Posts Tagged ‘Jonathan Toews’

THIS IS HOCKEY!!! A must watch YouTube NHL

December 28, 2011 Leave a comment

“I don’t care how popular the NHL is. I love hockey and you love it and that’s enough for me. It’s a beautiful, addictive game that is immune to extinction. It’s a way of life in Canada and it’s growing in the United States. It is the most intimate of games because it is the most emotional. The “smallness” of the game is its strength. The humility of most of the players, the bond that is found in every rink in North America and the sheer joy of skating on open, clean ice — that’s what makes hockey special.”-John Buccigross  


This five minute video combined with this short quote sum up almost all the reasons why I love hockey.  I truly feel bad for those who don’t “get it”.

PS: Could have done without the Burrows highlight in there.   Needed more of this…

Video of “adorable” girl with Brad Pitt picture

October 10, 2011 1 comment


This is exactly why I NEVER want daughters.  This chick is like 1 years-old and already drooling over Brad Pitt.  I don’t know what this dad is laughing about.  His daughter already knows what she wants.  The minute my toddler tells me that Brad Pitt is cute is the minute I tell her she is being home schooled until she is 30.


PS: Is Brad Pitt really that good looking?  I mean this girl is fawning over him like he’s Tom Brady or Jonathan Toews.


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Toews Teaching Youngsters a valuable lesson…pick your head up pussy

September 14, 2011 2 comments

Get a load of this pussy.  There’s no crying in hockey.  Toews just put you on your wallet because you were staring down the puck.  He gave you a free lesson, and you laid there like a bitch.  Totally pathetic.  There is a code in hockey, and that code is if you are hurt you scrape yourself up off the ice and get to the bench.  You don’t lay on the ice crying and begging for attention. Somebody get this kid a pair of soccer cleats immediately.

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David Toews to the Blackhawks…start cutting confetti!!!

September 9, 2011 Leave a comment


What’s the only thing better than one Toews on your team?…Answer: Having two Toews on your team!!! I have never seen David Toews play, but if he is half as good as his brother then he is the second best player in the NHL.  Stan Bowman is just making a mockery of the other 29 GMs.  Blackhawks dynasty set to commence.  Gas up the party busses.


PS: The Stanley Cup Parade needs to end at North Ave Beach this year.  Total booze fest beach party and they can put the stage on top of Castaways.  No Steeger to drop sick rhymes on us this time unfortunately so I think the Brothers Toews need to do “Boats & Hoes”.

PPS: Check out Sergeant Serious with the laser stare on the right in the top photo.


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Random Fan Confirms Jonathan Toews is Best Human on the Planet

August 29, 2011 1 comment


(ESPN Chicago)–

Jeff W (Buffalo Grove, IL

Hey Jesse, I have two separate groups of friends that hung out with Toews at Lolla a few weeks back, and both groups, completely independent of one another, said he could not have been a nicer guy. He wasn’t drinking, and he wasn’t acting like a buffoon. I find it so refreshing to hear that the public persona of Captain Serious is legitimate and translates to his private life…


Nothing too surprising here.  Wouldn’t expect to hear anything different Toews.  Just your typical Captain, Stanley Cup Champ, Gold Medal winner, Olympic MVP, Conn Smythe winner, Selke Finalist, stud, humble superstar.  Toews just does everything perfect, even interacting with us commoners.  I had a similar experience with him on New Year’s Eve 2010.  I bumped into him and other Blackhawks at the Hilton, we talked hockey for a good 10 minutes, and he was a great guy.  Gotta love Toews.


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Ugly people are the worst

August 16, 2011 7 comments

(Guardian)–Kate Moss, George Clooney, Natalie Portman or Cristiano Ronaldo may be many people’s ideas of dream dates, but pioneering research that combines economics with biology suggests they may not be perfect life partners. According to a study to be discussed this month at a gathering of Nobel prizewinners, people blessed with more symmetrical facial features, which are considered more attractive, are less likely to co-operate and more likely to selfishly focus on their own interests. Santiago Sanchez-Pages, who works at the universities of Barcelona and Edinburgh, and Enrique Turiegano, of the Universidad Autónoma de Madrid, base their claims on the “prisoner’s dilemma” model of behaviour, played out under laboratory conditions. Two players were each given the option of being a “dove” and co-operating for the greater good; or a “hawk”, taking the selfish option, with a chance of gaining more if the other player chose “dove” and co-operated. The subjects’ faces were then analysed. The study found that people with more symmetrical faces were less likely to co-operate and less likely to expect others to co-operate. The findings will be presented at the annual Nobel Laureate Meetings in Lindau, Germany, from 23 to 27 August.


Man, ugly people are the most jealous assholes around.  They are always just trying to make fun of, degrade, and stereotype hot people.  It’s really unfair.  Hot people are constantly being discriminated against by the fuglies. We always just brushed it off as “that ugly person is mean and rude, but it’s really because they are jealous of our hotness”.  They can call me stupid and laugh at me all they want, but at the end of the day my face is symmetrical and their’s isn’t.  It must suck to suck.  Ugly people are trying to step up their game up though.  They got all smartest ugly people together in a room and did a study to prove that people with the hotness are selfish, mean, conceited assholes.  Ugly Nobel Prize winners, who have been jealous their entire lives, have a 4 day presentation proving that we are bad humans.  I was mildly concerned that ugly people might use their science and facts against us until I realized that their “study” was so typical ugly people that it doesn’t even count.  Hmm, should I choose to sit back and let other people make decisions for me or should I take charge and make sure I get what I want?  Only ugly losers would choose option A.  The most pathetic part of this study was when they “analyzed” the faces to see which ones were hot.  Sorry uglies…you can’t plug hotness into a computer.  Hotness is something you feel in your balls.  If you need a study or a computer to figure out if a girl is hot…you yourself aren’t hot. 

If getting your own way, partying, and having people give you stuff is hot, then I don’t want to be ugly. 

PS: to counter act the nastiness of the ugly pictures above I have put some images down below for your viewing pleasure.

and of course…


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REPORT: ESPN Confirms Blackhawks will win the next 10 Stanley Cups

August 12, 2011 Leave a comment

(ESPN Insider)

4. Chicago Blackhawks

The Blackhawks saw Nick Leddy (16th overall, 2009; acquired from the Wild) make the jump to the NHL roster last season and he may soon be joined by Mark McNeill (18th overall, 2011), who has size, skill and a solid head for the game. He’s a scorer who plays both ends of the rink in a responsible fashion. They had to sell off most of their cap-strapped Cup-winning team, but adding picks year after year is starting to pay off for the Blackhawks.
Also on the radar: Phillip Danault (26th overall, 2011) and Brandon Saad (43rd overall, 2011).

Total number of top prospects: 14


Well there you have it, ESPN confirms the Blackhawks are going to just dominate the shit out of the NHL for at least the next decade.  Number 4 in the NHL in prospects already? Are you kidding me? A complete rebuild of the farm system took about 14 months.  Stan Bowman is playing chess and the other 29 teams are playing hungry hungry hippos.  This is going to be one hell of a decade.  The Blackhawks are already LOADED with young talent on the big club and Marty Havlat confirmed in an interview that every single player in the NHL openly pines to play in Chicago.  The three teams ranked ahead of the Blackhawks are 1)Florida 2) Edmonton 3) Ottawa…congratulations, those guys should have their prospect pool ranked that high since they basically take turns owning the #1 overall pick.  In case you were worried about aging rivals Vancouver and San Jose competing the with Blackhawks in the future…don’t. Those teams are ranked 29th, and 30th respectively. Start cutting confetti and keep the party buses gassed up.


PS:  There seems to be some confusion about me on twitter.  Some people think that I am either A) a chick or B) gay.  Neither of which are true.  Having said that…Toews is straight hot hot fire in the picture above.


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Toews Just Blew Smoke In Cutler’s Eye

July 25, 2011 2 comments

While Jay Cutler was probably moping around about losing out on Kristin Cavallari(As opposed to just his regular moping), Jonathan Toews shows up to Wrigley with a smoke on his arm.  Shot across Jay Cutler’s bow for sure.

Toews’ girlfriend is Gabrielle Valasquez I guess.  Never heard of her, but she is really hot.  I would never be able to talk to that girl.  Having said that…I don’t think she is hot enough for Toews.  Jonathan Toews is a stud.  Captain+Chicago+Stanley Cup+Conn Smythe+Gold Medal+Olympics MVP+Movie Star Good Looks=That he should be wheeling Doutzen Krous or some A-list chick.

PS: Toews owns Chicago.  Best athlete in the city and shows up in the summer to Wrigley wearing Bears hat. That sentence got me hard.  Hockey season can’t get here fast enough. Gas up the party trolleys.


PPS: UPDATE, just found out that Doutzen Kroes had a baby so looks like Toews probably already met her…or at least made eye contact with her. Pretty sure that’s all it takes for him.

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Top 5 All-Time Chicago Sports Stars

July 14, 2011 Leave a comment

So ESPN is going to do this thing where they list the top 5 sports figures from every major sports town.  Blowhard Mike Wilbon is in charge of spitting out Chicago’s list…and per usual he totally messed it up.  He just tried to sound smarter than everyone by putting old guys in there that he has never laid eyes on like Red Grange.  I am sure Red Grange was great and was very important to the foundation of the NFL, but that was so long ago that I think he may have even played for the Decator Bears.  He can’t be on this list.  Wilbon also talks about Grange like the NFL wouldn’t exist without him. I find that basically impossible to believe.  The NFL is the shit.  No way one guy from 1924 made it that way by himself.  Wilbon also had Ditka, Payton, Jordan, and I want to say Gale Sayers rounding out his top 5.  Total failure.  Here is the correct list.

1.  Michael Jordan– Obviously. The greatest athlete of all-time has to be the greatest Chicago sports figure of all-time too.

2. Walter Payton– I never saw Sweetness play live because he retired when I was like 3 years old, but real recognize real.  I have seen enough highlights to know that he was the greatest running back who ever lived.

3. Mike Ditka– Hall of fame Tight End as a player, Superbowl Champion Coach, a mustache that would make Wyatt Earp jealous, and an all around bad ass.  Ditka is a winner and an icon.  Has to be on this list.

4. Bobby Hull– The Golden Jet was the best player of his era.  Scored a ton of goals, drank a ton of beers, and won a Stanley Cup.

5. Jonathan Toews– This is a bit of a futures play, Toews still has some work to do, but the guy has already won practically everything possible.  Toews is the perfect hockey player and an absolute stud.


Scottie Pippen may have made this list if he wasn’t such a traitor and/or moron.

Ernie Banks may have made this list if he actually won something…but like all other Cubs…he hasn’t.

Dick Butkus probably should be on here…but I can’t take anyone off of this list, so he can be number 6.

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