Posts Tagged ‘funny chicago sports blog’

Did I just miss the boat on this X Factor Show?

December 1, 2011 Leave a comment


I used to love American Idol in its heyday and I am a genius at Dancing With The Stars, but for the most part I try to avoid these types of shows.  Having said that, I have seen a couple of these performances from this show and they are STRAIGHT FIRE.  This girl is ri-god-damn-diculous.  I guess she is like 14 or something.  Pipes like you dream about.  Adele better watch her shit(not really Adele, you’re the queen)…but seriously…she might.  This Drew chick is going to be a super mega star.  You heard it here first.


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Chicago Blackhawks Grades at the quarter pole(ish)

November 30, 2011 Leave a comment

This team has me scratching my head 25 games into the season.  On one hand, they are tied for the most points in the Western Conference.  Most fans and teams would probably be thrilled by that…not this guy.  This team just doesn’t feel like a Stanley Cup contender at this point.  Maybe its the fact that they have the league’s worst penalty kill…yeah 30th out of 30…wtf.  Here are my first quarter grades for each player…in alphabetical order.

Bryan Bickell: F

Bickell has played in 23 games this year and has registered a whopping 5 points.  Pretty pathetic.  He has been a healthy scratch once and has been demoted to the 4th line.  For a guy that is listed at 6’4″ 233lbs, Bickell doesn’t bring nearly enough to the team from a physical stand point.  The only reason he is on the NHL squad and not in Rockford is because his cap hit is so minimal.

Dave Bolland: C-minus

Bolland has 10 points in 20 games which isn’t terrible for a 3rd line center, especially on this team.  However, when you aren’t contributing offensively and you are the “shut down center” you can’t be a -5 on the season.  I have faith that Bolland will turn it around when it matters most, but he is a guy the Hawks need at least 50 points from.  He is isn’t quite on that pace.

Andrew Brunette: D

Look it, I hate to come down on Brunette here, but this was a terrible off season acquisition.  Brunette simply doesn’t skate well enough to play on this team.  The Hawks are about speed and tremendous puck possession.  Brunette is old, and was never that good of a skater to begin with.  He has been removed from the top 6 forward group and if it were up to me he would be replaced by young fresh legs on the active roster.

Dan Carcillo: C+

Carcillo is basically what you would expect him to be.  He runs around. Hits people.  Does a decent job on the forecheck.  Chirps.  Provides sand.  I am glad he is on the team.  Having said that, he has gotten a ton of minutes as a Top 6 forward.  He is over his head.  Carcillo is best suited to be on the 4th line, mucking it up and pissing people off.  His inclusion in the Top 6 speaks to the Hawks overall lack of depth.

Corey Crawford: C

I expressed my concerns about Crawford early in the season and practically got my head bitten off by people on twitter.  His numbers are average.  a .902 save percentage simply isn’t good enough.  The Hawks need to tighten things up in their own zone as a whole, but Crawford needs to get his rebound control…under control.

Michael Frolik: C-minus

What happened to that Bickell-Bolland-Frolik line we all saw last spring against the Canucks?  I personally expected Frolik to take major strides this season.  It just hasnt materialized.  The former top 10 pick has only 7 points through 22 games.  That puts him on pace for about 11 goals on the year.  A player with Fro’s skill should be able to fall backwards into 11 goals.  The Hawks were counting on secondary scoring from the third line and they collectively have been a major disappointment.

Niklas Hjalmarsson: B

Count me as a guy who loves Hammer.  The guy is a rock back there for the Hawks.  He skates pretty well, plays smart, is physical at appropriate times, and competes extremely hard.  Ideally you’d like a guy getting 20 minutes a night to have more than 2 points, but scoring isn’t a problem for the Hawks and Nik’s plus-7 rating shows how solid he is in his own end.

Marion Hossa: A

This is the player the Blackhawks expected to get when they signed the big Slovak.  Just puck possession like you read about.  He’s a point-per-game right now and also has a plus-10 rating.  He is effective skating with either Toews or Kane.  Hoss is one of the few player bouying this team right now.

Patrick Kane: A

Patrick Kane has been nothing short of electrifying so far this season.  He is producing at a high level while learning a new position.  Moving Kane to center has been by far the best move Quenville has made this season.  Kane has even been responsible in his own end.  Something many thought could never be a big part of his game.  I think Kane is capable of scoring at a higher rate than a point per game, but maybe he can’t do that until the Hawks surround him with two competent wingers.

Duncan Keith: B

Duncan Keith has certainly showed flashes of his Norris trophy level play on the back end, but it hasn’t been there consistently.  Perhaps he is playing too many minutes.  Keith is second on the team in points, but his +/- rating leaves something to be desired.  I am an advocate of putting 2 and 7 back together, and letting them do their thing.

Marcus Kruger: B

I have loved Kruger’s game for the most part.  Responsible.  Smart.  His 7 points certainly aren’t lighting the world on fire, but they are solid for a rookie still learning the North American game and getting limited minutes.  He seems to be improving every game.

Nick Leddy: B

Another young player turning in a solid campaign.  Leddy amazes me.  He plays the game so cool and smart.  He is great in transition.  He needs work on his game in the Hawks end a little bit, but he is a very capable top 4 defenseman with a bright future.  That Cam Barker trade was the steal of the century.

Sami Lepisto: Incomplete

Lepisto has only played in 8 games so far this season, so it’s hard to get a real feel for his game.  He is a good skater and moves the puck well.  I personally believe he is a better option overall than O’Donnell or John Scott, but perhaps Q and the boys like the added sand paper and/or leadership those two vets provide.  Lepisto is a solid guy to have as a 7th defenseman.  I’d like to see him get some more time.

Jamal Mayers: B+

I sneaky love Jamal Mayers.  He is everything you want in a fourth line forward.  He hits, he fights, he works hard, and is dependable defensively.  He seems to be a guy that will step up(at least in the press) and say something when the boys aren’t playing well enough.  Great off-season acquistion.

Steve Montador: B+

Montador is my favorite new Blackhawk.  He stands up for his teammates.  He plays hard every night.  He contributes in any way he is asked to.  Somehow he landed on the second unit of the powerplay and is actually delivering results.  Monty is a tough costumer and the Hawks are lucky to have him.

Sean O’Donnell: Pass

Ugh, whatever.  O’Donnell seems like a good dude, just old and slow.

John Scott: Ugh, whatever, Pass…I guess

Its hard for me to hate on John Scott.  He plays hard.  Does what he is asked.  Will stand up for teammates. Has a great mustache.  I would even venture to say that his skating as improved since last season.  He still probably the worst skater in the league, but he is better.  I am glad he is on the team. I just wish he was a healthy scratch more often than not.

Brent Seabrook: B-minus

The Hawks need more out of Seabrook.  Plain and simple.  7 points and a +3 simply isn’t good enough.  He needs to earn that big contract and get his game to where it was last year.  I do think that 2+7 is just something that needs to happen going forward.  Those two are in each other’s brain and work beautifully together.

Patrick Sharp: A

You can’t ask for much more out of Patrick Sharp.  The guy has been one of the better players in the league so far this year.  23 points and a +10 is incredible.  He is a leader on and off the ice and always plays with a tremendous effort.

Ben Smith: Incomplete

Smith needs more playing time.  Start sitting Brunette or Bickell or whoever, but the kid needs a chance to get into the flow of things with this team.

Viktor Stalberg: C-minus

Anybody who reads this space regularly or follows me on twitter knows how I feel about Stalberg.  The guy has a hockey IQ similar to Forest Gump.  Having said that…he is extremely talented.  Incredible speed and he seems to be a hard worker.  I think he would be a tremendous 3rd line winger, but he doesn’t have the smarts to be a top 6 forward.

Jonathan Toews: A+++++++++++++++++

I feel like that teach in “A Christmas Story”, but Toews has been sensational.  Probably the best face-off guy in the league, he is a point per game player, a +8, a leader, a penalty killer, and is extremely gifted offensively.  There is no doubt in my mind that Toews could be a 100 point guy if he wanted to sacrifice some of his defensive zone responsibilities.  Toews, to me, is the perfect hockey player.  I feel blessed to be able to watch him compete on a regular basis.

I really think this team is playing at its apex right now.  Stan Bowman has some work to do.  This team needs another top 6 forward and another defenseman.  It might be time to give some of the young Rockford kids a look too.  I really believe that Jeremy Morin is a 30 goal scorer in the making.  He would fit in tremendously on this team as a top 6 forward.  I am not sure if Kyle Beach is dead or what, but the Hawks need to find a big guy with a pulse because Bickell has no heart.

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This Kid Hates Tom Brady

November 30, 2011 Leave a comment


This kid hates Tom Brady and its fantastic.  I love being a fan of the evil empire.  You think Jay Cutler is good enough to make kids that are fans of other teams cry…for sure NOT.  There is a real divide in my family.  I have a brother who is ten years younger than me so he really grew up in Illinois…sadly he loves the Bears.  I mean in his formative years the Pats were just beating the shit out of everyone and everything in their path.  His older, cooler, hilarious brother loves the Pats, and yet my brother chose a life of disappointment and misery by being a Bears fan.  Sad.  I am largely on an island as a Pats fan here in Chicago, but at least I am not drowning in a sea of tears like fans of the other 31 teams.

PS: This is the 500th post on this blog.  No better way to celebrate than with a post about the Greatest Quarterback of All Time.


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Bradley Cooper, Sexiest Man Alive…for sure NOT

November 16, 2011 2 comments

I don’t get it.  I feel like chicks and gays are losing their minds lately.  Bradley Cooper kinda sucks.  I saw Limitless.  I was wicked pumped for it. Looked awesome…flop.  Meanwhile I am out here on the interwebs giving people nothing but straight fire like 3-10 times a day on average.  You guys be the judge.  Blogger or wicked successful actor, who is sexier?


Maybe 2012 will be my year.


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Guys who like Glee are so gay blah blah blah FALSE

November 16, 2011 1 comment

Slow day on the old interwebs today and a slower day in the sports world.  I could talk about Penn State again, maybe the NBA Lockout, but instead I am giving the people legitimate entertainment.  Look, I hate Glee as much as the next guy.  Its witty dialogue and kickass performances by smoking hot girls(who aren’t actually in high school, but only dress like they are so it’s totally not creepy and totally acceptable to refer to them as hot) just bores the hell out of me.  It’s just so gay.  The whole show…gay, gay, gay.  Now having said that…its effing awesome.  Give me Adele mash-ups until the cows come home.


PS: Not the black girl

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John Fox is an atheist

November 16, 2011 Leave a comment

I mean, what the hell?” Fox said Monday in an interview with reporter Jeff Darlington.  “You don’t get points for style in this league. Let me tell you  something: My man is really good in this offense. You know what I mean? “If we were trying to run a regular offense, he’d be screwed.”–John Fox, Head Coach Denver Broncos
Hey John Fox…Christmas is right around the corner so its probably not a good idea to be bad-mouthing Jesus’s left hand man.  I mean what else does Tebow have to do to make people believe in him?  The guy just keeps on winning.  Hell the Broncos won a divisional game against a red hot Chiefs team even though they only completed one down field pass.  You know what I call that…A MIRACLE!!! The Broncos were dead…Tebow has resurected their playoffs hopes as they are in the middle of a division championship race.  Haters gonna hate I guess.  I can’t wait until tomorrow when Tebow beats the shit out of the Jets.



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Jeopardy like a boss

November 16, 2011 1 comment


I think it’s a general rule that if you get double jeopardy twice you gotta double down.  This guy didn’t even blink.  Suriname…BITCH!!!


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