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They are who we thought they were: Canucks are AWFUL

June 9, 2011 51 comments

I am not going to sit here and say I told you so, but I totally did.  The Canucks are a joke.  The softest team in the league. Unworthy of being in the Stanley Cup Finals.  The Canucks are a classic “fake tough” team.  They will push you and try to get under your skin by diving, chirping, biting, throwing head shots, and complaining.  If you stand up to them and push back at them they will completely crumble.  The Bruins took it to the Canucks physically and they whimpered away. 

NHL Network was really rushing to the defense of the Canucks last night. “Kesler must be hurt. Luongo has vertigo. Burrows is menstruating, blah blah blah”.  Truth of the matter is that this is just who the Canucks are.  They are a group of cowards who barely beat an injury depleted Blackhawks team in a rebuilding year. They just suck. 

Now I even think Vancouver is delusional.  Bieksa called Tim Thomas “leaky” in the post game and said that they were showing him too much respect.  Yeah, real leaky goalie in net for the Bruins.  The Canucks have scored under 2 goals in three of the 4 games and on top of that Thomas has more hits in the series than the Sedin Sisters combined.  Showing him too much respect? How, by trying to slash the stick out of his hand and running him every chance they get?  Burrows even tried to fight Thomas.  Who fights a goalie?  Burrows is pathetic. 

The only chance the Canucks have to salvage this series is to start Cory Schneider, but even the Boston native Schneider sounded like he wanted to part of the Bruins. “None of the goals were Roberto’s fault. He deserves to be in there for game 5.” Come on now, Cory.  You went to Phillips Andover and graduated from BC with honors in 3 years, you’re smarter than that.  Luongo’s legs were more open than Lindsay Lohan’s on the Peverly goal.  Ryder’s shot looked like a peewee shot it.  The only goal that wasn’t on Luongo was Peverly’s second goal.  Other than that Luongo was responsible.  Maybe Schneider doesn’t want to alienate his hometown team. Maybe he is afraid of the Bruins.  Maybe he is just as delusional as the rest of teammates.

This series is over.  I originally predicted the Bruins winning in 7 games, but now I don’t think it will take that long.  Long live the Original 6.  AMERICA.

 

PS I love Milbury in between periods.  Calls the Canucks “smug and arrogant” during game 3 and has the line of the year when he referred to the Sedin Sisters as “Thelma and Louise”. Just perfect. If NBC could replace Pierre McGuire with Darren Pang it would be the greatest hockey broadcast crew ever assembled.

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NHL Finals Preview

May 31, 2011 1 comment

The Stanley Cup Finals are almost here.  The Vancouver Canucks haven’t won the Stanley Cup in their 40 years of being an NHL franchise and the Boston Bruins haven’t won the Cup since Bobby Orr lifted it in 1972.  One of these teams will end a long draught, and the Vancouver Canucks are the heavy favorite.  The series will ultimately come down a few key matchups and situations. 

Chara vs The Sedins

Both the Sedins and Chara have had their fair share of playoff woes.  This year has been different for Chara though.  Since recovering from an illness against the Montreal Canadiens, Chara has been in Norris Trophy form.  He has been the anchor of the Boston Bruins defense and did an admirable job against the Tampa Bay Lightning’s top scorers St. Louis, Lecavalier, and Stamkos.  The Sedins have largely struggled in the playoffs again this season.  Dave Bolland’s return mid way through round one caused a scoring draught that lasted through the second round series against Nashville.  Once the Sedins were clear of players like Bolland, Keith, Seabrook, Shea Weber, and Ryan Suter, they enjoyed more success.  Chara is on top of his game right now and an absolute beast of a man.  He will punish the Sedin Sisters and shut them down for the majority of the series. Advantage: Boston

Tim Thomas vs Roberto Luongo

One is an all-american underdog success story.  The other is a mentally weak, french Canadian grease ball.  Luongo has a history of epic collapses in the post-season and was even benched for Game 6 in the Chicago series after getting lit up in games 4 and 5.  Luongo will most likely have at least one game where he is shaky and that could be the difference in a tightly contested series.  Tim Thomas had arguably the greatest season ever by a goalie and should a unanimous selection for the Vezina Trophy.  He must out play Luongo for the Bruins to win the series.  Advantage: Boston

Special Teams:

This could be the deciding factor for the series.  The Vancouver Canucks power-play and penalty kill have had great success throughout the regular season and playoffs. The Bruins special teams have been awful.  Their penalty kill rate should probably have been better, but Tim Thomas has let in the occasional ill-timed soft goal.  The Bruins’ powerplay is converting at a horrendous 8% in the playoffs.  They are so desperate that have moved Chara in front of the net.  While I am not an advocate of taking Chara’s bomb of a slapshot off out of the equation, Luongo has had difficulty in the past dealing with over-sized bodies at the top of his crease. Advantage: Vancouver

X-Factors

Ryan Kesler is the key to the series for the Canucks.  I can easily envision Kesler exploding offensively against Boston, much the same way he did against Nashville. He won’t have as difficult of a task in this series.  Boston has great depth, but they don’t possess an elite offensive player like Toews or Joe Thornton that will occupy Kesler’s attention.  Given more freedom, Kesler could be a force at both ends and win the Conn Smythe Trophy

Tyler Seguin.  Seguin needs to make plays in this series for Boston to win.  The Canucks like to play a more open style which could create opportunities for Boston’s most talented player.  Seguin is the only Bruin capable of creating an opportunity out of thin air, and if Claude Julien allows him to get more than 5 minutes a game, Seguin could make enough special plays to give Boston an edge.

Final Analysis:

My heart says Bruins, my head says Canucks, and my balls say Bruins.  Usually when my balls and heart agree it’s a recipe for disaster…but I don’t care.  Bruins in 7. Suck it Canada.

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