(Florida)–A 34-year-old woman accused of attacking her boyfriend after he declined to have sex with her was arrested on a misdemeanor charge, according to a recently released affidavit. The boyfriend of Stacey Ann Ortiz told Port St. Lucie police April 18 they’d been drinking at a friend’s home and came back to go to bed. The boyfriend said he wanted to watch TV, while Ortiz wanted to have sex. He said Ortiz started to attack him after he told her several times he wasn’t interested. He said he ran down stairs and out the garage to get away and that Ortiz tried to chase him down. “It appeared the victim had just left his bed since he was only wearing his underwear,” the affidavit states. Ortiz told police her boyfriend got in a verbal argument, but the dispute turned physical. She said her boyfriend “head butted” her and she pushed him off her. She declined to say what the argument was about. On the floor, police noticed a broken metal mop handle, which Ortiz said she broke while busting the window on her boyfriend’s truck. “It should be noted that the windshield of the truck was broken,” the affidavit states. “I then asked why she was chasing him down the street and she stated she was mad.” Ortiz, of the 2000 block of Southeast Avon Park Drive in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a battery charge.
Jesus Christ, when will girls learn? No means no. Chicks always just expecting us to turn it on and off like a faucet. Hey Stacey, maybe your boyfriend just wasn’t feeling sexy that night. Or maybe he was tired or had a headache. Ever think about that? Men are people too. We aren’t just sex machines put on this earth to fulfill your desires ladies. How about next time instead of throwing a hissy fit and assaulting your boyfriend you try a little romance. A little effort goes a long way you know. We just want you to make us feel special. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
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This one is for the ladies. Yahoo did a piece about what a Pet says about a guy. I’ll simplify it for you.
(Yahoo!)–What type of pet a man owns says a lot about who he is and how he lives his life. When you meet someone who has a pet, it’s just not the same as meeting someone who is pet-free. There’s a good chance his pet will affect your dating life – especially if it’s a dog or cat, since those tend to become the center of a person’s life.
Oh, you’ve found a sensitive fella! And he’s not only sensitive, but just loves to send you photos of his cat all day long and post them on Facebook and Twitter. I’m not sure why this is, but guys with cats are prone to such things. Also, although Mitten the Kitten can stand spending a night alone thanks to her litter box, the fact remains that she gets very lonely when her owner isn’t there. This means you’ll be spending most, if not all nights, at his place. Mitten the Kitten needs him! Why can’t you understand that?
If a guy owns a cat…he’s gay. If he says he likes your cat he is either gay or a liar or both. Cats suck.
If your guy has a tank full of fish, he just may be low on the emotions, and is probably even “cold as a fish” in bed. Pets are meant to be cuddled, not watched! Sure, maybe he has some sort of allergy to furry pets, but there’s just something weird and “Dr. Evil” to me about a guy who only owns fish as pets.
This broad doesn’t know what she is talking about. I don’t own fish, I have never owned a fish…but I like the idea of fish. Not like a goldfish, but like cool exotic fish. Fish aren’t really a pet. They are more like decoration. Like moving art that you have to feed every once in a while. If the guy you’re seeing has cool fish he is probably some kind of wicked cool, rich, hilarious blogger…at least that’s what will happen when I own fish.
Again, not exactly a pet you can cuddle with, but at least you can pet it and teach it to say things. A fella with a pet parrot is probably the type who’s really impressed with himself. How can you tell? Well he’s taught his parrot to say the same pretentious and cheesy lines he’ll try on you during a first date. Great. The world definitely needs more parrot douchebags who repeat “Hey good-lookin’!” every 10 minutes.
I think Parrot or any bird is a close cousin to the cat in this department. If a guy owns a parrot he is gay 99 times out of 100. That other time he probably so desperate and needy that he got himself a parrot to talk to at night. You should pass on guys that have parrots.
The reason your man would have a pet rabbit is because he never had one when he was a kid, and now that he’s living on his own, he’s going to finally fulfill that dream. The rabbit’s name is probably something like “Rambo“or “Killer” to make up for the fact that he’s a dude who actually owns a fluffy bunny
When I was growing up the kid next door owned rabbits and he was literally psycho. Just the weirdest kid ever. Would hide in the bushes and yell like indian war cries or some shit as me and my buddies were playing basketball and sometimes shot arrows into my family’s yard. Like real arrows. Do you really want to date somebody like that?
Seriously? A grown man with a snake? Does he drive a Camaro and rock a Metallica shirt circa 1986? Oh, you say he wants you to watch him feed a mouse to his snake on your second date? One word: Run. Run. Run
Snakes scare the absolute shit out of me. They have my entire life. I am man enough to admit that I have a fear of snakes. Any guy who owns a snake is just trying to prove how tough he is.
If he owns a dog, your man is loyal and can actually commit, because owning a dog is as close to having a child as it comes. While other pets can be left for an evening or two, dog ownership doesn’t allow for such behavior. But the major problem here is just how obsessed he is with his dog, because if he lets that puppy sleep in his bed every night, then you better get used to his dog witnessing your sexy times. Some people do not like an audience when they’re about to reach climax.
This chick makes some valid points about guys that own dogs. Guys that own dogs are obviously the best, but guys that are obsessed with their dogs are weird. Might as well be cat people. What you want is a guy who has dogs that he outwardly hates, but sneaky loves them. The kind of guy who complains about the dogs all the time, but then when one of them ran away he had a minor heart attack until some nice woman returned him. You want the guy who would never dream of letting the dog sleep in the bed, or even the same room…but loves using them as foot rest while watching TV at night. Hmm..where could you girls find someone like that…
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Dear Amy: I am an almost 30-year-old man, and I recently resigned from my job. On my last day at work, an 18-year-old co-worker cornered me and kissed me. She told me that she is very attracted to me and said if I wanted her, she’d be mine. We worked very closely together for the past four months and had gotten quite close as friends. The attraction is mutual. I find her to be a charming and beautiful girl. My concern is the age difference. I worry about how people will respond if we decide to enter into a relationship. My friends are divided — some say that I need to follow my heart, and others say that I shouldn’t even be thinking about dating an 18-year old. Am I wrong for thinking about entering into a relationship with this girl?
— Uncertain Suitor
Dear Uncertain: The red flags I see flying over this scenario are not only about the age difference between you two — but about her behavior. If the genders were reversed in this situation, and it was an 18-year-old man who “cornered and kissed” a 30-year-old woman, I’d suggest that somebody might want to get the police involved. Her behavior is so aggressive that you only need to imagine what she might do if you dated and then dropped her. (Picture her perched in a tree and yelling into a megaphone outside your apartment.) Take all of this into consideration, and if you still want to dip your toe into this pool of crazy, I say you two are (presumably) adults. Ask to see her driver’s license to verify her birth date, double check the laws of consent in your state, make sure her father’s not the angry type, shake the bushes for high school football player boyfriends, be prepared to have at least one conversation about Miley Cyrus, and go for it.
I mean did Amy hit this one out of the park or what?!?! When I read the letter from this gayball “Uncertain Suitor” I would have bet my life that Amy would tell this guy he is a creep, he should see a therapist, and should date someone his own age. None of that happened here. She looked at the situation and gave A+ advice. Basically make sure it isn’t rape and go for it. Even Amy realizes that hot 18 year-old girls who corner you for a kiss in the office don’t grow on trees. Its a once in a lifetime opportunity. This guy has a winning lottery ticket and Amy knows he HAS to cash it in. Well done Amy. The only question this leaves me with is whether or not Amy is even a chick. I mean she can’t be right? I don’t know any women who would green light sex with a teenager. It just flies in the face of eye rolls from women since the dawn of time. There is just no way Amy is a chick. That’s the most rational advice I have ever heard. Couldn’t have done better myself.
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(Omaha)–Bingo! Kaleb Michaud found his passion for European board games after playing The Settlers of Catan with a college friend who worked for a games magazine. Balderdash! Although that game and others like it were plentiful abroad, he had trouble finding them here. But was it a Trivial Pursuit? Definitely not. The games are challenging, easy to learn and fun. They offer a chance for friends, including families with children, to get together socially without doing the bar scene. And these games generally don’t take forever to finish. By dogged determination, Michaud (pronounced “mish you”) scoured the Internet and game stores. Over time, he has amassed 1,500 board games — make that 1,504, since last weekend — to fill the shelves of a large entry closet and a small room in the basement of his Dundee home. Michaud, 37, is single with a cat named Qbert, who demands a certain amount of attention. But Michaud, who is somewhat allergic to cats, keeps her out of the carpeted game storage room.
Umm…really bro? Board games, that’s your thing? Kaleb Michaud, I’ve got news for you….nobody ever got laid by living alone with a cat named Qbert with a closet full of 1500 board games. Wake up buddy. This isn’t the 20th century anymore. If you ever want to play doctor with a girl, you need to stop playing Operation. The game you need to be playing is Words With Friends.
(Wall St Journal)–Last summer, Kyla Smith spelled S-E-X-Y in Words With Friends, an online Scrabble-like app on her phone. It won her more than just 13 points—it won her love. Stephen Monahan met Britney Hilbun by clicking ‘random opponent’ last year. Eventually her opponent, Charles Briggs, became her boyfriend. Up to that point, the two hadn’t met in person. She lived in Texas, he lived in Arkansas. They met through the “random opponent” feature of Words With Friends, which matches up anonymous players. The game is played by nearly 20 million people a month on Facebook, and countless more on smartphones. Players take turns moving letter tiles on a virtual board, trying to rack up points by spelling out words. For Ms. Smith, her flirty word was a joke. But Mr. Briggs says it showed him that they shared more than an affection for spelling. While playing Words With Friends with her, he says, “There was that little spark.” He thought: “This girl is pretty awesome.” In Scrabble-speak, you might call it a double word score: Since launching in 2009, Zynga Inc.’s Words With Friends has transformed at least a few lovers of words into lovebirds.
Now that’s how it’s done. Random play indeed. Chucky Briggs just dropping s-e-x-y points and bringing home a blue-eyed blonde. Out kicking his coverage big time. Now I don’t want to be mean to Chuck, but his breasts are bigger than his fiance’s. Normally for a guy like Chuck to out-kick his coverage like that he’d have to be a) hilarious b) rich or c) the chick is Russian. Not the case here. Chuck is just your average, over-weight American male who snagged a babe because his Words With Friends game was tight. Just maximizing that chat feature and showing off his lexicon. That is how you play games.
PS: Invalid tile placement on that on that proposal
PPS: How many random games do you think I have played since I read this story?
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