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Mid 20s Dating Guide: What Would Bieber Do

September 27, 2011 1 comment

(MTV)–Justin Bieber may only be 17, but the kid has crazy mature boyfriend skills when it comes to doing special things for his girl Selena Gomez. Case in point: The dynamic duo went out for a decent-enough date on Friday night to see Gomez’s pal Demi Lovato play a show at the Nokia Theatre in downtown Los Angeles. Then, according to TMZ, he surprised Gomez after the concert with an even bigger show right next door at the Staples Center, the 20,000-seat home of the Los Angeles Lakers. After 11 p.m., Bieber told Gomez, “follow me,” and the pair walked through an underground tunnel that connects the two arenas. As they walked into the empty building, all Gomez saw was a table for two set up on the floor with a steak and pasta dinner from the venue’s fancy restaurant, the Lexus Club. The major date was inspired by a scene in the Adam Sandler flick “Mr. Deeds,” in which Sandler’s character surprises his love interest, Winona Ryder, with a date for two at Madison Square Garden. After the superstar couple’s meal, things got even more romantic when “Titanic” began playing on a screen in the arena. According to reports, Bieber got the venue for free as a thank-you from the bosses at Staples for his string of three previous sell-outs there. After making things way harder for his fellow man with his big-balling gesture, Biebs had a message for all the dudes out there who aren’t pulling their weight when it comes to the chivalry department. “Romance isn’t dead,” he tweeted after his date. “Treat your lady right fellas.” Easy for you to say, dude.

 

Un-fricken-believable Bieber!!! What a god damn boss this kid is.  I used to rag on him relentlessly…out of pure jealously.  Like, chicks go nuts for this kid.  Chicks of all ages.  I never understood it.  He weighs like 80 pounds, yet he pulls dimes like Selena Gomez on the reg.  I was baffled.  However, I can’t deny this kid’s swag anymore.

This kid makes me and every other guy on earth look like a chump.  I mean I try to come up with fun dates, and go to fancy restaurants, just to try and get to first base with some girl I have probably been wearing down for months.  Biebs just gets the keys to the Staple Center to watch a movie.  I am sure trying to get laid after Titanic with your mom upstairs is probably a pain in the ass, so Biebs just went off sight.  Titanic at the Staple Center is romantic as hell.  Who wouldn’t get all weak in the knees for this kid.

So now whenever I am thinking of a date like a stupid private dance class, or apple picking, or some gay shit like that I’ll think to myself “Would The Biebs do this?” and if I answer NO to that question I will go back to the drawing board.  I am going to be following this kid’s every move looking for dating tips.  The kid has obviously forgotten more about wheeling chicks than I will ever know.

 

 

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Mid 20s Dating Guide: Chicks trying to get you wifed up

September 20, 2011 1 comment

 

Stay strong bro, stay strong.  The kid is right…this girl can’t yell at him because she isn’t the boss…but the second you get married…she 100% is the boss.  I mean, I wouldn’t want to marry this chick either. I mean this is how she is before the marriage, imagine what she is going to be like once this guy is all locked up.  This is the danger of Mid 20s dating.  You date a girl for a few months and next thing you know you are over at her house and she has wedding magazines all over the coffee table with pages marked.  Obviously the first instinct here would be to run…but then you realize you’ll have to go without regular sex. So you pretend that you can avoid the whole situation and press the ejector button at the last second.  Which is nearly impossible.  So a  few more months go by and your girl has worn you down to the point where you’ll do anything to stop that yelling and nagging. Before you know…you are standing at the altar wondering where you went wrong.  It’s too late at that point though. You’re done.  Which is why I have so much respect for this kid.  He flat out refused to hear about marriage. He wouldn’t even look at her. He even tried to get his mom to reason with this broad.  So he went with the big guns.  The old Costanza move. He turned on the water works.  Good move guy.  Good move.

 

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