Toews Just Blew Smoke In Cutler’s Eye

While Jay Cutler was probably moping around about losing out on Kristin Cavallari(As opposed to just his regular moping), Jonathan Toews shows up to Wrigley with a smoke on his arm.  Shot across Jay Cutler’s bow for sure.

Toews’ girlfriend is Gabrielle Valasquez I guess.  Never heard of her, but she is really hot.  I would never be able to talk to that girl.  Having said that…I don’t think she is hot enough for Toews.  Jonathan Toews is a stud.  Captain+Chicago+Stanley Cup+Conn Smythe+Gold Medal+Olympics MVP+Movie Star Good Looks=That he should be wheeling Doutzen Krous or some A-list chick.

PS: Toews owns Chicago.  Best athlete in the city and shows up in the summer to Wrigley wearing Bears hat. That sentence got me hard.  Hockey season can’t get here fast enough. Gas up the party trolleys.

 

PPS: UPDATE, just found out that Doutzen Kroes had a baby so looks like Toews probably already met her…or at least made eye contact with her. Pretty sure that’s all it takes for him.

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Top 10 Blackhawks Home Games of 2011-12

Can we just fast forward to October? The summer sports scene is brutal now that the NHL and NBA are done.  Baseball just isn’t doing it for me these days.  Maybe because Chicago is like a black-hole of baseball talent. Is it me or was baseball better when guys were roided up? The Blackhawks schedule is out for 2011-12 and these are games that I won’t be putting on StubHub.

Saturday October 15^th vs Boston Stanley Cup champs roll into town very early in the season.  Marchand and Seguin will probably still be hung over and worn out from all of their paternity hearings.  Great chance for the Hawks to announce their presence with authority as they begin to reclaim what is rightfully theirs.  Thanks for beating Vancouver and everything, but I hope they did those engravings in pencil…

Sunday November 6^th vs Vancouver  There is NOBODY I love beating more than Vancouver.  Hopefully Luongo will be in net so I can dance to Chelsea’s Dagger all night.  The Hawks nail Luongo, nail him right in his mind.

Friday December 2^nd vs Islanders The Islanders are my darkhorse team to make the playoffs this year.  They have a good thing going with Tavares, Grabner, Okposo, etc.  They are an entertaining team to watch.  Hawks better put on the foil for that game because the Islanders aren’t shy about throwing down.  The game should have lots of talents and some fireworks.

Wednesday December 21^st vs Montreal I love a good Original 6 match-up and the fact The Habs don’t come to the UC every year disappoints me.  Both teams can really skate and it will be a battle of French-Canadian goalies.

Friday December 30^th vs Detroit The crowds for the games over Christmas break are usually extra rowdy.  College kids come home and drink and get a little excited.  “De-Troit Sucks” will be said so loud that they could probably hear it in Michigan.  Couple that with this being a Friday and right before New Year’s Eve and this might be the best party game of the season.

Monday January 2^nd vs Edmonton Similar to the Islanders, the Edmonton Oilers are an exciting young team.  Taylor Hall and Jordan Eberle are great entertainment.  Should be a high scoring game.

Wednesday January 18^th vs Buffalo Shockingly, at least to me, the Buffalo Sabre fans travel about as good as any fan base in the league.  They are kinda cute in a way.  Trying to get their little chants going whilethe Blackhawks are smashing their faces in all over the ice.  The Sabres are kinda soft in my opinion, but their fans are good people.  I always enjoy hanging with them at the West End before hand.

Friday March 9^th vs New York Rangers  Chicago vs New York, always a good rivalry.  The Rangers have a nice young core of guys that I’d like to see in person like Steppan and Dubinsky, and also plenty of guys to hate like Sean Avery and Marian Gaborik.

Sunday March 11^th vs Los Angeles  This could be a big match up in terms of seeding for the playoffs.  I feel like LA may finally take the next and win the Pacific division so the Blackhawks could need a few points to lock down the number 1 seed.  LA also plays hard and fast.  Going to be a good show.

Sunday March 18^th vs Washington This could really go either way.  Saint Patrick’s Day…on a saturday followed by what will probably end up being like a noon start for the Blackhawks game.  I am thinking that maybe I just won’t sleep and keep the party going through the end of the game.  Hannge Uppe basement until 4am.  Try to find some other party until like 6am. Head over to Nookies on Wells for an omelette bigger than my head.  Take a shower, throw the Hawks sweater on and start heading towards Madison. If I fail at sprinting that marathon…there’s a real good chance I miss this game entirely.  Ovechkin will be a blur regardless.

NHL Realignment, Relocation, and Expansion

So I got into a discussion with a couple of people on the old twitter machine about NHL realignment now that the Winnipeg Jets are on their way back(side note: if True North calls them something besides the Jets that would be so stupid.  The fans are Jets, and once you’re a jet you’re a Jet all the way). The discussion spiraled out of control into some discussion about the overall strength of the NHL.  The guys on twitter want the NHL to contract a couple of teams, where as I think the NHL should expand.  The game is growing. More and more kids are playing.  Just signed a big TV deal. More teams=more fans=more money=a better league.  It’s just so simple.  Here is what I am proposing to “fix/enhance” the NHL.

Expansion:

Add two more teams bringing the total to 32.  I propose that the two new cities should be Seattle and Quebec City.

Seattle:

• Seattle is a major US Market with corporations like Boeing, Apple, and Starbucks that would be able to support a team financially.
• The NBA packed up and left so hockey would be the only show in town
• The WHL team does well in Seattle
• It would be a nice geographical rival for the Vancouver Canucks
• It’s a great sports town. Even the MLS team gets 18K fans a game

Quebec City:

• Building a new state-of-the-art stadium
• It was always a great hockey market and many of the reasons why they had to leave before have been resolved(exchange rate, salary cap, venue)
• It would just be sweet, who are we kidding. Great colors, great rivalry with Montreal, and I love the odd occasion where the only broadcast they have for the Canadiens is the french feed on NHL Center-Ice. I don’t speak a word of french, but I find it entertaining and having a second french team would make that situation far more likely.

Relocation:

Some of these cities just aren’t working.  Phoenix is a mess and Miami is the worst sports town in America.  Time to just cut bait and find new cities for those clubs. The Islanders need a new venue too and they should really just move to Brooklyn and share that brand new building with the Nets.  Brooklyn is kind of  an island, right? Name still works.  For relocation cities, I would say Southern Ontario and Houston. Houston is an enormous market with big money and some hockey history.

Realignment:

In this scenario the NHL would have two more teams and 4 new cities.  I propose 4 divisions of eight.  Naming the divisions after the four greatest hockey players in history; Orr, Lemieux, Howe, and Gretzky.  The divisions would be as follows:

Orr Division

• Boston
• Montreal
• Toronto
• Ottawa
• Buffalo
• Quebec City
• Southern Ontario
• Columbus

Lemieux Division:

• Pittsburgh
• Philadelphia
• New Jersey
• New York Rangers
• New York Islanders
• Carolina
• Washington
• Tampa Bay

Howe Division:

• Detroit
• Chicago
• Saint Louis
• Minnesota
• Nashville
• Dallas
• Houston
• Winnipeg

Gretzky Division:

• Edmonton
• Calgary
• Vancouver
• Seattle
• San Jose
• Anaheim
• Los Angeles
• Colorado

Scheduling:

84 games with a somewhat balanced schedule.  Each team plays 4 games against their division (7×4=28), 3 games against the other division in your conference (3×8=24). The teams would just alternate years where one team has the extra home game. Then a home and home against every team in the other conference (2×16=32). Pretty sure that is a total of 84 games(28+24+32=84).  Everyone plays everyone and I don’t have to wait 3 years to see Crosby come through Chicago only to be out with a concussion.

Playoffs:

Rivalries are born in the playoffs. I want to create scenarios to make rivalries happen more often.  The top 4 teams in each division make the playoffs.  For the playoffs, I would like there to be essentially four mini conferences.  Top seed plays the 4th seed and no re-seeding.  Teams would have to beat their division rivals in the playoffs to get to the Eastern or Western Conference Finals.

This is pretty much genius and how Gary Bettman should play it.  Somebody forward this to him please.

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Boston Bruins Still Killing It…to the Tune of $156,679

I always dreamed of winning the Stanley Cup when I was a kid, and I didn’t even know about the partying that came along with Stanley.  Bruins had a decent night at the Foxwoods Casino I’d say.  $31,000…in just tips and taxes.  Brad Marchand and Tyler Seguin are everywhere. They haven’t stopped partying since they won the Cup.  Seguin is killing every bar in Boston as a 19 year-old. Teen pregnancy in Massachusetts is going up by like 30% at least this summer thanks to Seguin.  How do I get in the posse of this group? Every entourage needs a Turtle.

UPDATE: Seguin and Marchand still partying…

 

There is a God

Call it Karma, a higher power, or whatever you want, but clearly there is a God…and he is a sports fan.  The NHL and NBA Finals proved this beyond a doubt.  Two teams who cried, flopped, took cheap shots, and were led by fraudulent superstars made it all the way the championship series before God stepped in and said enough is enough.  The Universe wouldn’t allow teams like the Miami Heat and the Vancouver Canucks to win a championship. There were times these series where I thought I was watching the sequels to “Angels in the Outfield”.  Dirk’s improbable shots going in. Thomas’s improbable saves.  It was amazing.  The Bruins and the Mavericks saved America.

These Finals showed the world two “superstars” who have no class and no character.  Lebron James and Roberto Luongo.  So similar in so many ways.  Epic failures define their careers.  Former captains who just completely and utterly failed their teams, their cities, and themselves on the biggest stages possible.  They are basically the same person.  They are…LuBrongo.  I’d love Lubrongo to become like an urban dictionary definition of an epic failure.

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Tim Thomas Just Had The Greatest Season By a Goalie…EVER

Often times people get caught up in the moment and proclaim that whatever is now is best.  “Lebron James is the greatest of all-time”, “Green Bay Packers are on the verge of a dynasty”, “Dirk Nowitzki is the 2nd best Power Forward of all time”, etc.  Hyperbole dominates our world in the 24 hour news cycle…so I figured I’d join in. I am not going to say that Tim Thomas is the best goalie of all time, but he did just have the greatest season of all time.

Heading into this season it wasn’t even clear that Tim Thomas would be the Boston Bruins full-time starter in net.  He had suffered a hip injury in the previous season and lost his job to a bright young prospect, Tuuka Rask.  Tim Thomas is a fighter. He rebounded from his injury and turned in a spectacular regular season.

Regular Season Stats

• Record: 35-11-9
• Shutouts: 9
• Goals Against Average: 2.00
• Save Percentage: .938

Those numbers are historically good.  His save % mark of .938 is the greatest ever.  What is even more impressive is that the Bruins gave up a ton of shots during the regular season.  He is a slam dunk for the Vezina Trophy, and really should have been given serious Hart Trophy consideration.  He was clearly the MVP of the Bruins during the regular season.

Post Season Stats

• Record: 16-9 (emphasis on the 16 because that is all that really matters)
• Shutouts: 4
• Goals Against Average: 1.98
• Save Percentage: .940

Tim Thomas’s post season is perhaps more remarkable than his regular season.  Thomas played a ton of games during the regular season, and I sure thought that perhaps his 37 year-old body would wear down during the grind of the playoffs.  That never happened.  Then just when you thought Tim Thomas couldn’t play any better, he took his game to another level and dominated the Stanley Cup Finals. He hit was clearly in the heads of the Canucks.  Vancouver lost their minds. They complained about being out of his crease. Bieksa had the nerve to call him “leaky” after game 4. Luongo told the world that Thomas sucks and that he is better after game 5.  Thomas even nailed one of the Sedin Sisters and almost fought Burrows.  The guy did everything and completely deserved the Conn Smythe.  Nobody else was really in the discussion.

The numbers don’t lie, but they don’t tell the whole story either.  Thomas is a hockey player.  He is confident, aggressive, a battler, a leader, a class act, humble, clutch, and easily the most entertaining goaltender I have ever witnessed.  Hats off to Thomas on the greatest season ever by a goalie.

 

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Lock of the Century: Pumping My Own Tires

Before the Stanley Cup Finals Started I gave the Citizens four Locks of the Century.  In those bets, I went 3-1.  Let’s recap:

More Total Points

Burrows -150

Bergeron +120

Before the series I said: “Burrows sucks.  I don’t know how else to put it.  The guy rides on the skirts of the Sedin Sisters and get points almost by default.  Chara will be smashing them in the face all series long and I don’t see that line being a big factor.  Kesler will be skating against the Krejci line most likely which means Bergeron will have plenty of space to score.  Bergeron is without a doubt getting more points than Burrows.”

I am not even all that proud of this one to be honest.  Burrows sucks and is completely gutless, and now everyone knows it.  He had 3 points in the series, all of which game in game 2…a game for which he should have been suspended.  So in my mind he really had 0 points. Complete non-factor.  Bergeron, meanwhile was one of the Bruins better players and leaders in the series.  He is a terrific hockey player.  He has great character, plays two-way hockey and does all the little things right.  By my count he finished with 5 points, and his performance in Game 7 will go down in Boston folklore.  I think Bergeron will be thought of much like Dave Roberts, David Ortiz, Teddy Brushci, Ty Law, etc.  Maybe not the best player on the team, but a guy who had spectacular moments that will be remembered forever. Its a little ironic that perhaps the 3rd goal of Game 7 which completely locked up the Cup appeared to go off the hand that Burrows bit.  Karma is a bitch. Play with some class next time, asshole.

More Total Points

Erhoff -150

Chara +120

Before the series I said: “I am really confused by this one as well.  Chara will most likely be parked in front of the net on the Bruins powerplay which will give him more opportunities to score than normal.  He is also good in the transition game and should pick up a few assists when he isn’t murdering the Sedins.”

Again, picking an underdog that never should have been an underdog is nothing to write home about…but its nothing to sneeze at either.  Erhoff finished the series with a grand total of…drum roll please…1 pt.  Erhoff’s performance was…err–off.  1 pt in the series and a +/- rating of minus 7 for the series.  Way to step up in the Stanley Cup Finals, real solid performance. Meanwhile, when Chara wasn’t smashing Thelma and Louise’s faces in, he was contributing on offense as well.  He didn’t spend as much time in front of the net like I thought he would, but he still managed to chip in 4 points and was a +5 for the series.  Great performance by an elite defenseman and a strong leader.

More Total Points

Ryder +105

Bergeron -135

Before the series I said: “Ryder is good for a one big game a series, but he doesn’t get the minutes required for him to out score Bergeron for an entire series.  It also wouldn’t surprise me if Seguin takes a few shifts from Ryder as well.  Take Bergeron.”

Well if I was going to miss on one bet, I am glad it was the one involving two Bruins players.  Full disclosure, I have never been a big Michael Ryder fan, but I have to give credit where credit is due.  Ryder played a terrific series and finished with 6 points to Bergeron’s 5 points.  Ryder used his size and great shot to be a very effective player for the Bruins.  They probably couldn’t have won the Cup without him.  Props to Ryder.

Exact Series Pick

Bruins in 7

Before the series I said: “My heart says Bruins, my head says Canucks, and my balls say Bruins.  Usually when my balls and heart agree it’s a recipe for disaster…but I don’t care.  Bruins in 7. Suck it Canada.”

I am quite proud of this one.  The Bruins were big underdogs in the series.  Vancouver had home ice advantage, had just come off an easy series against a soft San Jose team, had the best record, Vezina finalist in net, Hart Trophy Finalist, Selke Trophy finalist blah blah blah…I didn’t care.  All of those awards are for the regular season, and they didn’t have a Conn Smythe Trophy candidate on the roster. Something deep down inside told me that the Bruins had enough sand to win this series and I have never been happier with a winning pick in my life.  As Barry Melrose said last night on SportsCenter, it was will over skill.  The Bruins simply had too much heart, pride, grit, and character to lose to this gutless Canucks team.  This was a classic series and good won out over evil.

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Stanley Cup Finals Game 6: Why I hate the Canucks Part Two

After Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals,  I did a post on why I hate the Canucks.  Well, one post on this subject isn’t nearly enough.  This series has brought to light everything that is wrong with Vancouver.  Every time I feel like I have reached a point where I can’t hate them any more than I already do, the Canucks baffle me and reach a new low.  I was always acutely aware of their on-ice act.  Whining, chirping, diving, flying elbows to the head, hair pulling, biting(well biting is a new one, but not shocking coming from scum like Burrows) etc were all to be expected when the Vancouver Canucks were on the schedule.  However, I had no idea that they were this smug and this arrogant.

I am paraphrasing here, but these are some direct quotes from the Canucks after their Game 5 win:

“Look, it doesn’t matter that I gave up 12 goals in games 3 and 4…I am better than Tim Thomas.  I would have saved that one he let in.  It was an easy save.  I am not going to sit here and keep giving Thomas compliments when he hasn’t said one nice thing about me all series. Tim Thomas is my hero and it really hurts my feelings.”–Roberto Luongo

“If I had a time machine, I’d still launch myself into Nathan Horton’s skull. Wouldn’t change a thing. It was only two seconds late and he shouldn’t have been looking at a teammate when trying to get ready for a return pass.  Its Horton’s fault I tried to give him brain damage.  I am the victim here.  The NHL isn’t consistent with their punishments.  I mean Burrows bites a guy and gets nothing, and I try to decapitate a guy and I get 4 games? How is that fair?”–Aaron Rome

“The fact that the Sedins haven’t scored one point and are like minus 23 combined for the series, doesn’t mean that they aren’t playing well or that Chara is shutting them down completely.”–Elaine Vigneault

If those three direct quotes didn’t convince you that the Vancouver Canucks are not only gutless, but also smug and arrogant maybe the story the Boston Globe is breaking will do the trick.  Not only did the Canucks plan a parade that would take place after Game 5 victory, but they also tried to sell the broadcast rights to the event.  So basically the Canucks just thought they could roll over the Bruins when it took them 6 games to beat Nashville, and 7 games to beat the Blackhawks.  Arrogant.  Hey guess what Vancouver…nobody wants to watch your stupid parade that’s 40 years in the making(that probably won’t even happen).  America hates you, the rest of Canada hates you, Sweden probably hates you, so you’ll probably end up having to put it on Vancouver Public access TV or something. Maybe U-stream.

DROP THE PUCK. I am ready for blood.  Rise up Boston.  Bruins 4, Nucks 1. So it was written, so let it be done.

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Lock of the Century: NHL Stanley Cup Finals Game 6

Vancouver Canucks +130 @ Boston Bruins -130

I have so much confidence in the Boston Bruins tonight.  The NBA proved that there are sports gods, and at the end of the day they will never let gutless teams like the Vancouver Canucks and Miami Heat win championships.  They just aren’t worthy.  The Bruins have too much pride to let Vancouver skate the Cup on their ice. 

Everyday the Canucks give people another reason to hate them.  After game 5, Roberto Luongo basically said that Tim Thomas sucks and that he would have saved that shot easily.  I guess it was just the other 12 shots in games 3 and 4 that gave Roberto Luongo trouble.  Then when the media pressured Luongo about those comments he cried because Tim Thomas hasn’t been telling the world how great Roberto Luongo has been.  Luongo is just a greasy, count chocula look-a-like, cry baby.  Tim Thomas is Wyatt Earp, Dominick Hasek, and Jack Bauer rolled into one.  Then Aaron Rome says that even if he had a time machine, he’d still trying to give Nathan Horton brain damage with a late blind side hit to the head.  There is nothing to like about this team. 

For whatever reason the Bruins were unable to bring the same level of intensity in Game 5 that they brought in games 3 and 4.  Now, with their backs against the wall and skating on home ice the Bruins will use their forecheck and hitting game to punish the Canucks and control the game.  I love the Bruins as the favorite, and if they score first I would put a paycheck on them.  The Canucks are front-runners and will quit in Game 6 if they get down early. 

Lock of the Century: NHL Finals Game 5 Edition

Boston Bruins +150 @ Vancouver Canucks -170

This line scares the absolute hell out of me.  Anybody who saw the last two games would never have spit out a line like this. That makes me think Costa Rica knows something I don’t know…but then I realized that is impossible because I don’t think they even have the internet down there. 

My biggest fear is that the Canucks will play Cory Schneider.  Not only do I think that Schneider is just the better goalie, but he is also mentally stable.  The Bruins would still have the edge in goaltending obviously, but not a 12-1 edge that they have enjoyed the past two games.  Even if Costa Rica knows that Schneider is the starter, is Schneider and home ice really worth -170 on the moneyline?  I don’t think so. My gut tells me Elaine will stick with the Veteran grease ball goalie with all the mental problems, but Luongo will have a short leash. 

Mary-Kate and Ashley Sedin are terrible.  They are like -32 combined in the series so far and I don’t think Henrik has a shot on net.  Chara and the Bruins team defense has completely shut them down and Marchand is getting under their skin like only Dave Bolland has been able to do in the past.  The Canucks are a gutless team and home ice won’t change that.  Give me Captain America Tim Thomas and the rest of the Boston Bruins. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gPZare9vpI

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