Umm…who wants some free shit?

 

Got a package out of the blue from New Era.  No idea why.  I mean I thought the Cubs game in a luxury box and two bags of product would be the end of our relationship, but I think they just love me.  Like maybe even more than I love them.  Anyways, I’ve got a shit load of great hats and t-shirts to give away.  I feel like I should do some sort of contest.  First contest…come up with an awesome contest.  Winner gets a New Era hat and a t-shirt.

PS: Miami delenda est

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Can I pull this look off?

So I went to the Cubs game last night as a guest of New Era. “OMG!!! Chief, that’s so effing cool.  You must be a big deal.  Here’s my number call me maybe”… I know, I know, but that’s not the point of this blog.  They gave out all kinds of cool shit including this Cubs hat.  I threw it on, but when I got home I looked in the mirror and…I don’t know…a little doubt creeped in.  I kinda feel like I am too old/not cool enough to rock a backwards hat.  I don’t know that I ever was cool enough for this look, but I know I am definitely getting less cool with age.  Ken Griffey Jr was the king of this look and nobody had more cool than that guy.  I love the New Era brand, but I don’t think having white bread dudes like me trying for the backwards hat look helps their image.  I don’t know, maybe it’ll grow on me.  It’s also kind of a sin to cover up my salad.  I am going to continue to use my thinking face(see above) on this one and try to come to a conclusion, but I could use a little help.

PS: JESUS CHRIST!!! Is my nose that big?  How could I have not noticed that before? Thanks a lot Dad.

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CUBS WIN!!! Also…Jeff Samardizja is F-ing LEGIT. LET’S DANCE

 

 

A month into the season and the Cubs are already 7 games out and in last place…but honestly…WHO CARES?  Everyone knew this year was going to be brutal.   The roster as a whole is as bad as advertised.  However, there are some real positives to take away from the first month and the most exciting is the emergence of Jeff Samardizja.  The guy is legit.  Five starts, three wins, a 3.41 ERA and a 9.09 K/BB ratio.  With Samardizja and Garza the Cubs have 40% of their rotation locked down for the future.  Combine that with Anthony Rizzo and Starlin Castro and the Cubs have a nice young core to build around.  Still a long road ahead and a lot of work for Theo, but there is reason for long-term optimism on the Northside.

 

 

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Real Talk Time: Why don’t the Cubs have a blazing hot sideline reporter?

 

I am from Boston originally which means unfortunately I am a Red Sox fan(and I do mean unfortunately.  I fucking HATE 24 of the 25 guys on the current team, I hate the GM, President, and Owner. But I grew up a Red Sox fan so my fait is sealed).  One thing the Red Sox do better than any team in the majors is smoking hot sideline reporters.  Started with Hazel Mae(I am not a big Hazel Mae fan because I don’t like Asians, but she is hot), Heidi Watney, and now Jenny Dell.

 

Just a decade plus of sideline dominance.  So my question is…why haven’t the Cubs been doing this?  Hot girls are at least 55% of the reason why people go to Wrigley.  I love the camera men zooming in on little dimes every chance they get, but this city needs a staple of hotness that we know will be bringing us fluff reports 162 games a year.  Like come on Theo.  I know you can’t fix the farm system and the major league team over night…but this is an easy fix.  I mean you can’t walk 10 feet in any direction in Lincoln Park without walking into some blazing hot 20-something girl.  Make it happen Theo.

 

PS: It goes 1) Heidi Watney 2) Jenny Dell and Hazel Mae…meh…third just because she has to be included.

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Right Field is the new hottness at Wrigley. Renovation pics

 

I don’t know what the finished product is going to look like, or what those seats cost, or why the Cubs even did this renovation.  All I know is that I want to have my pasty Irish skin be turned lobster red out there a few times this summer because I am sure it will be a party.  Easier access to beer with the same bleacher fun.  Let the baseball season begin.  I want to be dancing to the official WCS Cubs victory song all season long. SING IT J.D.!!!

 

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Cespedes signs with A’s, not Cubs…thank God

(ESPN)–Cuban outfielder Yoenis Cespedes has agreed to a four-year, $36 million deal with the Oakland Athletics. Cespedes can sign Monday after receiving his unblocking license from the U.S. Treasury Department’s Office of Foreign Assets Control, his agent, Adam Katz, told ESPN.com’s Jayson Stark. The outfielder needed the clearance because he is a Cuban national who has established residency in another country after defecting.

This was a bit of a curveball.  Every rumor surrounding Cespedes had the Cuban defector landing in either Miami or with the Cubs.  So the small market Oakland A’s dishing out a 4-year 36 million dollar bid comes as a bit of a shock.  Kudos to Theo for staying away.  Cespedes says he is 26 years old in Cuban years.  Which means he is actually in the 29-32 range.  Everyone loves a centerfield with some pop, but Cespedes is only projected to hit .270 with 23 HRs in the majors next year.  Thanks but no thanks.  Cubs avoided throwing away good money on a high risk player.  Theo doing work.  Cubs making sound personel is decisions is gonna take some getting used to.  Still kinda weird right now.

 

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This Chick accusing Starlin Castro of sexual assault has a lot of balls

So according to this chick’s statement the “assault” happened after 3am in Starlin’s apartment. They had been boozing in River North and the chick claims she blacked out. Not passed out, just blacked out. If having drunken sex with a girl that is blacked out is a crime you know who else is guilty…EVERYONE. This chick is obvi just some jealous White Sox fan trying to mess up the Cubs Theo momentum. Castro is innocent and everyone knows. Newsflash honey…all-stars don’t need to sexually assault girls(except Roethelisberger and that’s just because he is the ugliest QB in the league).

FREE STARLIN

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Dumbass White Sox fan cries about getting Cubs gift

 

How old is this little girl? I am the worst at guessing kids ages. I am gonna say that she is under 8…which means that she gets to switch her favorite team and nobody can say anything.  Kids switch their allegiances all the time…which is part of the reason I hate kids.  Her mom just gave her a free pass to be a North-Side baseball fan and this chick passed on it like a moron.  I’ve got news for you sweetheart…the Cubs are gonna be awesome.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon…and for the rest of Theo Epstein’s life.  Meanwhile the White Sox are set up to suck for the better part of the next decade.  This city is gonna burn to the ground when Theo brings a World Series to Chicago and this girl can either party with the rest of us or sulk in her Alex Rios jersey.

 

“This NL Central shit is easy”–Theo Epstein

 

I think its pretty obvious that Epstein is reversing whatever curses exist here with the Cubs.  He is basically Ghost Busting the shit out of Wrigley Field.  Sign solid outfielder with super hot wife…check.  League MVP and rival Ryan Braun suspended for 50 games…check.  Albert Pujols out of Division and National League…double check.  Epstein is on FIRE this winter.  A couple more moves and a culture change…then get ready for a fun summer on the North Side.

 

 

 

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Theo Epstein is NOT coming to the Cubs

There is all kinds of chatter from Chicago media and on twitter about how Theo Epstein is coming to Chicago to save the Cubs, break curses, fix the El, and clean the Chicago River…WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?!!? This sounds like Lebron, Wade, and Bosh coming to the Bulls all over again. Only maybe slightly more ridiculous.  Let’s take a quick look at the facts.

• Epstein is from Brookline, Massachusetts
• Epstein grew up dreaming about being the GM of his favorite team, the Boston Red Sox
• Epstein married a Boston girl in 2007 and are raising a young family(happy wife=happy life)
• Epstein’s family is in Boston
• Epstein has autonomy over baseball decisions in Boston
• Epstein has an almost unlimited budget for baseball operations
• Epstein’s foundation is based in Boston
• Epstein has a reportedly great working relationship with Red Sox majority owner John Henry

Theo Epstein has literally ZERO reasons to leave Boston.  The Cubs would be wise to snatch up Theo’s #2 baseball man in Boston, but people need to stop wasting their breath by talking about Theo Epstein leaving Boston. The Red Sox would match any offer the Ricketts would give Theo.  This is a complete pipe dream if I ever saw one.

 

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