointments as of late.  I think the Cowboys will be much improved this season.  I think this one is a toss-up, but I will take Big D at home. Bears 23 Cowboys 27

Sunday October 7th: Away vs Jaguars

Much like the Rams…the Jags suck.  Back to back road games, especially on a shortened week, is never easy but the Bears have too much talent to get tripped up by the lowly Jaguars.  Bears 37 Jags 20

Sunday October 14th: BYE

Good spot to have a bye week.  Towards the middle of the season coming off two road games.

Monday October 22nd: Home vs Lions

Huge divisional game for the Bears.  The Lions will be better than last season as they get healthy at running back and improve their secondary.  This will be a battle, but I think the Bears pull this one out because Soldier Field will be electric for Monday Night Football. Bears 31 Lions 28

Sunday October 28th: Home vs Panthers

Panthers could be a contender in the NFC South this year with the Saints in turmoil and Cam Newton emerging as a superstar quarterback.  They just don’t have enough to beat the Bears at Soldier Field in a must win game. Shootout, but a Bears win. Bears 38 Panthers 34

Sunday November 4th: Away vs Titans

I don’t think the Titans know who they want to be as a team and I don’t think Jake Locker is ready for primetime.  The Titans are proud, but don’t have the horses to stick with the Bears. Bears 28 Titans 20

Sunday November 11th: Home vs Texans

Texans are a team on the rise.  They should be on cruise control at this point in the AFC South and will be playing for a first round bye in the playoffs.  Great defense and a complete offense when healthy.  Too much talent and better coaches for Houston.  Bears aren’t quite on the Texans level.  Bears 20 Texans 28

Monday November 19th: Away vs 49ers

The 49ers were a couple of fumbled punts away from the Superbowl last year.  They return basically everyone, but they are greatly improved at wide receiver. Adding Randy Moss and Mario Manningham.  Who knows if Alex Smith can get the ball to those guys, but their presense should open things up for Gore and Davis. Trouble for the Bears.  Bears 17 49ers 27

Sunday November 25th: Home vs Vikings

Vikings are in serious trouble this year.  Still unresolved issues at QB and Adrian Peterson is coming off a torn ACL.  This one should be over by half time.  Bears 38 Vikings 14

Sunday December 2nd: Home vs Seahawks

I think this is the year Pete Carroll’s seat starts to get warm.  If Matt Flynn is more Matt Cassell than Matt Shaub Seattle could be in big trouble.  This is a team the Bears should handle with relative ease. Bears 31 Seahawks 13

Sunday December 9th: Away vs Vikings

A little odd that the Bears are playing the Vikings for the 2nd time in three weeks.  Should be a familiar nightmare for the Vikings.  Bears too much for the rebuilding Vikings. Bears 30 Vikings 21

Sunday December 16th: Home vs Packers

The NFC North crown could be on the line against the Packers at Soldier Field, and as a fan that’s all you can ask for.  Even though the NFL is a passing league now, when the weather turns colder you need to be able to run for hard yards.  Bears have the advantage in that area.  Bears 24 Packers 21

Sunday December 23rd: Away vs Cardinals

Cardinals are another team in a state of flux.  They don’t have a ton of offensive talent outside of Larry Fitzgerald and their QBs seem to be made of glass.  My guess is that they are on their 3rd QB of the year at this point and are dreaming of Matt Barkley in the draft.  Blow out city. Bears 35 Cardinals 10

Sunday December 30th: Away vs Lions

The Lions season will most likely be on the line in this game.  Ford Field will be rocking.  I think the Bears should have a playoff spot locked up at this point, so maybe they don’t match the Lions desperation.  Bears 21 Lions 28

 

Final Record: 11-5.  I think that’s about right give or take a game or two.  The Lions, Packers, and Cowboy games will decide their fate.  If they can come out of those 5 contests 3-2 or better they should be back in the playoffs.

PS: Obviously a somewhat futile and pointless exercise 5 months before preseason really gets going, but it’s always fun to look ahead.

 

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Little girl Bears fan throws a fit

I am going to give this little girl the same advice I gave to the White Sox girl last week…GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN.  You are little.  You are still allowed to switch teams.  Between the ages 4 and 6 I probably changed my favorite football team like 8 times before the Patriots drafted Drew Bledsoe and I was then a Pats fan for life.  Point is…this girl can put on that Rodgers jersey now, and leave it on forever.  Or…she can return it for that Hester jersey and live a miserable life talking about how great the Bears were in 1985.  I am  a Pats fan, but I have a soft spot for the Bears, I really do want them to do well.  The NFL is just better when the Bears are good.  The fact of the matter is that the Chicago Bears are a joke of an organization and aren’t going to be a serious Superbowl contender any time soon.  Everything that transpired this week proves it.

Jerry Angelo deserved to be fired, but the Bears have put themselves in an awkward situation by retaining Lovie Smith.  I think Lovie is a fine coach, but the organization really can’t move forward unless they relieved Smith as well.  Whoever the new GM is will eventually want to hire is own coach.  So Lovie is on borrowed time.  He really needs everything to come together next season and make the playoffs in order to save his job.  Yet, even still he decided to fire Offensive Coordinator Mike Martz.  I believe that Lovie and Martz had “a real difference in philosophy” and that Martz is an ego-maniac dickhead of epic proportions, but didn’t Lovie know that when he hired him?  Martz’s reputation as a pass-happy arrogant asshole is widely known.  If he had such a difference in philosophy Lovie never should have brought him on to his staff in the first place.  Now the Bears have put Cutler and the rest of the offense in a position where they need learn their third offensive system since 2009.  And…furthermore, who can the Bears get as an offensive coordinator if the coaching staff’s future is murky at best?  If things go poorly in 2012 the Bears could be learning their 4th offensive system in 2013.  At that point the Bears’ already aging defense will be over the hill. Peanut Tillman will be 32, Briggs and Peppers 33, and future Hall of Famer Brian Urlacher will be 35. The defense will need a major overhaul at that point, and thanks to Angelo’s draft record the Bears don’t exactly have a bunch of young studs ready to take on bigger roles.

This organization has essentially wasted a decade when they had two great linebackers, one of the best overall defenses perennially, and arguably the best Special Teams Units in the NFL by failing to compliment them with even a decent offense.  Now, even with great talent in place at quarterback and running back(for now) the offense is in flux.  By the time they get it going, Chicago fans might be saying “man, if we only had a defense…”.

PS: Torturing your own kids looks so fun.

PPS: That little girl seems like a peach huh? Remind me never to have kids.

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Tim Tebow Mic’d up…guy is a little religious

 

Just the most positive guy ever.  The Patriots are like a billion times better than the Broncos and I am still scared out of my effing mind.  Tebow’s god is an awesome god…obvi.

 

 

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Tebow vs Bears Recap

 

Tebow sucks.  He throws an ugly ball. He’s just a running back.  He didn’t win the game, the bears lost it. If Barber doesn’t run out of bounds and/or doesn’t fumble…wah wah wah.  Look it Bears fans, time for some real talk here…Tebow won that game.  He did.  Time to just acknowledge it and move on.  Yeah…Barber made two terrible plays that cost the team the game, but it wasn’t his fault.  Tebow jesus-mind fucked the shit out of Barber.  If you believe anything else then you are blind.  Tebow and God are BFFs.  Its obvious.  There is no way in hell the Broncos win that game if Cutler or Forte play…so God fucked them up a little.  Paving the way for Tebow. There is no other explanation.  So wake the hell up.  December 21st, 2012 is a year a way.  I for one am not going to sit down here on Earth like a goddamn moron saying how much God’s best friend sucks at throwing when the rapture comes.  So in conclusion, Tebow is great and sure seems like a nice fellow.  Bears could learn a lot about faith from that game.  Thanks for the opportunity of playing in God’s presence.  Good luck the rest of the season.  Amen.

PS: Hey Tebow…please shake hands with Jay Cutler after the game and pat Forte on the knee.

 

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This Kid Hates Tom Brady

 

This kid hates Tom Brady and its fantastic.  I love being a fan of the evil empire.  You think Jay Cutler is good enough to make kids that are fans of other teams cry…for sure NOT.  There is a real divide in my family.  I have a brother who is ten years younger than me so he really grew up in Illinois…sadly he loves the Bears.  I mean in his formative years the Pats were just beating the shit out of everyone and everything in their path.  His older, cooler, hilarious brother loves the Pats, and yet my brother chose a life of disappointment and misery by being a Bears fan.  Sad.  I am largely on an island as a Pats fan here in Chicago, but at least I am not drowning in a sea of tears like fans of the other 31 teams.

PS: This is the 500th post on this blog.  No better way to celebrate than with a post about the Greatest Quarterback of All Time.

 

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Bears vs Lions Recap

Lions swagged into Soldier field like this…

Then this happened…

And the Lions left Soldier Field like this…

PS: If you punt to Devin Hester there’s a 200% chance you are a dumbass.

PPS: The Bears might be wayyyyy better than I thought.

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Some degenerate gambler smacks Devin Hester at Casino

 

(Chicago Tribune)–The man who was arrested at Rivers Casino in Des Plaines after police said he slapped Chicago Bears receiver/returner Devin Hester in the back of the head has apologized. Hester was in a cash transaction line at around 10:40 p.m. Friday when Daniel Rago, 52, approached him, slapped him in the back of the head and walked away, Des Plaines Police Chief Jim Prandini said. Hester notified the casino’s security team and Rago, a Mount Prospect resident, was escorted to a holding area and later arrested by Des Plaines police.Rago told Fox Chicago that he was unaware it was Hester, is a huge Bears fan and knows he was wrong to touch another person. Rago said he thought Hester was trying to cut ahead of elderly people in line. “We were all waiting in line,” Rago said in a Fox Chicago interview. “We were all happy, we won a little bit of money and all of a sudden the gentleman in front of me walked over two tellers to the left. And I said, ‘Excuse me, these two elderly people were in front of you.’ And that person replied, ‘They waved me up.’ And I’m like, ‘No, the next person in line should have went to the left.’ “No response after that so I went over to the left of him and as a father would reprimand a kid — not saying he’s a kid but a young man — and I just gave him a biff on the back of the head, is what I did. And I was wrong for doing that. Nothing justifies another person hitting or touching another person. It’s wrong on my part.” Asked Wednesday at Halas Hall about Rago’s description of the details of the incident, Hester said it was inaccurate but declined to offer any comments about it.
Rago, who is due in court Dec. 1, said he didn’t realize it was Hester until he was released from the holding area and saw Hester’s name on the police complaint. “I said, ‘Oh my gosh, that was Devin Hester,'” said Rago, who attended the Bears’ game Sunday night against the Minnesota Vikings in which Hester scored two touchdowns. “Now I can’t even enjoy a game anymore because of the bad choice I made.” Rago apologized to Hester during the Fox TV interview and offered to donate to a charity in Hester’s honor. “Devin, if you’re listening and if you can see me here, I am so, so sorry,” Rago said. “I made a mistake. I’m the bad guy here, and I apologize. I’m going to ask you right now, I will donate $500 to the charity of your choice and 20 hours of community service on your behalf. I messed up.”

 

Get a load of this asshole.  So here is basically what happened…Devin Hester was just enjoying a quiet night out at the Casino and was just crushing every table he stepped to.  At the end of the night he went to cash out his huge pile of cash and this jealous, righteous, self-appointed police of the line smacked Devin Hester in the back of the head for going ahead of a sweet old couple that told him it was ok.  Now this guy has the audacity to try and make himself out to be the victim.  Oh boo hoo, I can’t even enjoy the Bears game now because of the guilt I feel, wah wah wah.  Seriously, shut up bro. If you were a real fan you would have realized it was Hester to begin with…you know, the greatest special teams player who ever lived.

 

PS:  Great self restraint by Devin Hester here.  If that guy had hit someone like say…Jay Cutler, he probably would have sued for getting spit on.
PPS: This guy is such a pussy.  I have never seen a more bitch apology in my life.

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Finding Jay Cutler a new celebrity girlfriend

 

Look it, I don’t know why JayCav broke up, why they are trying to make it work, or if they are going to get back together.  Quite frankly, I am not a big fan of Kristin Cavallari.  I mean how can I respect a girl who’s entire life has been built around being a bitch in high school.  Girls like her are a dime a dozen.  Having said that, Jay obviously plays better when he has a sexbomb waiting for him at home.  And I enjoy Bears games more when we get camera shots of Jay’s hot celeb girlfriend. So I am on a mission to find him a new one.

The Bears are in London this week, so Jay needs to be hitting on the posh spots and firing hard on Pippa Middleton.

 

Pippa Middleton really stole the show at the Royal Wedding and that after hours party pic almost broke the internet.  I think most chicks would rather be with an NFL quarterback(even a shitty one like Jay) over a stupid prince so Pippa would have one up on her sister.  It makes too much sense not to happen.

 

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NFL Week 5 Recap: Top 5 stories told in (mostly) pictures

Story of the night right there

Are the Bills actually good?

The Tebow era begins again

Everyone thought Atlanta was the new hotness, but their season has gone up in smoke.

Brady undefeated vs Rex Ryan with short hair. No more fucking around

 

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