This one is for the ladies. Yahoo did a piece about what a Pet says about a guy. I’ll simplify it for you.
(Yahoo!)–What type of pet a man owns says a lot about who he is and how he lives his life. When you meet someone who has a pet, it’s just not the same as meeting someone who is pet-free. There’s a good chance his pet will affect your dating life – especially if it’s a dog or cat, since those tend to become the center of a person’s life.
Oh, you’ve found a sensitive fella! And he’s not only sensitive, but just loves to send you photos of his cat all day long and post them on Facebook and Twitter. I’m not sure why this is, but guys with cats are prone to such things. Also, although Mitten the Kitten can stand spending a night alone thanks to her litter box, the fact remains that she gets very lonely when her owner isn’t there. This means you’ll be spending most, if not all nights, at his place. Mitten the Kitten needs him! Why can’t you understand that?
If a guy owns a cat…he’s gay. If he says he likes your cat he is either gay or a liar or both. Cats suck.
If your guy has a tank full of fish, he just may be low on the emotions, and is probably even “cold as a fish” in bed. Pets are meant to be cuddled, not watched! Sure, maybe he has some sort of allergy to furry pets, but there’s just something weird and “Dr. Evil” to me about a guy who only owns fish as pets.
This broad doesn’t know what she is talking about. I don’t own fish, I have never owned a fish…but I like the idea of fish. Not like a goldfish, but like cool exotic fish. Fish aren’t really a pet. They are more like decoration. Like moving art that you have to feed every once in a while. If the guy you’re seeing has cool fish he is probably some kind of wicked cool, rich, hilarious blogger…at least that’s what will happen when I own fish.
Again, not exactly a pet you can cuddle with, but at least you can pet it and teach it to say things. A fella with a pet parrot is probably the type who’s really impressed with himself. How can you tell? Well he’s taught his parrot to say the same pretentious and cheesy lines he’ll try on you during a first date. Great. The world definitely needs more parrot douchebags who repeat “Hey good-lookin’!” every 10 minutes.
I think Parrot or any bird is a close cousin to the cat in this department. If a guy owns a parrot he is gay 99 times out of 100. That other time he probably so desperate and needy that he got himself a parrot to talk to at night. You should pass on guys that have parrots.
The reason your man would have a pet rabbit is because he never had one when he was a kid, and now that he’s living on his own, he’s going to finally fulfill that dream. The rabbit’s name is probably something like “Rambo“or “Killer” to make up for the fact that he’s a dude who actually owns a fluffy bunny
When I was growing up the kid next door owned rabbits and he was literally psycho. Just the weirdest kid ever. Would hide in the bushes and yell like indian war cries or some shit as me and my buddies were playing basketball and sometimes shot arrows into my family’s yard. Like real arrows. Do you really want to date somebody like that?
Seriously? A grown man with a snake? Does he drive a Camaro and rock a Metallica shirt circa 1986? Oh, you say he wants you to watch him feed a mouse to his snake on your second date? One word: Run. Run. Run
Snakes scare the absolute shit out of me. They have my entire life. I am man enough to admit that I have a fear of snakes. Any guy who owns a snake is just trying to prove how tough he is.
If he owns a dog, your man is loyal and can actually commit, because owning a dog is as close to having a child as it comes. While other pets can be left for an evening or two, dog ownership doesn’t allow for such behavior. But the major problem here is just how obsessed he is with his dog, because if he lets that puppy sleep in his bed every night, then you better get used to his dog witnessing your sexy times. Some people do not like an audience when they’re about to reach climax.
This chick makes some valid points about guys that own dogs. Guys that own dogs are obviously the best, but guys that are obsessed with their dogs are weird. Might as well be cat people. What you want is a guy who has dogs that he outwardly hates, but sneaky loves them. The kind of guy who complains about the dogs all the time, but then when one of them ran away he had a minor heart attack until some nice woman returned him. You want the guy who would never dream of letting the dog sleep in the bed, or even the same room…but loves using them as foot rest while watching TV at night. Hmm..where could you girls find someone like that…
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(Daily Mail)–Romcoms and Mills and Boon novels might give the impression that all women are after a tall, blonde, mysterious Adonis. But the reality is slightly less glamorous. Six out of 10 women prefer a Mr Average, a new study has found. We crave dependability, domesticity, a little romance, humour and someone who is not that much taller than we are. A OnePoll survey of 3,000 women of all ages, conducted by Orangina, found that women overwhelmingly favoured a decidedly average guy – aged 30 to 45, 5ft 10in, dark haired, a good cook, in full-time employment but with a creative side – possibly a part-time musician or artist or blogger*. More than half (58 per cent) of the UK female population said their ideal man would be aged between 30-45 with just 23 per cent demanding that Mr Right be in his 20s. Eight out of 10 women said he would have dark hair. While only two per cent said they could go for a redhead. Four out of 10 want Mr Right to be 5ft 10in or smaller, and fewer than a quarter want him to be 6ft or over. Orangina spokesman, Steven Simpson, said: ‘We were quite shocked by the results, to be honest. ‘The least popular UK male would be a red-haired, 6ft tall, 20-something banker, according to our study. ‘We expected British women to demand a sexy French accent and a staggeringly tall frame on their ideal man. Instead, we have discovered that what women really want in Mr Right is dependability, domesticity, a little romance, humour and an average size in height terms. ‘It seems the boy next door has suddenly made a staggering comeback in the popularity stakes while the hunky sports-mad jock we expected to see at the top of the list, is surprisingly out of favour.’ Despite their love of ‘Mr Average’, UK women still dream of an exciting (if not very original) proposal with almost a third (31 per cent) claiming that the Eiffel Tower is the most romantic place in the world to pop the question. Putting that much preparation into a marriage proposal is likely make it successful no matter what you look like.
Well this explains a lot. I have been single for some time now and I couldn’t figure out why. I mean I am putting out the vibe at the bar. Just blue steel all over the place, sick dance moves, buying drinks, holding doors, and of course being witty as hell. I really thought I was a catch, something wasn’t adding up. Now I know, my face is just too damn symmetrical. CURSE THESE GENES!!! Girls want a guy that is 5’10″…well I tower over guys girls want standing at 6’1″(6’2″ with Uggs on). I mean being too tall dark and handsome is the only thing holding me back at this point, and to think I almost got on the treadmill today. Seriously though girls, don’t be intimidated by my looks. I am very approachable. Give me a chance and I will show that I am average at almost everything.
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Stay strong bro, stay strong. The kid is right…this girl can’t yell at him because she isn’t the boss…but the second you get married…she 100% is the boss. I mean, I wouldn’t want to marry this chick either. I mean this is how she is before the marriage, imagine what she is going to be like once this guy is all locked up. This is the danger of Mid 20s dating. You date a girl for a few months and next thing you know you are over at her house and she has wedding magazines all over the coffee table with pages marked. Obviously the first instinct here would be to run…but then you realize you’ll have to go without regular sex. So you pretend that you can avoid the whole situation and press the ejector button at the last second. Which is nearly impossible. So a few more months go by and your girl has worn you down to the point where you’ll do anything to stop that yelling and nagging. Before you know…you are standing at the altar wondering where you went wrong. It’s too late at that point though. You’re done. Which is why I have so much respect for this kid. He flat out refused to hear about marriage. He wouldn’t even look at her. He even tried to get his mom to reason with this broad. So he went with the big guns. The old Costanza move. He turned on the water works. Good move guy. Good move.
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(Oregon)–An elderly couple struggling to learn how to use a webcam have become viral video sensations after their granddaughter posted the fumbling footage online. Bruce and Esther Huffman, of McMinnville, Oregon, captured close to three minutes of themselves making faces at the camera and trying to navigate their new laptop. But they didn’t realise until the very end they were being recorded as she tried to take a picture.’Webcam 101 for Seniors’ has scored over 170,000 hits since it was posted on YouTube by the couple’s granddaughter on August 21. It begins with Bruce Huffman making faces as he looks at his image on screen. ‘Look at the monkey!’ he says, ‘That’s a pretty good monkey.’ Meanwhile his wife, Esther, is focused on the task at hand. ‘Did it capture? I put it on capture,’ she says, ‘Do it again.’ Bruce entertains himself, singing The Andrew Sisters’ Hello, My Baby, joking about their wrinkles, and sweetly compliments his wife’s ‘pretty hair’.
This YouTube video of these old people is going viral. People getting a good laugh from watching these old fogies try to figure out the internet. Well, maybe this guy would care about figuring out the interwebs if he wasn’t so busy spitting perfect game at this old broad. His game is so tight. This silver fox is such a boss I can’t even handle it. The guy just gave the world a step by step to wheeling chicks.
Step 1: Make her laugh. He went hard style with the monkey face here. She ate it up.
Step 2: Give her a compliment. “Oh look at your pretty hair”…just too effing smooth.
Step 3: Be aggressive. Chicks want dominant males. This guy step to the plate big time and tried to slide her dress off
Step 4: Make a her a little insecure. Guy starts with a little self-deprecating humor, then just tells her that her wrinkles are huge.
Step 5: Pop a Viagra and turn off the camera
Simply amazing. This old grampa just gave a 101 on how to pick up chicks. Some things never change I guess.
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(AMSTERDAM, AP) — Dutch prosecutors are charging a 42-year-old woman with stalking after she allegedly called her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in the past year. The 62-year-old victim from The Hague filed a police complaint in August due to the persistent phone calls. Police arrested the suspected stalker Monday, seizing several cell phones and computers from her home in Rotterdam. Hague prosecution spokeswoman Nicolette Stoel said Thursday the woman argued to judges at a preliminary hearing she had a relationship with the man and the number of calls she placed to him wasn’t excessive. The man denied they had a relationship. The court ordered her not to contact him again.
Here we go with Volume 2 in an infinite part series about what NOT to do in relationships.
Girls are so bat shit crazy its unbelievable. Everyone has made a drunken phone call to an ex that they wish they could take back, but this girl has taken it to a whole different level. 65,000 calls a year is 179 calls a day and 7 or 8 per hour. This chick’s fulltime job is being a lunatic. I get that this chick is single and desperate and wants her boyfriend back, but she is going about it all wrong. Kind of a rookie move for a 42 year-old dating veteran. I mean she totally had the upper-hand in this thing on paper. She is 20 years younger than this guy. I don’t care how many blue pills he is popping, I guarantee chicks aren’t beating down his door to hop in bed with a 62 year-old dude with gray hair, flabby skin, and old…balls…gross. When flirting over the phone you NEVER want to be the last one to communicate(and you definitely don’t want to be the last one to communicate 65,000 times in a row). I definitely learned this lesson the one the hard way(more than once). I’ll be texting back and forth with a girl and she’ll be just eating up my jokes. Just flirty LOLs and HAHAHAHAs all over the place. Then the convo clearly comes to end point but instead of playing it smooth and leave her wanting more…I come back with something stupid like “So…what are you up to this weekend?” and…crickets. Just kills all momentum. One text too many and its over before it even started. If this girl wasn’t so effing crazy(just a hypothetical, she’s a chick so of course she is crazy) she could’ve had this old guy back in a minute. Tone down the crazy and make him think it was his idea. This guy knows that he doesn’t have a lot of options and if a chick can stand his presence for a minute he should hold on to her like grim death…which isn’t far off.
PS: This chick is probably getting recruited like mad by tele-marketing companies. Dial, click, dial, all day long with no bathroom breaks.
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(IMMOKALEE) — An Immokalee man is facing a domestic battery charge after authorities say he gave his girlfriend a hair cut — while she slept. David Bustos, 26, of the 700 block of Crestview Circle, was arrested Thursday by Collier County sheriff’s deputies at home. Bustos and his girlfriend got into an argument on Tuesday causing Bustos to leave his girlfriend’s home, according to an arrest report. She told deputies that around 7 a.m. the next morning she awoke in her bed to Bustos shaving her head with an electric hair clipper. He used such force with the clippers that it caused a small cut on her scalp, according to reports. The victim told deputies that she immediately kicked him off of her and he fled the home. Deputies said there were several sections of braided hair lying on the victim’s bed.
Ok, so I haven’t done a Mid 20s Dating Guide blog in a while because quite frankly…I am out of material. I pretty much put everything I know about girls and dating into like three blogs. I am out of tips on things to do. I didn’t realize until today that I know way more about what NOT to do. Some from experience, and some from common sense. So here is Volume One of probably an infinite part series about what not to do when dating girls.
So, if you have a fight with your girlfriend I would say probably the number one thing NOT to do is sneak back into her room at night and buzz off all of her hair. Yeah, yeah its battery blah blah blah…that’s not the biggest issue at hand here. Bro…YOU CUT OFF YOUR GIRL’S HAIR!!! Girls with short hair are disgusting, and girls with buzzed heads are even worse. Exhibit A) Britney Spears. I put up with all her weight issues, pregnancies, and scarring from her pregnancies because deep down I knew “I’m a Slave For You” Britney Spears was still in there somewhere. However, the minute she cut all her hair off I checked out forever. Girls should never ever have their hair shorter than their shoulders. That’s just the law, or at least it should be. Now this guy is completely stuck. He can’t break up with her now. Break up and she is 100% going through with these charges. If he sweet talks her into giving the relationship another shot…she will drop the charges. So now this guy is in a relationship with a bald freak. Back fire of the century.
And if this guy thought his girlfriend got pissed before when he didn’t notice that she made a minor change to her hair, he hasn’t seen anything yet. Girls pay like $500 every month for some chick to put little blonde streaks in their hair and cut off a half an inch. This girl will practically be living at the salon trying to salvage something she can leave the house with. Guess what happens if she walks in and this guy didn’t notice that she changed her hair? Godzilla times a billion!!! All around failure by this guy. I may not know much about dating, but I do know that if you cut a girl’s hair off in the middle of the night…that’s a no-win situation.
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