(Washington Post)–For centuries scientists have pondered a central question: How many species exist on Earth? Now, a group of researchers has offered an answer: 8.7 million. Although the number is still an estimate, it represents the most rigorous mathematical analysis yet of what we know — and don’t know — about life on land and in the sea. The authors of the paper, published Tuesday evening by the scientific journal PLoS Biology, suggest that 86 percent of all terrestrial species and 91 percent of all marine species have yet to be discovered, described and catalogued. The new analysis is significant not only because it gives more detail on a fundamental scientific mystery but because it helps capture the complexity of a natural system that is in danger of losing species at an unprecedented rate. Marine biologist Boris Worm of Canada’s Dalhousie University, one of the paper’s co-authors, compared the planet to a machine with 8.7 million parts, all of which perform a valuable function. “If you think of the planet as a life-support system for our species, you want to look at how complex that life-support system is,” Worm said. “We’re tinkering with that machine because we’re throwing out parts all the time.”
Is it me or has science lost something off of their best fastball? They just waste all this time and money proving shit that we either a) already know or b) don’t need to know. “Cleveland and Detroit smell like dog shit?!?! Women are bad drivers?!?!? Golly, thanks scientists. I never could have figured those things out on my own“. This is like the biggest Ponzi scheme of all time. These guys just act all high and mighty with their white coats, latin diction, and equations…then feed us crap, take our money, and expect us to believe them just because science said so. Hey, I love penicillin and landing on the moon as much as the next guy, but what have you done for me lately? This latest “study” is just pure arrogance…science is getting sloppy. Science is claiming that there are about 8.7 million species on earth…even though they have only accounted for 1.2 million species to date. “WOW 8.7 million!!! And we still have to discover 86% of all terrestrial species and 91% of all marine species? Wow, you guys sure have a lot of work to do. How much money do you need to find these non-existent animals…will a trillion be enough?” Then they just go on sweet, all expenses paid vacations to the Galapagos Islands. When they fail to find any of these species, they will just blame it all on my SUV. You’re busted science. If it were up to me you guys wouldn’t get another penny until you cure cancer and invent the hover-skateboard I was promised by “Back to the Future II”.
PS: First clue that Scientists were trying to pull a fast one us with this number of species study was the number. 8.7m is wayyyy too high. If Noah had to put two of every kind on his ark that would be 17.4 million different animals. That’s just ridiculous. 2.4 million is totally doable, but 17.4 million makes that story unbelievable. I bet scientists didn’t even think about Noah’s Ark when they tried to get us to believe that there are 8.7 million species…stupid scientists.
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