Home > Internet Sensation > I want this old dude to adopt me so badly its not even funny

I want this old dude to adopt me so badly its not even funny

Like hey Old Guy in the video…I don’t want to be too forward, but I’ll be your grandson.  Both of my grandpas are long gone and I have always wanted a grandpa with his own tropical island.  I think this could work.  I’ll sit and pretend to listen to dumb stories about how things were in the old days until the cows come home.  We can play shuffleboard or backgammon or bingo or whatever else old people do for fun.  Hell, I’ll even watch “Murder She Wrote” with you.  Just make sure you leave me your tropical island.  This is the perfect arrangement. Symbiotic relationship.  I just need the internet and a satellite dish to watch sports.

Then when this guy dies of natural causes or accidentally gets pushed down the stairs trips over a turtle and falls down the stairs I will have my own island.  First order of business…seceed from these Seychelles Islands or whoever owns them and start my own country.  If I am on my own tropical island there is no way in hell that I am going to pay taxes.  Eff that noise.  I’ll just blog my ass off with my toes in the sand, watch sports, chill with my turtle friends, and fly in hot girls.  I would like to see Vanity Fair try to stop me from posting pictures of Obama and his college boyfriend then.  If I got bored I would just fly back to the states or any other country.  Go to like UN meetings and then party my ass off.  If I got in trouble…I would just claim diplomatic immunity and fly back to my island.  God this has to happen.  Just be a 21st century Swiss Family Robinson, only with more electricity and less pirates.  Old guy with no heirs…what do you say?  Email me.

PS: I don’t know what this guy’s game is but he clearly has living relatives…

Don’t even need a paternity test.  Quit denying your son you deadbeat.

Follow me @WindyCitiSports

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