You hear that Obama? Ninja Bears. Now the whole country is in jeopardy. Everyone is all freaked out about Iran getting nukes, this fucking sicko Kony guy, and Mexican drug lords and shit when Vlady Putin is just ignoring term limits, rigging elections, making a hot girl army, and training a squadron of Ninja Bears. I watched the National Geographic show about Putin last week and the guy is downright diabolical. He wanted the candidate he supported to win the Presidency of Ukraine. When it became apparent that his guy was going to lose leading up the election, Putin just poisoned the other candidate right in everyone’s face.
That before and after poison shots was taken two weeks apart. The guy lived somehow and looking ugly as shit, he continued his campaign. So…Putin just stole the entire election. So yeah, there are a lot of problems out there but the very last guy I want to tangle with is Putin. We’ll be working in gulags so fast it’ll make your head spin.
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