Obama showing off his football skills at Soldier Field

 

Hey Obama, open up that front shoulder a little more…jeez.  Just terrible technique here by the POTUS. Look Obama, you’re the coolest kid on the block.  Everyone knows it, but you suck at sports.  overtime I look up Obama is embarrassing himself by trying to be athletic.  He’s either playing basketball in sweat pants, or taking diggers in Hawaii, or laying bricks with the Globe Trotters. You’re blowing your cover man.  Pretty soon everyone is going to know that you’re half white.  That’s the last thing you need going into the election.

 

 

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Worst first pitch: Hot Japanese Chick or Obama, who ya got?

 

Obama clearly worked on his stuff since that 2009 All-Star game in St. Louis, but come on man.  You’re still the most powerful man in the world.  You gotta bring the heat.  Pump in a strike.  Eff the Clippers, the POTUS is lob city.  Having said that, I give him props for throwing it from the mound.  Most celebs throwing out the first pitch toss it in from like 40 feet. So right away he has got one up on this Asian broad.  This chick might go down as having the worst first pitch ever, but honestly…who cares?  She is still bringing the heat.  I have never really understood the whole Asian fetish thing, but this girl does it for me big time.  Love her.  I don’t care that she can’t throw.  It’s cool if a chick can throw a ball, but I’d rather have look hot than pump in strikes.  Advantage…hot Japanese chick.

 

 

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Obama dripping in sex on Jimmy Fallon

 

Your move Romney, your move.

 

PS: Who needs a growing economy, low unemployment, and a strong foreign policy agenda when you can just slow jam the news on the Jimmy Fallon Show?

 

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Ugh…Obama is so effing cool I can’t even stand it. Singing with BB King

 

 

Son of a bitch!!! How the hell are the Republicans supposed to compete with that?  The Presidential election, unfortunately, is a popularity contest.  That’s all.  Employment could be 9.5% for years, gas prices could be $5 per gallon, mandates coming out our ass, and an impending crisis with Iran…none of that matters.  Obama is just the coolest kid on the block.  If you really think one of these three guys can beat him give me some of whatever you’re smoking…

 

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Obama’s Spotify Playlist….are we sure he is black?

(New York Magazine)–Barack Obama’s online presence is no longer limited to Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, and Instagram. The president of the United States now has a Spotify account, which he announced via his Tumblr, obvs. He’s made you a mixtape, America!

 

I read through that playlist and I honestly can’t tell you if this is Obama’s spotify account or my dad’s.  I mean this playlist screams old white dude.  He even has two Darius Rucker songs.  Darius Rucker is the whitest black guy of all time.  This is the kinda playlist I would expect out of Romney or Santorum, but Obama is supposed to be cool.  He is supposed to be in with the college kids.  I seriously can’t figure this guy out.  Is he the cool black dude that smokes butts and plays basketball or is he the dorky white guy that wears mom jeans and rocks out to Sugarland?  The guy is a god damn chameleon.

Is this the real him?

Or is it this guy?

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Obama sucks at sports and its getting embarrassing

(TMZ)–Don’t let anyone tell you Barack Obama lacks cojones — because this weekend in Hawaii, the POTUS himself sacrificed his body to make a diving catch in a hardcore beach football game … and TMZ has the pics. The pics were snapped New Year’s Day at the Kaneohe Marine Corps Base on Oahu, where the President and the first family stayed for their 10-day vacation. Obama — who’s pretty ripped for a 50-year-old — makes some shockingly athletic plays … diving for catches, tossing up some Hail Marys, and juking people all over the place.

Who would have thought that America’s first black President would be our worst athlete?  I mean come on Obama!!! You’re wide-fucking-open and you couldn’t catch that lob of a pass? FDR could’ve caught that pass. You know how people say Obama doesn’t have a birth certificate and he isn’t who he says he is?  Well I am starting to believe them, because I am like 95% sure Barack Obama is actually Steve Urkel.  Urkel was also from Chicago, was skinny as hell, couldn’t dance, and also sucked at sports.  Its so obvious.  I can’t believe nobody has put this together. No matter who he really is, America can’t have our leader making a fool of himself athletically. I mean check out the Prime Minister of China…

Now there is an athlete.  Slashing through defenders and laying finger rolls over a 6-foot rim like it ain’t no thang.  Get on his level Obama!!! It’s an election year for christ sakes

PS: Anybody else at least mildly disturbed that someone was able to sneak up and snap pics of the President of the United States from that distance?  Where the hell is the secret service?

PPS: Now that I think of it, I am 100% sure Obama knew those pictures were being taken and “leaked” them to TMZ to make Obama seem like a normal dude.  Just your run of the mill paparazzo photo-opp to kick off an election year.

PPPS: That last picture of Obama playing quarterback locks it in my head that this was a photo-opp.  Obama staying in the pocket, taking a blind-side hit to deliver a pass over the out-stretched defender…looking like champ in that photo.  Obama even threw it left-handed just like Tebow.

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Vlad Putin is one smooth son of a bitch

(Business Insider)–Given the smoke and mirrors that seem to be de  rigueur in Russian politics (not to mention the sincere Russian love of  conspiracy theories), it was inevitable that someone would look deeper at  Mikhail Prokhorov’s election bid and find something fishy about it. Talking  to Gazeta.ru, Stanislav Belkovsky, a political analyst and associate of  Boris Berezovsky, argues that Prokhorov’s intentions are not to beat Vladimir  Putin in next year’s presidential elections, but to placate Russia’s angry  middle classes by giving the impression of choice, and to then take Dimitry  Medvedev’s place as Prime Minister of the country.

Here’s a Google-translated version of his comments:

“After the rally at the Bolotnaya area,  when it became clear that the urban educated class went against the government  and does not hide its position, the Kremlin puts Prokhorov in order to  neutralize the energy of this protest, that we all have expired sweet saliva on  what a good candidate is nominated the presidency “

While we have no idea whether this is true (and it seems foolish not to  question Belkovsky’s intentions too), there are a few issues swirling around  Prokhorov that do invite curiosity.For one, the timing of the announcement seems, at best, inopportune.  Alexander Rahr, the director of the Russia-Eurasia Program at the German Council  on Foreign Relations, told  Russia Today that the oligarch has little real chance of really entering the  race, let alone winning, at this point. “I doubt that Prokhorov will get enough followers,” Rahr said. “He needs a  party, he needs a movement. He has the money to conduct a campaign, but he needs  the people who will operate for him.” Prokhorov’s  exit from Right Cause, a pro-business party, earlier this year was a little  confusing, to say the least. At first Prokhorov denied criticisms that the  party was a pro-Kremlin device designed to capture middle class votes in the  Duma. Then he said the Kremlin had infiltrated it. Then he quit, calling the  entire thing a “farce”. And  then there’s the possible links to Former Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin,  who announced that he and Prokhorov were considering forming a new party this  afternoon. Kudrin, who left the Russian government  in acrimony this summer, is seen as close to Putin and had been considered a  possible Prime Minister himself until some kind of internal  power struggle forced him out.

I mean this is just down right diabolical.  Putin works in political corruption like Picaso worked in oils.  When his term limits were up, he simply just created a new position higher than President.  Then said “meh, fuck it…I think I will just be president again…without an election”.  Now some people in Russia are a little bit salty…so what does old slick Vladdy do…oh just get a billionaire oil tycoon to fake run for president.  Let people think they have a choice, then just stay President because all Prokhorov cares about is getting Dwight Howard to the Nets.  Prokhorov has like no political experience.  This could never happen in America.  Can you imagine if Obama had it set up so he could campaign against some guy who had no political experience, or maybe somebody that divorved his wife while she was dying of cancer, or a guy who openly hates gays, or a guy who …I mean Obama would be thrilled.  Instead he is going to have a real battle on his hands against….well…shit. Obama swag for the win.

 

PS: All joking aside…the Republican field for president is pathetic.  There is one really good candidate that NOBODY is paying attention to…John Huntsman.  Just a dream resume.  No candidate is perfect, but this guy is easily the best of the bunch.  Oh and…he has hot daughters(Especially Abby)…just saying.

Obama totally kicked Hurricane Irene’s ass

People were making this storm out to be Hurricane Katrina’s evil twin.  It was going to flood Washington DC, turn New York into sea world, and just completely wash away Boston.  Hurricane Irene didn’t account for one thing though…Obama swag.  Obama just stared that bitch right in the eyes and told her to leave his vacation alone.  Before you knew it America was winning the Little League World Series and Irene coward away like the little tropical storm that she was.  You hurricanes might have been able to pull that shit on Bush, but no weather fronts are destroying cities on Obama’s watch.

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Obama oozing swag. Sweet handshake bro

 

 

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Coolest Dog Ever!!!

For about 90 seconds of this video I forgot all about the troubles in the world.  I was just enjoying watching this ninja dog do things a cat would be too pussy(PUN) to even dream of.  Then guess what…turns out this dog is Russian.  Obama is just soaking up the sun, chilling on the beach in his mom jeans at Martha’s Vineyard right now, and he has NO IDEA Vlad Putin has dogs that can infiltrate Fort Knox right.  In case you guys didn’t notice, the Cold War is back.

PS: I don’t think this is the first time Russia has used kick ass dogs to do counter-intelligence work against the United States.  I am like 99% sure Clifford The Big Red Dog was 100% KGB.  That dog was everywhere when I was kid, then the Berlin wall comes down, USSR falls apart, and suddenly he’s gone.  He and that little minx Emily Elizabeth(if that’s her real name) got out of here before we figured out what was actually going on.

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