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Posts Tagged ‘Obama Swag’

Vlad Putin is one smooth son of a bitch

December 12, 2011 Leave a comment

(Business Insider)–Given the smoke and mirrors that seem to be de  rigueur in Russian politics (not to mention the sincere Russian love of  conspiracy theories), it was inevitable that someone would look deeper at  Mikhail Prokhorov’s election bid and find something fishy about it. Talking  to Gazeta.ru, Stanislav Belkovsky, a political analyst and associate of  Boris Berezovsky, argues that Prokhorov’s intentions are not to beat Vladimir  Putin in next year’s presidential elections, but to placate Russia’s angry  middle classes by giving the impression of choice, and to then take Dimitry  Medvedev’s place as Prime Minister of the country.

Here’s a Google-translated version of his comments:

“After the rally at the Bolotnaya area,  when it became clear that the urban educated class went against the government  and does not hide its position, the Kremlin puts Prokhorov in order to  neutralize the energy of this protest, that we all have expired sweet saliva on  what a good candidate is nominated the presidency “

While we have no idea whether this is true (and it seems foolish not to  question Belkovsky’s intentions too), there are a few issues swirling around  Prokhorov that do invite curiosity.For one, the timing of the announcement seems, at best, inopportune.  Alexander Rahr, the director of the Russia-Eurasia Program at the German Council  on Foreign Relations, told  Russia Today that the oligarch has little real chance of really entering the  race, let alone winning, at this point. “I doubt that Prokhorov will get enough followers,” Rahr said. “He needs a  party, he needs a movement. He has the money to conduct a campaign, but he needs  the people who will operate for him.” Prokhorov’s  exit from Right Cause, a pro-business party, earlier this year was a little  confusing, to say the least. At first Prokhorov denied criticisms that the  party was a pro-Kremlin device designed to capture middle class votes in the  Duma. Then he said the Kremlin had infiltrated it. Then he quit, calling the  entire thing a “farce”. And  then there’s the possible links to Former Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin,  who announced that he and Prokhorov were considering forming a new party this  afternoon. Kudrin, who left the Russian government  in acrimony this summer, is seen as close to Putin and had been considered a  possible Prime Minister himself until some kind of internal  power struggle forced him out.

I mean this is just down right diabolical.  Putin works in political corruption like Picaso worked in oils.  When his term limits were up, he simply just created a new position higher than President.  Then said “meh, fuck it…I think I will just be president again…without an election”.  Now some people in Russia are a little bit salty…so what does old slick Vladdy do…oh just get a billionaire oil tycoon to fake run for president.  Let people think they have a choice, then just stay President because all Prokhorov cares about is getting Dwight Howard to the Nets.  Prokhorov has like no political experience.  This could never happen in America.  Can you imagine if Obama had it set up so he could campaign against some guy who had no political experience, or maybe somebody that divorved his wife while she was dying of cancer, or a guy who openly hates gays, or a guy who …I mean Obama would be thrilled.  Instead he is going to have a real battle on his hands against….well…shit. Obama swag for the win.

 

PS: All joking aside…the Republican field for president is pathetic.  There is one really good candidate that NOBODY is paying attention to…John Huntsman.  Just a dream resume.  No candidate is perfect, but this guy is easily the best of the bunch.  Oh and…he has hot daughters(Especially Abby)…just saying.

PUTIN CONFIRMS USSR IS COMING BACK!!! COLD WAR II is ON!!!

October 4, 2011 2 comments

 

(MOSCOW)–Russia’s Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said he wants to bring ex-Soviet states into a “Eurasian Union” in an article which outlined his first foreign policy initiative as he prepares to return to the Kremlin as the country’s next president. Putin said the new union would build on an existing Customs Union with Belarus and Kazakhstan which from next year will remove all barriers to trade, capital and labor movement between the three countries.”We are not going to stop there and are setting an ambitious goal — to achieve an even higher integration level in the Eurasian Union,” Putin wrote in an article which will be published in Izvestia newspaper on October 4. Putin said last month he would run in the March 2012 presidential election and his current public approval ratings show that he is set to win. Putin’s initiative comes as Russia nears the end of its 18-year-old negotiations to join the World Trade Organization. In the article Putin made no secret of his skepticism about the global trade watchdog. “The process of finding new post-crisis global development models is moving forward with difficulty. For example, the Doha round (of international trade talks) has practically stopped. There are objective difficulties inside the WTO,” he wrote. In 2009, Putin threw Russia’s bid to join the WTO into disarray, saying Russia would instead form the Customs Union with Belarus and Kazakhstan. The new initiative will have to be explained to WTO members.

WRONG CROSSROADS. Putin, who once called the collapse of the USSR in 1991 “the greatest geopolitical catastrophe of the 20th century,” said his new project would not resemble the Soviet Union.”It would be naive to attempt to restore or copy something from the past. However, a stronger integration on a new political and economic basis and a new system of values is an imperative of our era,” Putin wrote. Russia’s relationship with its ex-Soviet neighbors has been troubled by trade and political disputes and even armed conflicts such as the 2008 war with Georgia. Putin said he saw the new union as a supra-national body which would coordinate “economic and currency policy” between its members. It would also be open to new members.

Well shit!!! ITS ON now Putin.  You can hunt whales and tigers, slay hot Russian sluts, race F-1 cars, fly fighter jets, and pronounce yourself King of Russia until the cows come home, but reforming the Soviet Union crosses the line.  What he doesn’t realize is that he just saved America.  Everyone needs somebody to hate.  Somebody to challenge them.  USA has been dominating the shit out of the world since 1980 and now look at us.  Just a nation of weaklings throwing temper tantrums on Wall St for no reason. Putin reforming the USSR is just the wake up call America needed. I am so pumped for Cold War II it’s not even funny.  I actually never missed a beat. I have hated Russian hockey players my entire life.  The next winter Olympics are in Russia.  Patrick Kane and Zach Parise will just galvanize the entire country.  Patriotism is BACK. Shape up or ship out hipsters.  If you want to be a marxist, Leninist, socialist, or anything else besides an American you’ve got some options over in Europe.  These colors don’t run.  Obama Swag for the win.

 

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America is in an old fashioned Cold War Dance-Off

September 14, 2011 1 comment

Hey Russia…who do you think you are? Newsflash…we have a black president. If you were going to challenge us to a dance off you should have done it back in 2008. Solid moves by Medvedev here, can’t deny it, but lets see what Obama swag is bringing to the table.

Ok…that wasn’t pretty. Shit. Damn it Obama. Tighten that shit up. Better call in Michelle for reenforcement.

Ok, so clearly what is going on here is the old rope-a-dope by the Obamas. Just tricking Russia into thinking that they can out swag the king of swag. Obama is totally hustling Russia here. I love it. Dance off for world supremacy. Bring it on Russia.

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Obama makes first HUGE blunder of 2012 campaign

September 7, 2011 Leave a comment

 

The Republican Presidential Debate is tonight and Obama had originally planned to give his big jobs speech at the same time as the debate.  Republicans flipped their shit and Obama agreed to move his speech to Thursday…big mistake…huge.  Hey Obama, THE NFL SEASON STARTS ON THURSDAY!!! It’s the one day a year that everyone forgets that they don’t have a job.  Nobody wants to hear you speak tomorrow unless you are going to give people some inside information on the game so they can bet what little money they do have.  Furthermore…Wisconsin is a battleground state and they take their football very seriously up there.  They don’t want to see a Chicago guy interrupting their pregame coverage.  Obama is so disconnected with Americans it’s not even funny.  Cue the photos of him in mom jeans and a dorky Bears hat on Sunday to try to prove to Americans that he’s just a beer-drinking, football-watching, regular Joe like the rest of us.

 

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Obama oozing swag. Sweet handshake bro

August 23, 2011 1 comment

 

 

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Obama nailed Rajon Rondo right in his mind!!!

August 17, 2011 Leave a comment

(Yahoo Sports)–“In early March some of the guys went to the museum of Fine Arts for a fund-raiser and got to hang with President Barack Obama. Everyone was a little bit in awe. The President turns to Ray [Allen], points at Rondo, and says, “Hey, Ray, why don’t you teach this kid how to shoot?” Everyone starts laughing. KG told me he saw the look on Rondo’s face and the kid was devastated, embarrassed. Dissed by the President, even though I’m sure Obama didn’t mean any harm. Rondo smiled and went along with all of it, but KG told me he could see it in his eyes. It bothered Rondo. It killed him. The next day Rondo shot the ball horribly. He stopped taking shots after that. He’s so sensitive. I think it was a real jolt to hear the outside perception of a basketball fan who happens to be the President of the United States. It messed with his mind. I’m sure of it.”–Shaq O’Neal

 

If there is one thing Obama knows…its basketball.  In March, Obama knew that Lebron James sucks and the only team that could stop the Chicago Bulls from winning a championship was the Boston Celtics.  So what does Obama do…he jedi mind-tricks the shit out of the Celtics point guard.  Just diabolical.  Anybody can break a dude’s elbow like Dwayne Wade did to Rondo in the playoffs, but it takes a whole different level of swag to break a man’s will.  I’d bet anything that Obama called up Lebron James after game 3 of the NBA finals and that’s why his game went to hell. 

Black man doing his thing!!! Barack Obama mother-fucker, BARACK OBAMA!!!

 

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