Posts Tagged ‘Kristin Cavallari’

Finding Jay Cutler a new celebrity girlfriend

October 18, 2011 1 comment


Look it, I don’t know why JayCav broke up, why they are trying to make it work, or if they are going to get back together.  Quite frankly, I am not a big fan of Kristin Cavallari.  I mean how can I respect a girl who’s entire life has been built around being a bitch in high school.  Girls like her are a dime a dozen.  Having said that, Jay obviously plays better when he has a sexbomb waiting for him at home.  And I enjoy Bears games more when we get camera shots of Jay’s hot celeb girlfriend. So I am on a mission to find him a new one.

The Bears are in London this week, so Jay needs to be hitting on the posh spots and firing hard on Pippa Middleton.


Pippa Middleton really stole the show at the Royal Wedding and that after hours party pic almost broke the internet.  I think most chicks would rather be with an NFL quarterback(even a shitty one like Jay) over a stupid prince so Pippa would have one up on her sister.  It makes too much sense not to happen.


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THROW THE DAMN TOWEL. Kristin Cav dominating Jay Cutler AGAIN

October 3, 2011 Leave a comment

Ok so both Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are on TV once per week, trying to do their best to make their ex jealous…and so far its been like the 1992 USA Basketball Dream Team vs Angola.  Kristin Cav dressed up as Marilyn Monroe and quick-stepped all over Jay Cutler’s heart.  I watched the Bears vs Panthers game and Jay Cutler looked depressed as hell.  He looked totally disinterested.  Every time the camera showed Jay on the sidelines he was moping around with this real pathetic look on his face.  He didn’t even have the energy to cuss out the QB coach, Lovie, Martz, or small children.  He is just so rattled by Kristin looking like hot hot fire on national TV every week.  Reports are that they “trying to work it out”.  That’s like saying Palestine agrees to a cease-fire with Israel after they get the shit bombed out of them for a couple of weeks.  Its time for them to get back together because I don’t think Jay can take too much more of this.  Samba dance tonight for the win.

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Kristin Cavallari is totally winning the break-up vs Jay Cutler

September 20, 2011 1 comment

Jesus, as if Jay’s week couldn’t get any worse.  The guy gets basically murdered for 60 minutes in New Orleans and now he has to see his sexbomb ex-girlfriend just strut her stuff right in America’s eye.  I want to hate Kristin Cavallari for what she did to Jay Cutler, but hips don’t lie and that girl KILLED  Dancing With The Stars last night.  No getting around it.

Jay is just so depressed that he is doing anything to get Kristin Cav back.  I mean look at this tweet between the two of them from yesterday:

Kristin Cavallari
KristinCavKristin Cavallari

 Thank u ☺ RT @JayCutler6: Good luck babe “@KristinCav: Don’t forget to vote tonight!! 18008683403 or” Vote for KC on DWTS tonight.
I can just picture Jay sitting in an ice bath, crushing whiskeys and pain-killers, and sending out this tweet to try and get his life back together.  Jay+Cav=Division Champs. Jay – Cav=getting killed by the Saints.  Poor Jay.

Don’t Quote Me On This, But There Is A 200% Chance Kristen Cavallari Reads My Blog

July 25, 2011 1 comment

(Chicago)–If a tweet by entertainment reporter Billy Bush is to believed, the engagement between Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and reality TV star Kristin Cavallari is off. Bush, a reporter with “Access Hollywood,” tweeted the news early Sunday morning from what he called, “a super-tight source.” Grizzly Detail has not independently confirmed the report, and shares skepticism with The Big Lead writers who similarly couched their report. Cutler and Cavallari have been dating since they met early last season, and since the two got together, Cutler has been covered by TMZ as much as ESPN. Just this month they announced that they had set a wedding date for July 7, 2012.

Ok…if there was any ever doubt that hot girls like Kristin Cavallari read this blog, those doubts have now been put to rest permanently.  Last week I said: “PPS:  How the hell did Cutler land Cavallari?  I know he is an NFL QB and everything, but Cutler doesn’t exactly look like Tom Brady.  If it was possible for an NFL QB to outkick his coverage, Cutler totally did it.”  Well…looks like I really got through to Kristin Cavallari because the wedding is now off.  I mean just look at the pictures above.  Cutler is a soft 4 on a 1-10 scale in the celebrity world and Kristin is a hard 9.  Too big of a gap to make up.  I feel kind of bad for ending an engagement.  But lets be honest, that marriage was never going to last.  Saved my quarterback a lot of time and heart ache.  She was clouds in his coffee.  Now he can find a girl that’s not a celebrity who is hotter than Cavallari and he becomes an 8 because of his NFL status.  You can thank me later Jay.


PS: Jay Cutler couldn’t be reached for comment, but I think we can all assume his direct quote will be “uhhh, whatever…”

PPS: Kristin…I know you dig my bloggerswag, contact me.

PPPS: Kristin Cavallari isn’t even that hot…for a celebrity.


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Hello Mrs. Cutler

July 19, 2011 1 comment

Football season can’t get here fast enough.  We have an entire season  of crowd shots of Kristin Cavallari to look forward to.  Win or lose, Chicago still wins.  I don’t know who Matthew Stafford or Aaron Rodgers is dating, but they aren’t as hot as Mrs Cutler. Bear down.

PS:  I got SOOO excited when I read the headlines about Kristin Cavallari’s “glass bikini”.  Glass implies see-through.  This was a total tease.  Not cool Kristin. You owe me one.  Paris Hilton style sex tape better get leaked within the year.

PPS:  How the hell did Cutler land Cavallari?  I know he is an NFL QB and everything, but Cutler doesn’t exactly look like Tom Brady.  If it was possible for an NFL QB to outkick his coverage, Cutler totally did it.

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