Home > Guide to Women, Internet Sensation > Mid 20s Dating Guide: If being attracted to this “psychopath” is wrong I don’t want to be right

Mid 20s Dating Guide: If being attracted to this “psychopath” is wrong I don’t want to be right

(Slackatory)–The world is fucked. If you are single, you’re fucked. If you’re married, you’re probably going to get divorced, so you’re fucked too. Online dating is taking over, and it’s as bad as everyone says it is. The general population is morphing into lazy, fake, desperate, and creepy weirdoes on the internet, and I did a little experiment to prove it. I made a fake profile on OkCupid based on a character I created, named Marla. Here’s what Marla’s profile looked like. Please note that in my profile picture, you can’t see my face, boobs, butt, or anything that would indicate that I’m physically attractive whatsoever.

So this Alyssa chick tried to do this social experiment where she makes guys look like pigs and to prove that we are “lazy, fake, desperate, and creepy weirdos”.  Umm…well you failed miserably Alyssa.  Clearly you don’t get guys at all. Here is what her profile says.

My Self Summary: hi im marla searching for someone special someone cute ages 26-72. i dont smoke cig. dont drink. Socially i will. Or in a basement. like to no more lets get 2gether 2 watch a movie n see how it goes im a nice gurl so if your serious im serious. Plz dont smoke. I smoke my stress down n I have a big dog named Booty so if u dont like dogs move hes the king lol peace marla.

Reaction: Animal lover who only smokes a little and is down to party.  Doesn’t discriminate based on age. And is a little desperate/stressed. Also, if I know one thing about girls it’s that if they say “let’s get together to watch a movie” it means they want to have sex 1000% of the time.  You can’t just come out and say you want to have sex.  That’s slutty, so girls will say let’s watch a movie, or do you want to come up for coffee, etc.  Spelling is a little rough, but we are willing to overlook that for sex. So far so good Marla.

What I’m doing with my life: lotsa stuff going on right now prolly too much 2 list but lets just say im doing well.

Reaction: Marla is a career girl.  Has her own stuff going on so she won’t be dependent or needy.  I am intrigued.  Another box checked.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food:

  • law n order is my fav show its like how do they always catch the bad guy lol
  • my fav band r the dixie chicks- dont laugh im a country girl
  • i dont read so no fav books lol unless u count star mag
  • my fav food is 4 sure hot pockets

Reaction: Law&Order isn’t really my cup of tea, but to each their own Marla.  Totally not laughing at the Dixie Chicks. I am down with country music.  Great harmonies coming from those chicks.  Honestly, who has time to read books anymore?  I mean Marla already said she has a lot going on.  No time for reading I guess.  Her busy schedule kind of explains the entire profile. No time for spelling, punctuation, book learning, and barely even enough time to eat.  Hot pockets aren’t a bad solution if you’re constantly hustling.  Marla looking good.

The six things I could never do without: sum good beer, a lawn chair, front porch, cigs, hot pockets, and my dog booty

Reaction: Amen baby. That sounds like good living Marla.  It’s all about the little things. She has good perspective and is easy to please.  Not a material girl.  We can work on the smoking thing. Nobody is perfect. Marla gets more attractive with every section.

I spend a lot of time thinking about: Don’t get me started or ill be here all day lol i think a lot about mostly different stuff

Reaction: Marla is a renaissance woman and a deep thinker.  A broad spectrum of interests.

On a typical friday night  I am: Drinkin

Reaction: Girl just wants to have fun.

You should message me if: u r looking for the same stuff as me n we have similar interests. lets get 2 gether 2 see how it goes i like movies.

Reaction: Am I looking for a girl in her mid 20s who wants to hook up: Yup, check. Do we have similar interests: I spend lots of time thinking about different kinds of stuff too, I like dogs, and I like to drink…check.  I like movies too Marla we should totally get together to watch one(wink, wink).

Alyssa Kramer also tried to say that people couldn’t tell if she was attractive in that profile picture she used for the site.  Umm…ok Alyssa.  I can tell that you are reasonably fit and I was contorting my neck all kinds of ways to see down your shirt even though it’s picture on the screen.  Plunging neck line much?  Marla sounds like a career woman who has a good heart, is honest, likes to party, and is DTF.  If loving Marla is wrong I don’t want to be right.

Follow the Chief @WindyCitiSports

  1. Cara
    May 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    I would LOVE to see the responses she got. I bet they are even funnier than her ad. 🙂 Although I’m secretly hoping not too many men were desperate enough to seriously respond. Makes my heart feel better that way.

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