(Forbes)–To compile our list of America’s most dangerous cities, we used the FBI’s uniform crime report for 2010, which tallies crime data for each of the country’s metropolitan statistical areas, regions that usually consist of a large city and its suburbs or clusters of closely linked smaller cities, and metropolitan divisions, which are core areas within some of the larger MSAs. Because small fluctuations in crime numbers can produce outsize jumps in rates in smaller metropolitan areas, we looked at MSAs with a population of 200,000 or more. We used the FBI’s numbers for four categories of violent crimes: murder and non-negligent manslaughter; forcible rape; robbery; and aggravated assault. It’s commonly expected that crime will rise as economic conditions worsen, but that hasn’t been the case in the U.S. – violent crime has fallen for the past four years. In 2010, murder was down 4%, rape fell 5%, robbery dropped 10%, and aggravated assault fell 4%, according to the FBI. “There’s a complex series of forces at work behind these rates,” says Tom Blomberg, dean of the College of Criminology and Criminal Justice at Florida State Univeristy. “The state of the economy, demographics, the number of young males at any given time, the rate of imprisonment and the number of police all factor in.”
Ok, so everyone already knew Detroit was the worst city in America, but I didn’t know it was the most dangerous. At least Detroit has that going for them. So here is the real question. Is Jay Cutler more likely to get killed on the field by Suh or by walking down the streets of Detroit?
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(NPR)–Imagine a city like Los Angeles disappearing from the map completely. That’s exactly what happened to Chaohu, a city in eastern China’s Anhui province with a similar population — about 4 million. The people have remained, but the city has vanished in an administrative sleight of hand. That was the Kafkaesque reality for Chaohu’s inhabitants, who went to bed one night and woke up the morning of Aug. 22 to find out that their city no longer existed. For many, their first inkling that something had changed was from the local news. “Anhui province is today announcing the cancellation of Chaohu city,” the broadcast said. It went on to explain that the city once known as Chaohu had been divided into three. The nearby cities of Hefei, Wuhu and Ma’anshan each absorbed a piece of territory. The broadcast confusingly described the move as “an inherent need at a certain level of economic growth.”
Goddamn, China is so smart. I mean deleting cities…effing brilliant China. That’s the kinda problem solving we will never get out of Washington. We got debt crisis coming out of our ass. You know how to get out of paying for cities…just delete them. Wipe them right off the map. If Obama knew what the fuck he was doing he would just delete cities so fast it would make our heads spin. First city to be deleted should be either Detroit or Cleveland. Nobody wants to live there anyways. Nobody has ever gone on vacation there. All of their teams suck. Seriously, I don’t even think anybody would notice after a couple weeks. Total after thought. So come on Obama, its an election year. Take a page out of the Chinese playbook. Just wipe Detroit and Cleveland off the map. Its easy…look—>
Herman Cain is coming for your ass Obama. Get it together. Delete those cities. YES WE CAN!!!!
PS: After looking at that Map of Ohio, we might as well delete all of their cities. Akron…sucks, Toledo…sucks, Youngstown…sucks. Columbus…sucks. Cincinnati…you’re ok…I like your chili.
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(Denver Post)–University of Colorado researchers sampling the winter air in four Midwestern cities say the bacterial colonies found in Cleveland and Detroit most closely resemble that found in dog poop. In their study, published July 29 in “Applied and Environmental Microbiology,” the researchers compared the DNA of collected bacteria to a database of bacteria from known sources such as leaf surfaces, soil, and human, cow and dog feces. “We found unexpectedly high bacterial diversity in all of our samples, but to our surprise the airborne bacterial communities of Detroit and Cleveland most closely resembled those communities found in dog poop,” said lead author Robert Bowers, a graduate student in CU’s ecology and evolutionary biology department and the Cooperative Institute for Research in Environmental Sciences, or CIRES, based at CU. “This suggests that dog poop may be a potential source of bacteria to the atmosphere at these locations.”
Hey science community, hate to break it to you, but everyone already knows Cleveland and Detroit smell like shit. This is like the week of pointless studies. The U football program cheats?!?!?….NO…that can’t be!!! Ugly people are jealous of hot people….GASP!!! Cleveland smells like shit!?!…well knock me over with a feather. I can’t confirm this story first hand because I would NEVER be caught dead in Cleveland, but I’ll take Joakim Noah’s word for it. Nobody has ever gone to Cleveland on vacation…and I guess it’s because it smells like shit.
PS: Where did Cleveland go wrong? I feel like they are the bizarro world Chicago. Both are in the midwest, both were built up and flourished during the industrial revolution, both are on the Great Lakes, and yet they are now complete opposites. Chicago is the greatest city in the world, and Cleveland is probably the worst. Chicago easily could have turned into Cleveland, but they nipped that problem in the bud. Took all of our shit parts, gave them to Indiana, and changed their name to Gary.
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