DWTS Finals Recap: Katherine Jenkins coronation
No mercy rule on Dancing With The Stars I guess because Katherine Jenkins flat ran up the score on Maria Menounos with her last dance. By singing Katherine basically told Maria that when this competition is over she is going to go back to having the greatest voice on planet Earth and Maria will go back to reporting about baby bumps and asking more talented people what they are wearing until some younger version of Maria takes her job. Absolute insult to injury. I love it. Great way to put an exclamation mark on an impressive victory.
I guess there are two other people in the finals against Katherine, but it doesn’t really matter. This championship was going to come down to Katherine or Maria. These guys are only in the finals because Katherine decided to deal a knockout punch last week. This really is a coronation. A mere formality. If the other dancers had any virtue they would gracefully concede and just let Katherine sing and dance alone on stage for two hours. This competition was really over before it started. I don’t want to say I told you so…but I totally did…
As long as I can remember I don’t think my head, my heart, and my balls have ever agreed on something. Every fiber of my soul is telling me Katherine Jenkins is going to win this competition. The girl has everything. She is adorable, she is dripping in sex, great voice, unbelievable eyes, bombs like you dream about, great dancer, smile. If she can cook she is the perfect woman. I have never been so instantly in love with a celebrity(or anyone) in my life. I wish I could buy stock in Katherine Jenkins because this chick is on the rise. She is going to be a super-mega star stateside. So in my totally unbiased, humble, expert, opinion…the Season 14 DWTS Champion will be Katherine Jenkins and it should be like Secretariat at the Belmont.
It got a little tough in the middle there against Maria, but once Katherine started taking my advice there was no looking back. Total team effort between Katherine and I. All hail Katherine, Princess of Wales and Season 14 DWTS Champ and her coach/confidant/inspiration/future husband, yours truly…The Chief.
PS: I didn’t talk about her other dance because honestly…that was my fault. I got so overjoyed with the KO of Menounos that I lost focus and didn’t give the type of advice she needed. Kathy, baby, sweetheart…I don’t care if it is the Paso Doble…nothing but hits babe. Don’t dance to some boring ass old song with no lyrics. Next time go with Bieber. I should have told you, my bad.
Follow the Chief @WindyCitiSports
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