People Magazine vs Science: Who got the most beautiful woman right?
(Daily Mail)–Leonardo Da Vinci spent a lifetime trying to paint one. Scientists and mathematicians have puzzled for centuries over what makes one, while cosmetic surgeons have amassed fortunes striving to create one. And Florence Colgate? Well, she simply has one. The 18-year-old student is blessed with what is described as the perfect face. It matches an international blueprint for the optimum ratio between eyes, mouth, forehead and chin, endowing her with flawless proportions. In theory, that needn’t necessarily cause her to appear anything more than symmetrical (in which department, incidentally, she is also faultless). But the blue-eyed blonde’s mathematical dimensions have just added up to success in a competition to find Britain’s most naturally beautiful face. Florence, who has a Saturday job in a seaside chip shop in between studying for her A-levels, beat 8,000 entrants to win the title. Contestants were judged without make-up and were barred entry if they had had plastic surgery or chemical enhancement.
Blonde, blue, and so effing symmetrical I can’t even stand it. Nothing hotter than a chick with just the perfect distance between her nose and mouth. Just sexy ratios all over her face. Having kids scares the absolute shit out of me, but I can’t even begin to tell you how badly I want to procreate with Florence Colgate. It’s like the most primal thing ever. I lose all self-control when I get one glimpse of how far her hairline is from her eyes. Science nailed this one right on the head, but People Magazine thought they knew what beauty was better than a bunch of virgin scientists. Here is People Magazine’s list for most beautiful women on the planet.
Ugh…gross. Beyoncé, could your eyes be any closer together you disgusting pig.
2. Sofia Vegara
Excuse me while I go vomit. I mean her nose is practically touching her lip.
3. Charlize Theron
Is this the picture from the movie “Monster” she was in? I mean just look at how far her hair-line is from her eyes. Definition of a Butter-face.
4. Madeleine Stowe
Probably the least symmetrical face I have seen since Cindy Crawford. Get out of here.
5. Lily Collins
Could this girl’s face be anymore square? Seriously heinous. Maybe get her some tweezers too.
So there you have it. People Magazine is full of idiots. Science nerds know hot.
PS: In all seriousness…who came up with that People Magazine list? Katherine Jenkins isn’t number one? I am calling bullshit.
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