Archive

Posts Tagged ‘NBA’

Mark Cuban looks really worried about the NBA Lockout

October 26, 2011 Leave a comment

 

The NBA Lockout is in day like 100 or something and they are cancelling like another two weeks of the season like every day.  The NBAPA better get their shit together and accept a deal like yesterday.  Mark Cuban seems to be doing just fine.  Billionaires are gonna beat millionaires who can’t miss a paycheck without having to declare bankruptcy 110% of the time.

 

follow me @windycitisports

 

NBA Draft Recap

June 24, 2011 1 comment

The NBA decided to move their draft from New York City to New Jersey, but it felt like they should have had it at Ellis Island.  The lottery was filled with a boatload of tall, skinny, ugly, awkward Euro dudes with names like Enes, Jan, and Nikola.  I can’t decide if this was the worst draft ever, or the best draft ever.  I had only heard of like 8 of the guys drafted and listening to Stuart Scott talk in a some like weird dialect of ebonics is beyond annoying, but the humor was off the charts.  Basketball Borat just kept getting drafted and interviewed all night.

Highlight of the night though was Jan Vesely’s girlfriend.

 

I know this guy is going to the NBA and everything(well, probably not Euros always suck except Dirk) but this guy is ugly.  Totally out kicking his coverage.  Not only is this girl a sexbomb, but she has no problem just frenching his face on national TV.  Staking her claim.  No doubt this will be the best moment of Jan Vesely’s career.  So do they just give girls like her out to guys in the Czech Republic or Lithuania or wherever he is from? I don’t care that he is about to be a millionaire, there is no way he should be able to lock that girl down.

 

follow me @windycitisports

NBA Draft Preview: Who Sucks the Most?

June 22, 2011 2 comments

In my heart of hearts, I truly believe that I could be a better NBA GM than 95% of those currently employed in those positions.  I am never more confident about that thought than I am during the NBA draft.  I just went through Chad Ford’s mock draft, what a joke.  Looking at the first 30 picks on that mock draft I can pick out probably 5 sure fire busts.

Bismack Biyombo:  Hasn’t this guy been drafted like every year? I could have sworn this was Ike Diago.  I don’t know anything about this guy and even I know he is going to suck. Yet, somehow this guy is going to be a lottery pick, then a D-League role player, and then he is going to be Ike Diago.

  Jan Vessly: This guy looks like a Jan.  Rule #1 of drafting…don’t take guys with chick names.  Red Auerbach lived by this.  Thats how he traded Joe Barry Carroll for Kevin McHale and Robert Parish.  This guy isn’t Dirk.  He isn’t even Marsha.

Markieff and Marcus Morris: If I know one thing about sports, its that twins suck.  Sedins…suck. Vinklevoss twins…suck. I am sure there are others.  One of these guys is going in the lottery I guess, I don’t really know which one…but it doesn’t matter both will be at the end of the bench passing out waters, towels, and high fives.

Klay Thompson: I am not even totally convinced that this guy is a human. This picture is kind of freaking me out.  That’s an ugly dude.  You can’t look like a freak and be a star.  So why draft this guy in the lottery? You are wasting your time.

  Davis Bertans: Albino guy from Lithuania…

 

There is a God

June 16, 2011 Leave a comment

Call it Karma, a higher power, or whatever you want, but clearly there is a God…and he is a sports fan.  The NHL and NBA Finals proved this beyond a doubt.  Two teams who cried, flopped, took cheap shots, and were led by fraudulent superstars made it all the way the championship series before God stepped in and said enough is enough.  The Universe wouldn’t allow teams like the Miami Heat and the Vancouver Canucks to win a championship. There were times these series where I thought I was watching the sequels to “Angels in the Outfield”.  Dirk’s improbable shots going in. Thomas’s improbable saves.  It was amazing.  The Bruins and the Mavericks saved America.

These Finals showed the world two “superstars” who have no class and no character.  Lebron James and Roberto Luongo.  So similar in so many ways.  Epic failures define their careers.  Former captains who just completely and utterly failed their teams, their cities, and themselves on the biggest stages possible.  They are basically the same person.  They are…LuBrongo.  I’d love Lubrongo to become like an urban dictionary definition of an epic failure.

follow me @windycitisports

Turns out LeBron James Sucks After All

June 10, 2011 2 comments

Last night was amazing.  The Heat are a joke.  Lebron has to be the worst “superstar” in the history of the NBA.  This shouldn’t surprise anyone.  Lebron has sucked all along.  He flat out quit on the Cavs last year because the Celtics were too tough on him.  Then this performance in the NBA Finals has sealed his legacy in my mind forever.  I don’t care if he wins 10 championships, he will always suck.  People were so quick to crown him as the greatest of all time.  ESPN is a joke.  Yeah he hit a few big three pointers against the Celtics and Bulls, but guess what…Robert Horry has hit clutch shots in the playoffs, he isn’t the greatest of all time.  Lebron is a quitter and a loser.  Last night was the perfect opportunity to assert himself as a superstar and leader with Dwayne Wade missing so many minutes with a bruise, but he failed. 

The Heat are so smug and arrogant.  That’s why everyone in America hates them.  I couldn’t believe when I saw them mocking Dirk for being sick after he kicked their ass when he was sick.  Hey Lebron, just because Dirk scored like triple the points you did, doesn’t mean that he wasn’t sick.  It means he’s a leader and you’re a loser.  Last night proved that if Dwayne Wade isn’t superman, then the Heat can’t win because they don’t have another leader on the team.  I hope Dallas finishes off the Heat in Miami.  The Heat don’t deserve a championship and neither do their fans.

The Mavs are America’s team and are truly a team.  Getting big time contributions from Kidd, Marion, Terry, and led by superstar Dirk Nowitzki.  Tyson Chandler is giving the Mavs defense and rebounding.  The Bulls used to have a guy named Tyson Chandler back in the day.  Top 5 draft pick.  That guy was a total bust.  Man did he suck.  Whatever happened to that guy?

I picked the Heat and the under in my Locks of the Century yesterday. “Taking the Heat on the moneyline at -105, Heat against the spread, and the under…which of course means the Mavs probably win a shootout, and I wouldn’t mind a bit.” Well, wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly what happened.  Haven’t looked at the lines for Game 6, but you can bet I am going back to the Heat well again if it means a Dallas Mavericks win.  You’re welcome America.

follow me @windycitisports

Lock of the Century: NBA Finals Game 5 Edition

June 9, 2011 2 comments

Miami Heat +1 @ Dallas Mavericks -1

I’ll be the first to admit that my NBA Finals Locks of the Century haven’t been the greatest. Costa Rica is kicking my ass in this battle.  Taking Miami in every game has burned me.  Miami is really underachieving, Lebron in particular.  All of these losses are making me feel like the Gambling Gods are trying to punish me by picking and therefore, rooting(kind of) for the Heat.  Well jokes on you Gambling Gods. I’d gladly lose money everyday if it meant that the Heat would be denied a Championship.  So, having said that…give me the Heat.  Lebron is not going to be held to 8 points again.  He has been out-scored by the Boston Bruins 12-8 in the last three days.  No way that trend continues.  Even with Lebron struggling, the Heat have still been in every game.  I think Lebron takes over today and has a huge game.  Proving that he is more fueled by what other people say about him than by winning championships.  He really needs extra motivation?  Jordan would have dominated the Mavs in an empty gym in Siberia because all he cared about was winning.  Lebron takes games off in the middle of the NBA Finals.  Thats the only argument I need.

Over/Under Total Points 184

Every game has been in the 80s and I don’t anticipate that changing now.  The games have been slow, not a ton of possessions and both teams have been bringing in on the defensive end of the court.  88-84 Heat win tonight.  Taking the Heat on the moneyline at -105, Heat against the spread, and the under…which of course means the Mavs probably win a shootout, and I wouldn’t mind a bit.

follow me @windycitisports

Lock of the Century: NBA Finals Game 4

June 7, 2011 Leave a comment

Miami Heat +3 @ Dallas Mavericks -3

My heart says Dallas, but my head says Miami.  Lebron James had 17 points in Game 3 and Miami still won.  All of these Heat playoff series are playing out the exact same way.  Hard fought throughout the first 40 minutes, then Miami’s talent and team athleticism just takes over in crunch time.  Miami learned their lesson in Game 2 that they can’t take their foot off the gas.  Look for Lebron to bounce back tonight and lead the Heat to a victory.  I am also all about omens. I am in Chicago and it is going to be 98 degrees here today.  Ignore signs like this at your own peril.  I like Miami in against the spread, against the moneyline and I also like the over in total 3pt field goals made. The war against the Costa Rican economy continues. I want the same citizenship medal that Obama gave Bill Russell when this thing is all said and done.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: