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Lebron lives in some sort of bizarro world

April 19, 2012 Leave a comment

(ESPN Heat Index)–In the final week of his ninth regular season, James has emerged as a strong contender to win his third Most Valuable Player Award. If he wins, he would be just the eighth player in history to win it three times. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is the only player to win three at a younger age than James, who turned 27 in December. James is fully aware of this historical context. “It would mean a lot, honestly, it would mean a lot,” James said. “If I’m able to win it this year it would be very humbling knowing the caliber of guys who have won it three times.””I remember me being a little, scrawny guy from Akron, Ohio, and watching so many greats either watching live or watching games, knowing and loving the history of the game and seeing the guys who have paved the way for myself. I’ve always respected that. I’ve always respected the talent that came before me.” The difference between those players and James, of course, is that all of them had won championships by the time their careers were over. Chamberlain and Malone both won their third MVP in the year they got their first championship. But that lack of a title to this point may not affect how the voters who select the MVP view James. In a sampling of veteran NBA journalists and broadcasters who vote, none said historical context would play a role on how they would vote on the award this year.

This is the thing that frustrates me maybe the most about Lebron.  It’s like he just doesn’t get it.  He is just completely delusional.  Let’s pretend for a minute that Lebron is the league MVP this year and not Kevin Durant…does that change anything?  It almost reinforces everything that I already know.  When the games don’t mean as much, LBJ is your guy.  He is the best player in the league when his team is up by 20 points in the 2nd half, but he has proved his entire career that he will flat-out quit if teams challenge him in the playoffs.  When he was in Cleveland he quit against the Celtics.  Just pissed away the series because he didn’t feel like getting checked by Pierce or taunted by KG after Game 4.  Then he somehow managed to hit a new low in the Finals last season against the Mavs.  Even though he fails repeatedly, he still likes to throw his name in the mix with guys like Bird, Jordan, Magic, and Kareem.  It’s like one of those standardized test questions…”Which one of these doesn’t belong?” Answer: The pretentious loser dickhead without a ring.  The best part about this whole soliloquy that Lebron went on was that this year he is just out there having fun without a care in the world…obviously last year during the Finals he showed how much he cared.  What’s he going to do this year now that it’s just all about fun…just literally not show up?  I mean that’s probably the only way he could be less of a playoff failure.  If he flat-out refused to play.

Oh and another thing Lebron…you can quit it with the whole two head band thing…

everyone knows what’s up LBJ…

 

This is way more pathetic that Boozer drawing on his head with a sharpie.

 

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Is Lebron devastated that Dwight Howard is out-douching him?

April 6, 2012 Leave a comment

 

This has got to be a hard day for Lebron.  I mean he just has nothing left to hang his hat on.  He doesn’t have a championship.  Durant is going to win the MVP.  He isn’t even the go to guy with the game on the line for the Heat.  Being a complete and utter douche bag was his thing.  Now Dwight Howard has just ripped that title away from him.  I hate a lot of people, but there are varying levels of that hatred.  For instance, Tiger Woods…I regular-hate him.  Alex Burrows…I Lebron-hate Alex Burrows.  Lebron is the highest of measure for hatred, but I seriously need to rethink that because Dwight Howard is on a whole different level.

Howard just has zero redeeming qualities.  He has never improved his game.  He has quit on his team countless times.  Tells the front office to fire the coach.  Then denies it right after Van Gundy tells the media its true.  Then follows up the awk moment by completely bagging the game later that night.  At this point if I am the owner of the Magic I am telling Dwight to go home and trading him in the offseason.  It’s the NBA, his trade value is shit anyways so you aren’t hurting the team by sending him home.  The Magic have a chance to save a little bit of dignity and take a stand against the face of the cultural problem in the NBA.  They won’t do it though.  They’ll probably just fire Stan Van Gundy and tell Dwight that he can sleep with their wives as much as he wants if he will sign an extension.  It’s disgusting.

Lebron isn’t really a competitor and doesn’t care about being the best at anything, but his back is against the wall here.  He needs to fight for his rep, because that’s all he’s got.  Your move Lebron, your move.

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Joe Scarborough just gave Obama the ultimate slap in the face: Calls him Lebron

September 20, 2011 1 comment

(Newser) – Before delivering his fateful DNC keynote speech in 2004, Barack Obama offered this assessment of his political skills: “I’m LeBron, baby. I can play on this level. I got some game.” These days, that’s looking like a prescient statement: “Barack Obama is LeBron James,” writes Joe Scarborough of Politico. “Like King James, the president was blessed early with a remarkable set of skills,” but the two “are now bound not by greatness, but by their own collapse when the klieg lights burned brightest.” “Like James … Obama always slips to the side of the court when his teammates need him the most,” Scarborough writes, saying the historians he’s asked can’t remember a president more deferential to Congress. Obama, for example, said the stimulus was all-important, yet “allowed Nancy Pelosi (see also Dwayne Wade) to carry the entire load.” The story has been the same on health care, the debt commission, and more. When Democrats need Obama, he disappears. Why? “He’s LeBron, baby.”

I am not going to comment on the validity of this comparison…but I LOVE how calling someone Lebron is now like the worst possible thing a guy can say about somebody.  That’s how much a bitch Lebron is.  If someone called me the Lebron James of blogging to my face I’d probably punch that guy square in the nose.  Obama can’t let people just run his name through the mud like this.  If Scarborough wants to call him a failure, a joke, a rookie, unqualified, a socialist, a communist, a marxist, a muslim, a black supremacist, the anti-christ, a puppet, or Chinese…that’s fine.  But to call the American Commander-In-Chief Lebron James is way over the line.

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Lebron being Lebron…again.

August 23, 2011 1 comment

 

 

Just typical Lebron here.  Its crunch time up on that diving board and he just pusses out and defers to a teammate.  Then he finally jumps and is waving his arms like a little girl. D-Rose would have jumped up to the top platform, then would have done three back flips and ended it with the greatest cannon ball the world has ever seen.  Just soaking everyone in Spain.  Then he would just float to the surface and walk across to the side and Spanish babes would be lining up to give him a towel.  That’s what being an MVP is all about though.

 

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Lebron being Lebron.

August 15, 2011 4 comments

If you were wondering what Lebron James was doing this summer while the NBA was still locked out, he is just doing what he always does…dribbling all nonchalant like he doesn’t give a shit, so little Asian kid picks his pocket then jams in his face.  Lebron, all embarrassed, races down the floor out of control, travels(doesn’t get called) and then he throws the ball away.  No wonder LBJ doesn’t want to play abroad. 

 

PS: No word on if this was in the 4th quarter or not.

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There is a God

June 16, 2011 Leave a comment

Call it Karma, a higher power, or whatever you want, but clearly there is a God…and he is a sports fan.  The NHL and NBA Finals proved this beyond a doubt.  Two teams who cried, flopped, took cheap shots, and were led by fraudulent superstars made it all the way the championship series before God stepped in and said enough is enough.  The Universe wouldn’t allow teams like the Miami Heat and the Vancouver Canucks to win a championship. There were times these series where I thought I was watching the sequels to “Angels in the Outfield”.  Dirk’s improbable shots going in. Thomas’s improbable saves.  It was amazing.  The Bruins and the Mavericks saved America.

These Finals showed the world two “superstars” who have no class and no character.  Lebron James and Roberto Luongo.  So similar in so many ways.  Epic failures define their careers.  Former captains who just completely and utterly failed their teams, their cities, and themselves on the biggest stages possible.  They are basically the same person.  They are…LuBrongo.  I’d love Lubrongo to become like an urban dictionary definition of an epic failure.

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Turns out LeBron James Sucks After All

June 10, 2011 2 comments

Last night was amazing.  The Heat are a joke.  Lebron has to be the worst “superstar” in the history of the NBA.  This shouldn’t surprise anyone.  Lebron has sucked all along.  He flat out quit on the Cavs last year because the Celtics were too tough on him.  Then this performance in the NBA Finals has sealed his legacy in my mind forever.  I don’t care if he wins 10 championships, he will always suck.  People were so quick to crown him as the greatest of all time.  ESPN is a joke.  Yeah he hit a few big three pointers against the Celtics and Bulls, but guess what…Robert Horry has hit clutch shots in the playoffs, he isn’t the greatest of all time.  Lebron is a quitter and a loser.  Last night was the perfect opportunity to assert himself as a superstar and leader with Dwayne Wade missing so many minutes with a bruise, but he failed. 

The Heat are so smug and arrogant.  That’s why everyone in America hates them.  I couldn’t believe when I saw them mocking Dirk for being sick after he kicked their ass when he was sick.  Hey Lebron, just because Dirk scored like triple the points you did, doesn’t mean that he wasn’t sick.  It means he’s a leader and you’re a loser.  Last night proved that if Dwayne Wade isn’t superman, then the Heat can’t win because they don’t have another leader on the team.  I hope Dallas finishes off the Heat in Miami.  The Heat don’t deserve a championship and neither do their fans.

The Mavs are America’s team and are truly a team.  Getting big time contributions from Kidd, Marion, Terry, and led by superstar Dirk Nowitzki.  Tyson Chandler is giving the Mavs defense and rebounding.  The Bulls used to have a guy named Tyson Chandler back in the day.  Top 5 draft pick.  That guy was a total bust.  Man did he suck.  Whatever happened to that guy?

I picked the Heat and the under in my Locks of the Century yesterday. “Taking the Heat on the moneyline at -105, Heat against the spread, and the under…which of course means the Mavs probably win a shootout, and I wouldn’t mind a bit.” Well, wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly what happened.  Haven’t looked at the lines for Game 6, but you can bet I am going back to the Heat well again if it means a Dallas Mavericks win.  You’re welcome America.

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Lock of the Century: NBA Finals Game 5 Edition

June 9, 2011 2 comments

Miami Heat +1 @ Dallas Mavericks -1

I’ll be the first to admit that my NBA Finals Locks of the Century haven’t been the greatest. Costa Rica is kicking my ass in this battle.  Taking Miami in every game has burned me.  Miami is really underachieving, Lebron in particular.  All of these losses are making me feel like the Gambling Gods are trying to punish me by picking and therefore, rooting(kind of) for the Heat.  Well jokes on you Gambling Gods. I’d gladly lose money everyday if it meant that the Heat would be denied a Championship.  So, having said that…give me the Heat.  Lebron is not going to be held to 8 points again.  He has been out-scored by the Boston Bruins 12-8 in the last three days.  No way that trend continues.  Even with Lebron struggling, the Heat have still been in every game.  I think Lebron takes over today and has a huge game.  Proving that he is more fueled by what other people say about him than by winning championships.  He really needs extra motivation?  Jordan would have dominated the Mavs in an empty gym in Siberia because all he cared about was winning.  Lebron takes games off in the middle of the NBA Finals.  Thats the only argument I need.

Over/Under Total Points 184

Every game has been in the 80s and I don’t anticipate that changing now.  The games have been slow, not a ton of possessions and both teams have been bringing in on the defensive end of the court.  88-84 Heat win tonight.  Taking the Heat on the moneyline at -105, Heat against the spread, and the under…which of course means the Mavs probably win a shootout, and I wouldn’t mind a bit.

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Sweet Game Lebron

June 8, 2011 2 comments

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you
You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this blog is about you
Don’t you? don’t you?

Where is Scottie Pippen now?  Lebron sucks.  I always knew it.  Even when I said he was great I also said he sucked.  He is who we thought he was.  In the biggest game of his life and with an opportunity to put a strangle hold on the NBA finals, Lebron James stat line for the night read as 8 points, 8 rebounds, and 7 assists.  Way to come through in the clutch “King James”, really Jordanesque.  Lebron couldn’t even shut down Jason Terry who had his best game of the series with 17 points.  Meanwhile, Dirk Nowitzki is just doing his thing.  Hitting game winners, fighting off the flu, and trying to save America from the Heat. 

Lebron is a loser. Plain and simple.  The Heat should have swept the Mavericks, but Lebron making dumb decisions in game 2 and disappearing in game 4 is the reason why this series is knotted up at 2 games a piece.  I picked Miami in 5 as my lock of the century, but now that is out the window and I am free to root for America’s team.  The Havana Heat are dead to me.  Go Mavs.

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Lock of the Century: NBA Finals Game 4

June 7, 2011 Leave a comment

Miami Heat +3 @ Dallas Mavericks -3

My heart says Dallas, but my head says Miami.  Lebron James had 17 points in Game 3 and Miami still won.  All of these Heat playoff series are playing out the exact same way.  Hard fought throughout the first 40 minutes, then Miami’s talent and team athleticism just takes over in crunch time.  Miami learned their lesson in Game 2 that they can’t take their foot off the gas.  Look for Lebron to bounce back tonight and lead the Heat to a victory.  I am also all about omens. I am in Chicago and it is going to be 98 degrees here today.  Ignore signs like this at your own peril.  I like Miami in against the spread, against the moneyline and I also like the over in total 3pt field goals made. The war against the Costa Rican economy continues. I want the same citizenship medal that Obama gave Bill Russell when this thing is all said and done.

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