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Posts Tagged ‘Jay Cutler’

Bears Should Bench Cutler for tonight

August 22, 2011 Leave a comment

 

You know how many snaps Jay Cuter should take tonight…ZERO.  Last time the Bears played the Giants, they had 9 sacks…9!!! The Bears offensive line somehow got worse in the off-season. And by somehow, I mean it got worse because Jerry Angelo is a moron.  The Bears just got absolutely dominated by the Buffalo Bills last week and the Giants pass rush is about a billion times better than the Bills’.  The only way for Cutler to survive this game is to let him watch from the sidelines.

 

PS: You know Mike Martz would love nothing more than to have Caleb Hanie start this game against the Giants’ starting defense.  Martz HATES Caleb Hanie.  He could probably send him to the morgue by playing him in this one.  Then he can just make out with Enderle on the sidelines and tell everyone how great he is blah blah blah.

 

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Bears vs Bills Preseason Recap: At least Cutler’s knee looks healthy

August 15, 2011 Leave a comment

 

 

Yikes…that was a rough way to start the preseason.  Rich Eisen of the NFL Network summed it up perfectly when he said “Cutler got a chance to show everyone that his knee is healthy, because he was running for his life”.  Shawn Merriman and rookie DT Marcell Dareus absolutely destroyed the new-look Bears offensive line.  The Bears gave up 9 sacks in the first preseason game.  Not all of those sacks came against the Bears’ starters, but enough of them did and it seemed as though Cutler was constantly being pressured.  I don’t want to be the “sky is falling” type of fan…but the Bears are in for a long season.  Winning the division with the NFL’s 30th ranked offense and the league’s worst offensive line is a statistical anomaly, not something Bear fans should expect to have repeated. 

The biggest positive for the Bears, as is often the case, was special teams.  Johnny Knox was dynamic in the return game and the Bears shouldn’t miss departed safety/returner Daniel Manning.  Having said that, the new kick off rules are going to have a HUGE negative impact on the Bears.  With teams now kicking off from the 35 yard-line, teams are going to be kicking it through the endzone almost every time.  Taking the Bears’ field position advantage away.  The offense will now have to travel 80 yards to score on the vast majority of their possessions.  Nothing is lining up for the Bears this season. 

Angelo needs to go, Martz needs to go, and the Bears need a culture shock to the organization. 

 

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Rex Grossman doing his best Jay Cutler impression

August 8, 2011 1 comment

 

Jesus Christ!!! Rex Grossman got effing FAT.  Didn’t Mike Shannahan bench McNabb last year because of his “conditioning level”.  Well…jokes on you because you traded a fat quarterback who was once good and are going to start a fat quarterback who has always sucked.  I think Rex is really just trying to show the Bears that he wants to be their QB by trying to get Jay Cutler’s body.

 

PS: All jokes aside, Jay Cutler is looking cut up this camp.  The guy obviously put work in this summer.  Nothing like getting in shape for a wedding/getting in shape because you just broke up with your girlfriend to get you ready for the season.  He looks like he is at about 2% body fat and ready to rock and roll in year two of the Martz system.

 

 

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Don’t Quote Me On This, But There Is A 200% Chance Kristen Cavallari Reads My Blog

July 25, 2011 1 comment

(Chicago)–If a tweet by entertainment reporter Billy Bush is to believed, the engagement between Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and reality TV star Kristin Cavallari is off. Bush, a reporter with “Access Hollywood,” tweeted the news early Sunday morning from what he called, “a super-tight source.” Grizzly Detail has not independently confirmed the report, and shares skepticism with The Big Lead writers who similarly couched their report. Cutler and Cavallari have been dating since they met early last season, and since the two got together, Cutler has been covered by TMZ as much as ESPN. Just this month they announced that they had set a wedding date for July 7, 2012.

Ok…if there was any ever doubt that hot girls like Kristin Cavallari read this blog, those doubts have now been put to rest permanently.  Last week I said: “PPS:  How the hell did Cutler land Cavallari?  I know he is an NFL QB and everything, but Cutler doesn’t exactly look like Tom Brady.  If it was possible for an NFL QB to outkick his coverage, Cutler totally did it.”  Well…looks like I really got through to Kristin Cavallari because the wedding is now off.  I mean just look at the pictures above.  Cutler is a soft 4 on a 1-10 scale in the celebrity world and Kristin is a hard 9.  Too big of a gap to make up.  I feel kind of bad for ending an engagement.  But lets be honest, that marriage was never going to last.  Saved my quarterback a lot of time and heart ache.  She was clouds in his coffee.  Now he can find a girl that’s not a celebrity who is hotter than Cavallari and he becomes an 8 because of his NFL status.  You can thank me later Jay.

 

PS: Jay Cutler couldn’t be reached for comment, but I think we can all assume his direct quote will be “uhhh, whatever…”

PPS: Kristin…I know you dig my bloggerswag, contact me.

PPPS: Kristin Cavallari isn’t even that hot…for a celebrity.

 

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Hello Mrs. Cutler

July 19, 2011 1 comment

Football season can’t get here fast enough.  We have an entire season  of crowd shots of Kristin Cavallari to look forward to.  Win or lose, Chicago still wins.  I don’t know who Matthew Stafford or Aaron Rodgers is dating, but they aren’t as hot as Mrs Cutler. Bear down.

PS:  I got SOOO excited when I read the headlines about Kristin Cavallari’s “glass bikini”.  Glass implies see-through.  This was a total tease.  Not cool Kristin. You owe me one.  Paris Hilton style sex tape better get leaked within the year.

PPS:  How the hell did Cutler land Cavallari?  I know he is an NFL QB and everything, but Cutler doesn’t exactly look like Tom Brady.  If it was possible for an NFL QB to outkick his coverage, Cutler totally did it.

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Super Bears…Superbowl: I want TWO Bad-Ass Receivers

July 14, 2011 Leave a comment

Arm chair GM super fans are probably going to kill me for this, but I don’t care.  I want Plaxico Burress AND Randy Moss.  Randy Moss’s agent said in an interview with nfl.com “He is determined, motivated and quite frankly has a huge chip on his shoulder. Whatever team ends up getting Randy, they’re going to know they’re getting the old Randy Moss. He’s not just coming in to be on the team, he’s going to be Randy Moss — a difference maker.” His agent also described Moss as being in “freakish shape” from working out like a mad man.  Yeah Moss is a total headcase, yeah last season was an absolute disaster, yeah he is 34 years old, but Randy Moss is still the most talented Wide Receiver in the history of the NFL.  Tom Brady and Bill Belichick both called Randy Moss the most intelligent guy they had ever worked with.  That’s good enough for me.  Give Cutler Burress and Moss and tell the NFC to get the fuck out of the way.  STRAIGHT CASH HOMIE

 

 

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