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Posts Tagged ‘Obama Swag’

Ex-Girlfriend confirms Obama is effing smooth in the sack

May 2, 2012 1 comment

(Yahoo News)–”The sexual warmth is definitely there—but the rest of it has sharp edges and I’m finding it all unsettling and finding myself wanting to withdraw from it all. I have to admit that I am feeling anger at him for some reason, multi-stranded reasons. His warmth can be deceptive. Tho he speaks sweet words and can be open and trusting, there is also that coolness—and I begin to have an inkling of some things about him that could get to me.”

 

GOD DAMN OBAMA!!! This guy just can’t be touched.  For the first time in history an ex-girlfriend coming out of the woodwork in an election year is a good thing.  Just bringing sexual warmth, being aloof, and keeping this broad guessing and wanting more like you read about.  Obama is the smoothest cat in the game.  Like him or lump him, but you can’t deny that Obama is the best political athlete of all time.  Doesn’t hurt that the media does all his blocking and tackling, but Obama’s swag can’t be touched.  Romney is dead.

 

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Obama, you sly dog you. Barry Obama follows @SideBoobOrg on Twitter

April 16, 2012 Leave a comment

(Breitbart)–The verified Twitter account of President Barack Obama has been found to be a follower of the Twitter account @sidebooborg, representing a blog which collects and posts pictures of celebrities whose unadorned breasts are visible in profile. According to the individual who runs the followed account, who only goes by the name “Celebrity Sideboob,” the sides of boobs are a particular passion of his/hers. “If you haven’t already figured this out, I love sideboob and I run a website based on it,” on tweet states. Granted, the President is often not directly involved in the operation of his Twitter account, and nearly 700,000 Twitter users enjoy the honor of being followed by the Commander-in-Chief. One possible explanation for the cheek-reddening discovery is that “Celebrity Sideboob” may have been followed by the @barackobama account under a different, more innocuous name, then switched Twitter handles upon discovering a lucrative outlet for aggregating images of sideboobs. Regardless of the story behind this mystery, one can expect the President’s social media team to receive a stern warning about the optics of Twitter follows. Representing the leader of the free world, one must take every precaution possible to avoid looking like a–well, you get the picture.

 

Yeah Obama!!!! Who doesn’t love a little side boob shot?  Obama is just such a man of the people I can’t even stand it.  If Romney saw this sideboob site he’d probably start sweating and feeling really guilty.  Confess to his wife that he cheated on her in his mind.  Obama is just so real.  Speeches…tight, campaigning skills…tight, march madness picks…tight.  So what if he can’t fix the economy, the deficit, healthcare, and his basketball game sucks.  The guy single-handedly killed Osama Bin Laden and he digs side boob.  The guy knows what he is doing.  He didn’t fall backwards into the $53 million he raised in March.

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“Osama Bin Laden raid most audacious plan in 500 years”– Joe Biden

March 23, 2012 Leave a comment

(Huffington Post)–”You can go back 500 years. You cannot find a more audacious plan. Never knowing for certain. We never had more than a 48 percent probability that he was there. Do any one of you have a doubt that if that raid failed that this guy would be a one-term president? This guy is willing to do the right thing and risk losing.”–Vice President Joe Biden

Hey, George Washington, Napoleon, Grant, and Ike….tell me how Obama’s ass tastes.  Seriously, Obama just pushed those guys down an elevator shaft.  I mean killing Osama Bin Laden in his Real House Wives of Abbottabad compound makes D-Day look like a stroll on the beach.  Absolute brass balls on Obama.  I mean…what if Bin Laden wasn’t even there?  Can you imagine what would happen…well probably nothing.  In fact I bet that has happened a dozen times.  But still…Obama is the greatest ever obvi.  It’s a miracle that America even existed before Barack Obama took office.  Si se puede…

PS: The blog could get real political today.  Morons like Joe Biden and Senator Dick Durbin have me fired up.  Can’t believe those idiots are running the country.

 

Thanks to BD for the tip

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Recap of the Obama interview with Bill Simmons

March 1, 2012 1 comment

 

So Bill Simmons got a sit down interview with The President of The United States.  This absolutely blows my mind.  I am NOT a Simmons guy.  I used to read him pretty religiously, but a few years ago he wrote a blog talking about how great Peyton Manning, Kobe Bryant, and Alex Rodriguez are.  Haven’t read a word since.  He is just a simpleton blogger and he got a sit down with Barack Obama.  I was part disgusted and part intrigued so I decided to give it a listen.  Turns out Obama is even more awesome than he let on.

  • He knew about podcasts before anybody
  • He knew Jeremy Lin was awesome when nobody else did
  • He throws like a girl, but its not his fault.  Nothing is.  He doesn’t get to warm up, he has to wear a bulky bullet-proof vest, and a lot of people are watching which makes him nervous. He throws lightning bolts in practice though.
  • He won the World Series for the White Sox
  • He broke Chris Paul’s ankles

I mean just swag to the nth degree.  Game over GOP.

 

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Ugh…Obama is so effing cool I can’t even stand it. Singing with BB King

February 23, 2012 Leave a comment

 

 

Son of a bitch!!! How the hell are the Republicans supposed to compete with that?  The Presidential election, unfortunately, is a popularity contest.  That’s all.  Employment could be 9.5% for years, gas prices could be $5 per gallon, mandates coming out our ass, and an impending crisis with Iran…none of that matters.  Obama is just the coolest kid on the block.  If you really think one of these three guys can beat him give me some of whatever you’re smoking…

 

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Like him or leave him, Obama has serious guts

January 25, 2012 2 comments

CNET)–The president used the opportunity of his State of the Union address to say it’s time to “double down” on the concept but pointedly avoided mentioning Solyndra by name. “The payoffs on these public investments don’t always come right away,” Obama said. “Some technologies don’t pan out–some companies fail. But I will not walk away from the promise of clean energy.” Solyndra, which Obama personally touted as a success story in a 2010 visit to the company, became an embarrassment for the administration after its demise last fall. Subsequently released documents showed that politics infused the process, with major donors to Obama discussing the $528 million loan with the White House, and the loan taking place despite the project being rated as “junk” by Standard and Poor’s. The Washington Post reported last month that: “Since the failure of the company, Obama’s entire $80 billion clean-technology program has begun to look like a political liability for an administration about to enter a bruising reelection campaign.”

Say what you will about Obama, but the one thing you can’t deny is that the guy has serious guts.  I mean not just anybody can look America in the eyes and tell them that its time to double down on clean energy projects because the green energy industry has never looked more promising after blowing at least $528 million of tax payer dollars on Solyndra.  It takes certain kind of leader that can convince people to keep gambling when they are that deep in the red.  Steely resolve, ice water in his veins.  Green energy or bust baby.  Who needs that bullshit Keystone Project?  An estimated 20,000 jobs created from the Keystone pipeline across 6 states, bringing 700,000 barrels of crude oil from Canada to the US…EFF.THAT.NOISE.  Give it to China.  America doesn’t need cheaper crude from Canada when we can just get it from the Middle East.  Burning fossil fuels is so 20th century.  Burning money is the new hotness.  Play on player.

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A Couple of Mormon dorks trying to get righteous on a brother

December 13, 2011 Leave a comment

I have watched this video twice and I can only come to one conclusion…Mitt Romney has no chance in the general election vs Barack Obama.  I mean if this isn’t the definition of foreshadowing then I don’t know what is.  You got a couple of nerdy white boys rolling up on their Huffys wearing their helmets trying to preach about some shit and this guy just talks fast and swags the fuck out of them.  The Mormons get heated many times in this video and the black guy just charms them and gets them to keep talking so he can pummel them some more.  It’s like that famous Muhammad Ali fight where Ali refuses to knock his opponent out because the guy wouldn’t call him by his muslim name.  Ali just kept the dude on his feet and kept yelling “Say my mother fucking name, bitch”.  Just tortured the guy.  Romney just doesn’t connect to people and Obama is the coolest kid on the block.  Romney will talk about that time he had a sip of beer once, while Obama will be showing clips of him draining threes in a pick up game with Charles Barkley.  It’s just no comparison.  So Republicans, I am begging you…nominate somebody else besides Romney.  The dude is a square.

PS: It’s cool that I say “brother” right?  I mean Leon gave Larry permission on Curb to use brother so I think I am in the clear.  Just to make sure I am going to check with my black friends though….ok…friend…not plural.

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Vlad Putin is one smooth son of a bitch

December 12, 2011 Leave a comment

(Business Insider)–Given the smoke and mirrors that seem to be de  rigueur in Russian politics (not to mention the sincere Russian love of  conspiracy theories), it was inevitable that someone would look deeper at  Mikhail Prokhorov’s election bid and find something fishy about it. Talking  to Gazeta.ru, Stanislav Belkovsky, a political analyst and associate of  Boris Berezovsky, argues that Prokhorov’s intentions are not to beat Vladimir  Putin in next year’s presidential elections, but to placate Russia’s angry  middle classes by giving the impression of choice, and to then take Dimitry  Medvedev’s place as Prime Minister of the country.

Here’s a Google-translated version of his comments:

“After the rally at the Bolotnaya area,  when it became clear that the urban educated class went against the government  and does not hide its position, the Kremlin puts Prokhorov in order to  neutralize the energy of this protest, that we all have expired sweet saliva on  what a good candidate is nominated the presidency “

While we have no idea whether this is true (and it seems foolish not to  question Belkovsky’s intentions too), there are a few issues swirling around  Prokhorov that do invite curiosity.For one, the timing of the announcement seems, at best, inopportune.  Alexander Rahr, the director of the Russia-Eurasia Program at the German Council  on Foreign Relations, told  Russia Today that the oligarch has little real chance of really entering the  race, let alone winning, at this point. “I doubt that Prokhorov will get enough followers,” Rahr said. “He needs a  party, he needs a movement. He has the money to conduct a campaign, but he needs  the people who will operate for him.” Prokhorov’s  exit from Right Cause, a pro-business party, earlier this year was a little  confusing, to say the least. At first Prokhorov denied criticisms that the  party was a pro-Kremlin device designed to capture middle class votes in the  Duma. Then he said the Kremlin had infiltrated it. Then he quit, calling the  entire thing a “farce”. And  then there’s the possible links to Former Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin,  who announced that he and Prokhorov were considering forming a new party this  afternoon. Kudrin, who left the Russian government  in acrimony this summer, is seen as close to Putin and had been considered a  possible Prime Minister himself until some kind of internal  power struggle forced him out.

I mean this is just down right diabolical.  Putin works in political corruption like Picaso worked in oils.  When his term limits were up, he simply just created a new position higher than President.  Then said “meh, fuck it…I think I will just be president again…without an election”.  Now some people in Russia are a little bit salty…so what does old slick Vladdy do…oh just get a billionaire oil tycoon to fake run for president.  Let people think they have a choice, then just stay President because all Prokhorov cares about is getting Dwight Howard to the Nets.  Prokhorov has like no political experience.  This could never happen in America.  Can you imagine if Obama had it set up so he could campaign against some guy who had no political experience, or maybe somebody that divorved his wife while she was dying of cancer, or a guy who openly hates gays, or a guy who …I mean Obama would be thrilled.  Instead he is going to have a real battle on his hands against….well…shit. Obama swag for the win.

 

PS: All joking aside…the Republican field for president is pathetic.  There is one really good candidate that NOBODY is paying attention to…John Huntsman.  Just a dream resume.  No candidate is perfect, but this guy is easily the best of the bunch.  Oh and…he has hot daughters(Especially Abby)…just saying.

PUTIN CONFIRMS USSR IS COMING BACK!!! COLD WAR II is ON!!!

October 4, 2011 2 comments

 

(MOSCOW)–Russia’s Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said he wants to bring ex-Soviet states into a “Eurasian Union” in an article which outlined his first foreign policy initiative as he prepares to return to the Kremlin as the country’s next president. Putin said the new union would build on an existing Customs Union with Belarus and Kazakhstan which from next year will remove all barriers to trade, capital and labor movement between the three countries.”We are not going to stop there and are setting an ambitious goal — to achieve an even higher integration level in the Eurasian Union,” Putin wrote in an article which will be published in Izvestia newspaper on October 4. Putin said last month he would run in the March 2012 presidential election and his current public approval ratings show that he is set to win. Putin’s initiative comes as Russia nears the end of its 18-year-old negotiations to join the World Trade Organization. In the article Putin made no secret of his skepticism about the global trade watchdog. “The process of finding new post-crisis global development models is moving forward with difficulty. For example, the Doha round (of international trade talks) has practically stopped. There are objective difficulties inside the WTO,” he wrote. In 2009, Putin threw Russia’s bid to join the WTO into disarray, saying Russia would instead form the Customs Union with Belarus and Kazakhstan. The new initiative will have to be explained to WTO members.

WRONG CROSSROADS. Putin, who once called the collapse of the USSR in 1991 “the greatest geopolitical catastrophe of the 20th century,” said his new project would not resemble the Soviet Union.”It would be naive to attempt to restore or copy something from the past. However, a stronger integration on a new political and economic basis and a new system of values is an imperative of our era,” Putin wrote. Russia’s relationship with its ex-Soviet neighbors has been troubled by trade and political disputes and even armed conflicts such as the 2008 war with Georgia. Putin said he saw the new union as a supra-national body which would coordinate “economic and currency policy” between its members. It would also be open to new members.

Well shit!!! ITS ON now Putin.  You can hunt whales and tigers, slay hot Russian sluts, race F-1 cars, fly fighter jets, and pronounce yourself King of Russia until the cows come home, but reforming the Soviet Union crosses the line.  What he doesn’t realize is that he just saved America.  Everyone needs somebody to hate.  Somebody to challenge them.  USA has been dominating the shit out of the world since 1980 and now look at us.  Just a nation of weaklings throwing temper tantrums on Wall St for no reason. Putin reforming the USSR is just the wake up call America needed. I am so pumped for Cold War II it’s not even funny.  I actually never missed a beat. I have hated Russian hockey players my entire life.  The next winter Olympics are in Russia.  Patrick Kane and Zach Parise will just galvanize the entire country.  Patriotism is BACK. Shape up or ship out hipsters.  If you want to be a marxist, Leninist, socialist, or anything else besides an American you’ve got some options over in Europe.  These colors don’t run.  Obama Swag for the win.

 

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America is in an old fashioned Cold War Dance-Off

September 14, 2011 1 comment

Hey Russia…who do you think you are? Newsflash…we have a black president. If you were going to challenge us to a dance off you should have done it back in 2008. Solid moves by Medvedev here, can’t deny it, but lets see what Obama swag is bringing to the table.

Ok…that wasn’t pretty. Shit. Damn it Obama. Tighten that shit up. Better call in Michelle for reenforcement.

Ok, so clearly what is going on here is the old rope-a-dope by the Obamas. Just tricking Russia into thinking that they can out swag the king of swag. Obama is totally hustling Russia here. I love it. Dance off for world supremacy. Bring it on Russia.

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