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Posts Tagged ‘Jackson Harris’

I NEED this GTar thing. Guitar that lets you play any song with an iPhone

May 22, 2012 Leave a comment

 

My twin Jackson Harris has got to be just shaking his boots right now.  For the past year this guy has been running around the country melting chicks with my face and a guitar.  Girls just drooling all over him.  Do you know how many groupies I have thanks to this blog…ZERO.  It’s not fair that he has to beat girls away with a stick while I am having to fire on any chick that moves hoping some lucky girl makes the biggest mistake of her life.  Why should he have all the fun?  I mean the only thing separating us is talent and years of hard work.  That’s it.  I am sure I could have been a great musician if I wasn’t too busy building a blog empire from scratch.  Now I don’t have to choose.  I can pretend to be a great blogger AND a great musician. Just going to get me a GTar and start slaying chicks with the face God bestowed upon Jackson Harris.  So sorry Jackson, but it’s a dog eat dog world.  There just isn’t enough room for two immensely gifted musicians with the same GQ face.  Don’t worry though. I am sure you will have a long and prosperous career doing birthday parties and bar mitzvahs as my impersonator.

 

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The old…”no that wasn’t me it was my evil twin” defense turns out to be true

(SIGNAL MOUNTAIN, TN) – Mitch Torbett says it was his twin brother police were looking for. He spent two days in the slammer before he was finally able to convince them of their mistake. Torbett was arrested on Signal Mountain for a federal charge. He was jailed for nearly two days before authorities realized they were mistaking him for his dead twin brother. Torbett is working with an attorney to file a civil suit against the Signal Mountain Police Department and the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office. He was arrested last week for a federal crime his identical twin brother allegedly committed in Louisiana before he died two years ago. “If they would’ve trusted me, if they would’ve given me the benefit of the doubt, if they would’ve done that, none of this would’ve happened,” Mitch Torbett says. Torbett says it all started when applying for a construction permit with Signal Mountain. “After running my driver’s license, said perhaps I had a federal warrant for my arrest,” Torbett says. Mitch Torbett told police the federal warrant had to be linked to his identical twin who died two years ago. Signal Mountain Police Chief Boyd Veal declined an interview, but says the warrant had Mitch’s name on it, so they did their part by arresting him and turning the case over to the FBI.

This is probably the first time in history when somebody blaming a crime on their evil twin brother turned out to be true.  I love this story.  Honestly, couldn’t have happened at a better time for me.  Last week after I posted those pictures of Obama and his college girlfriend Vanity Fair went all hard style on me.  Had their legal team send me a formal cease and desist letter.  They claimed I stole their Intellectual Property and that I could face fines and prison time if I didn’t take it down.  Well guess what Vanity Fair…those pictures are going back up because now I have a fool-proof defense.  “It wasn’t me your honor.  I swear it was my evil twin who posted those pictures.  Jackson Harris is the guilty man.  I am just a patsy“…and boom I am off free.  Then while Jackson is rotting in some jail cell, I will just take over his sky rocketing music career.  It’s the perfect crime.

 

 

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Should I hate my twin Jackson Harris?

April 26, 2012 1 comment

 

Reader Email:

Hi Chief,

 

That girl from twitter was right, your resemblance to Jackson Harris is uncanny.  A couple of babes ;-).  I thought you’d appreciate this Jackson Harris parody of your jam “Boyfriend”.  Enjoy.

 

xoxo,

Chelsea

 

Thanks for the email Chelsea.  You thought I’d appreciate that parody by my twin huh?  I’ve got news for you…no actually I don’t appreciate it. If Jackson Harris wants to go all over the country singing songs and slaying chicks with my face…that’s fine.  Good for him.  However, I draw the line at him being funny too.  If this bro is ruggedly handsome, famous, musically gifted, and funny, he is basically leaving me with nothing.  Like throw me a bone dude.  You can’t be the better looking, more talented, AND funnier version of me.  It’s just not fair.  This video has left me with a big time inferiority complex vs myself.  Twin rivalry.  This guy is making me look like Danny Devito. Eff off Jackson Harris.

 

 

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Is this rising pop sensation heart throb Jackson Harris my twin?

April 25, 2012 3 comments

Reader Tweet

Look it, I realize that it would be pretty arrogant for me to tell everyone that I look exactly like this Jackson Harris bro.  I mean he was just named to OK Magazine’s sexiest singles list and he has girls swooning all over him.  Having said that…we totally look exactly alike.  Just a doppelganger like you read about. It’s like looking in a mirror.  I guess Jackson Harris took the Bieber route to fame.  Started putting songs out on YouTube and then just let his striking good looks take him the rest of the way.  Career still trending upwards.  Kinda similar career paths between Harris and myself too.  I mean I started putting out blogs on the internet almost a year ago.  So I mean it’s only a matter of time before OK Magazine asks me to be featured in their sexiest singles issue.  OK Magazine, I humbly accept your future offer to be on the cover of your “Sexiest Singles” issue.

PS: I guess this Jackson Harris guy has been linked to Carlie Butler.

Being my twin has clearly been good to Jackson Harris

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