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Miss Universe is 100% pure bullshit

So Angola won the Miss Universe pageant over the hotter chicks from better countries all over the world.  I checked it out on commercials last night between Tom Brady touchdowns, and the fact that this chick won proves the whole contest is bullshit.  They do all these events I guess where they answer questions or do talents or whatever, but lets get down to brass tax…this competition is about who is the hottest.  I mean, I suppose this chick is hot for an Angolan, but she isn’t the hottest by American standards.  In fact, I bet she is like the fattest girl in Angola.  Just crushing plates of UN aid meant for the entire village so she can get up to like 100 lbs.  Miss Universe spends the year touring around raising awareness and money for things like HIV/AIDS, famine, malaria, sick animals, poverty, and refugees…pretty sure Angola has all of those things in bunches so this chick is going to have her hands full.

Here is the real top 5 in the Miss Universe contest.

1) USA

If the United States is the coolest, then it means we have the hottest chicks.  That’s not me talking, that’s science.  You don’t see the nerdy awkward Chinese kid pulling hot chicks.  Its the cool kid who gets the girls.

2) Ukraine

Ukraine not weak, not weak at all

3) France

Viva la France.  This girl has what the french call a certain…I don’t know what.  Straight heat.


4) Australia

Everything you would expect out of Australia.  Smoking hot blonde.  Thank you Australia.

5) Sweden


Sweden’s two chief exports are hockey players and hot chicks.  Well done Swedes.


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  1. gus chiggins
    September 14, 2011 at 6:54 am

    A+++ blog right here.

  2. KL
    November 9, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    Miss Universe is not about American standards. By don’t you be honest and said she isn’t pretty because she is Black.

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