Friars pray for diarrhea payback
(Guardian)–A group of Franciscan friars furious at the theft of bibles from their church in Florence have taken the unusual step of praying for the thief to be struck down by diarrhoea. Friars at the 15th century church of San Salvatore al Monte, which was a favourite of Michelangelo, were irritated when a rare and expensive bible disappeared from the lectern, and they flew off the handle when a replacement bible donated by a worshipper also went missing and within a few hours. In a note, pinned up in full view of worshippers, the friars say they hope the thief sees the error of his ways. But in case he does not, they add: “We pray to God that the thief is struck by a strong bout of the shits.”
Come on Friars, you are praying the thief gets the runs? Take a look around you, you selfish jerks. In case you didn’t notice there is a lot of shit going on in the world already and God is effing swamped right now. He has more important things to deal with than this. This is just called being lazy. You don’t need God to give someone the shits. Get get off your knees, run down to the nearest redbox, and rent Dumb&Dumber. Dump some turbo lax into that stew Friar Tuck is cooking in that picture and your problem is solved.
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