LOCKS OF THE CENTURY: NFL Week 8

Lots of easy games this week.  Thank you Vegas/Costa Rica.  Parlay these if you want to be a thousandaire by monday morning.

Jacksonville Jaguars +9.5 at Houston Texans

Rumors are that Andre Johnson may suit up for this one, but even if he doesn’t the Texans are covering this spread with ease.  Jacksonville is coming off an emotional upset win where they beat the Ravens in front of dozens of their fans on Monday night.  Short week, on the road, against a division opponent that is getting healthy…

Arizona Cardinals +12.5 at Baltimore Ravens

I would not want to be the Cardinals this week(or any week for that matter, but especially this week) because the Ravens are PISSED.  They just got embarrassed on National TV and will be looking to make a statement in a bounce-back game.  Ravens roll at home.

New Orleans Saints -13.5 at Saint Louis Rams

The Rams suck.  No getting around it.  They are firmly entrenched in the “Suck for Luck” sweepstakes.  Just terrible.  Drew Brees can’t miss right now and the Saints are scoring in the 30s for sure.  Which means the Rams will likely have to score 20+ to cover…ask yourself  ‘Self, do I think the Jay Feeley led Rams can score 3 TDs?’…

 

New England Patriots -3 at Pittsburgh Steelers

Superstar humanitarian Uggs wearing stud vs a convicted(alleged) rapist…

 

60% of the time I am right…every time.

 

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NFL Week 7 Recap

Tim Tebow is so good that he proves the first 55 minutes of a football game are irrelevant.  I mean the guy is a winner first and foremost.  Nobody should be questioning his ability at this point.  Even when he sucks he is great.  I mean look at his form here in this picture.  Just effing terrible.  Ball is starting way too low in his delivery.  Awful mechanics.  What you can’t see in this picture is his heart.Probably threw a TD pass here.

Colts are the leaders at the quarter-pole in the “Suck For Luck” Derby.  The Rams and Dolphins are hot on their tail though.  Manning face right there.  Peyton might realize that his days are numbered.  Colts should be embarrassed.  The Dolphins at least tried to win, but Tebow was simply too perfect…hard to beat a team with Jesus on their side.

I don’t want to be a prisoner of the moment, but Matt Forte is the best running back in the NFL.  He can do everything.  He is the only thing worth watching on the Bears offense.  I can’t wait to see how Jerry Angelo manages to piss him off enough to walk away at the end of this contract.

back to

They are who we thought they were.  Two losses in a row now and Matt Stafford is scheduled to have an MRI.  Too late to enter the Suck For Luck Derby.  Lions could find themselves on the outside looking in again.

The Chargers are the softest/dumbest team in the league hands down.  They had an opportunity to win a statement game and stand up for their coach after he was insulted during the week and they choked.  With a chance to win the game on a last-minute drive, the Chargers ran one of the worst 2 minute drills I have ever seen.  They are totally pathetic.  Anybody who thinks they are capable of rising up and winning a big game is a moron.

Cam Newton is AWESOME

 

 

That’s about all you need to know.  That…and that games in London are stupid.

 

 

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NFL Kickoff Lock Of The Century: Saints at Packers

Opening week games are a complete crap shoot and this year is worse because the lockout has everyone behind schedule.  I have no idea who is winning this game tonight.  What I do know is that this over/under line of 48.5 is a joke.  These are two of the best offenses in football and they might get to 50 points by halftime.  It almost seems like one of those lines that is too good to be true. Like it might just be a venus fly trap of bets and Vegas/Costa Rica are just trying to Jedi mind-trick the shit out of me.  I can’t stay away from this one though.  Betting with my balls on this one.

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FALL IS HERE!!!

 

Today is the official unofficial first day of fall in my mind and I couldn’t be happier.  I love the fall.  Football is on basically every day.  I can stop pretending to care about baseball.  Hockey season is around the corner.  I start drinking hot coffee again. Starbucks has the pumpkin spice latte.  Touch football and seasonal beers at tailgates.  An excuse to drink on Sundays.  What’s not to like? Summer in Chicago is the greatest, but the fall is a close second.  The Fall is as American as apple pie…oh yeah…APPLE PIE and spiked cider.

 

PS: If you call the Fall “Autumn”…you are a loser.

 

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Please Explain Why The Bears haven’t signed Lofa Tatupu

 

Alright, I am more confused by the Jerry Angelo and the Bears front office more than ever.  What is wrong with Lofa Tatupu?  He has to have like herpes or something because he seems to be everything that the Bears need right now.  The Bears are VERY thin at linebacker right now.  One injury or Lance Briggs hold out and the Bears seem content going into the season with their current group of LB’s.  Tatupu couldn’t be more perfect for the Bears.  Outside linebacker…check.  Has played in a Cover-2 scheme…check.  Jacked up name that the Bears love(Ogunleye, Ayanbadejo, Azumah, Idonije, Omiyale, Afalava, Aromashadu, Tinoisamoa, Manumaleuna, Iwuh, Okoye, Sanzenbacher)…check and mate!! So what gives? Is this just another instance of Jerry being Jerry? If the Bears are waiting until after teams are forced to cut down from 90 to 53 players and see what else is out there…then fine.  If they start the season with these guys then it’s another strike on Jerry Angelo.

 

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Rant of the Day: When did playing WR become the easiest job on earth?

 

This Terrelle Pryor situation has me fired up. General consensus is that Pryor has like a .0001% chance of being a successful quarterback in the NFL.  It seems like the next thing out of everyone’s mouth is “oh well he can just play wide receiver”.  Since when is being a WR the easiest job on the planet?  The next time a running college quarterback becomes a productive pro wide receiver it will be the first time.  Being a wide receiver takes more than just being fast.  There are tons of examples of guys trying to do this and falling on their face.  Woodrow Dantzler, Eric Crouch, Brad Smith, Matt Jones, Marcus Vick, among others.  For every Antwan Randel El there are a dozen guys who fail.

The thing about Pryor is that basically all he can do is run fast in a straight line.  The guy had terrible times in the agility/change of direction drills.  He has never run routes, never caught passes, never been decapitated going across the middle, never blocked, so he will never be a successful WR.

 

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As much as I hate Jerry Angelo, he’s a billion times better than Al Davis

So yeah, the Bears got effing hammered by the Giants last night.  The team has holes everywhere…and a lot of those holes have been there for years(i.e. wide receiver), but even on the darkest of days as a Bears fan I wake up and thank god I am not a Raiders fan.  The Raiders make me really regret the fact that I don’t run a 4.3 40 yard dash.  If I did…I would totally be a millionaire first round NFL draft pick because the Raiders proved again that is literally all they care about.  Al Davis just spent a 3rd round pick on Terrell Pryor simply because he can run fast in a straight line.  He can’t do ANYTHING else.  Contrary to popular belief, Terrell Pryor SUCKED at Ohio State.  I was going to use his numbers to prove my point, but that would hurt my argument. Aside from 2010 he put up solid numbers as a passer, but he failed the eye test every time.  Pryor sucked and no numbers are going to convince me otherwise.  He was way overpaid at Ohio State.

How the Raiders arrived at the conclusion that spending a 3rd round pick on Pryor baffles me.  I wouldn’t touch Pryor with a 7th round pole.  Now the Raiders are without a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th round picks in next year’s draft.  Its amazing.  The Raiders just piss away draft picks and fire coaches left and right.  Al Davis made the Raiders great once upon a time, but the guy has seriously lost his marbles.  This could be a situation much like the Chicago Blackhawks under Bill Wirtz where they needed the old man to die before the organization could improve.  Too bad for the Raiders, Al Davis looks like he died years ago in that picture and is still going strong

 

Here is Todd McShay’s breakdown on Pryor’s future as a pro and how stupid the Raiders are:

 

PS: Al Davis is really dead right? Pretty sure he is the guy from Tales of the Crypt

 

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NFL Lockout Victim: HBO’s Hardknocks

 

Training camps are going to basically start on time, so can someone explain to me why HBO isn’t going to do Hardknocks this year?  Hardknocks is easily the best thing about the preseason. Cromartie trying to name his kids was one of the best moments in the history of TV.  My vote is Minnesota for Hardknocks.  Crazy ass Jared Allen, rookie quarterback, big fat Williams twins, and I think Mike Singletary is going to be one of their coaches if I am not mistaken.  He needs to be mic’d up forever.

 

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I AM READY FOR FOOTBALL!!!

 

Other than having Adam Schefter in my grill for the next 72 hours, I am pumped for the NFL.  This video is alright.

 

 

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Don’t Quote Me On This, But There Is A 200% Chance Kristen Cavallari Reads My Blog

(Chicago)–If a tweet by entertainment reporter Billy Bush is to believed, the engagement between Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and reality TV star Kristin Cavallari is off. Bush, a reporter with “Access Hollywood,” tweeted the news early Sunday morning from what he called, “a super-tight source.” Grizzly Detail has not independently confirmed the report, and shares skepticism with The Big Lead writers who similarly couched their report. Cutler and Cavallari have been dating since they met early last season, and since the two got together, Cutler has been covered by TMZ as much as ESPN. Just this month they announced that they had set a wedding date for July 7, 2012.

Ok…if there was any ever doubt that hot girls like Kristin Cavallari read this blog, those doubts have now been put to rest permanently.  Last week I said: “PPS:  How the hell did Cutler land Cavallari?  I know he is an NFL QB and everything, but Cutler doesn’t exactly look like Tom Brady.  If it was possible for an NFL QB to outkick his coverage, Cutler totally did it.”  Well…looks like I really got through to Kristin Cavallari because the wedding is now off.  I mean just look at the pictures above.  Cutler is a soft 4 on a 1-10 scale in the celebrity world and Kristin is a hard 9.  Too big of a gap to make up.  I feel kind of bad for ending an engagement.  But lets be honest, that marriage was never going to last.  Saved my quarterback a lot of time and heart ache.  She was clouds in his coffee.  Now he can find a girl that’s not a celebrity who is hotter than Cavallari and he becomes an 8 because of his NFL status.  You can thank me later Jay.

 

PS: Jay Cutler couldn’t be reached for comment, but I think we can all assume his direct quote will be “uhhh, whatever…”

PPS: Kristin…I know you dig my bloggerswag, contact me.

PPPS: Kristin Cavallari isn’t even that hot…for a celebrity.

 

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