In case you haven’t been paying attention, I have been absolutely murdering Vegas during the tournament. Picking winners like 95% of the time. If you have been paying attention, then you know that the previous statement is bullshit. Only hitting on like 65% of my picks during March Madness and my bracket has been shit since about midnight on the first Thursday. Law of averages says that I will eventually go back to what I do best…and that’s picking winners. Here are my National Semi-Final picks for Saturday.
Louisville +8.5 vs Kentucky
8.5 is a huge spread in a Final Four game, let alone a game between two of the biggest rivals in the country. This is a line that Vegas is putting out there basically begging people to take Louisville. Louisville is tough. They are the Big East champs and they really get after you defensively for the full 40 minutes. I just don’t think that is enough though. Kentucky is a god damn power house. They have zero weaknesses. So even though Vegas is begging people to take Louisville with this 8.5 spread…I think it is a jedi mind-trick. THE PICK: Kentucky
Ohio State -2.5 vs Kansas
I am so excited for this game. The Robinson vs Sullinger interior match-up is going to be great and which ever big man has the better game will more than likely be playing in the National Championship on Monday. Typically when I don’t have a rooting interest in a game, I manufacture one to make it more interesting. 9 times out of 10 I will ride the BigTen team. I was planning on doing that again, but Kansas came up with a real game changer. A trending movement on twitter right now is #KUBoobs. It’s exactly what you hoped it would be. Just hot girls tweeting pics of their cleavage. So…while my head and heart say Ohio State…my balls say Kansas. Two votes for Ohio State, two votes for Kansas. So the only logical thing to do here is…actually…you know what…boobs. THE PICK: Kansas
PS: The reasons for picking OSU were good, but Kansas’s reasons were bigger.
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(TMZ)–Forget the Big Three … LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade are now a 1920s-era JAZZ TRIO — or at least they played one Tuesday night … at Bosh’s blowout 28th birthday party in Miami. It all went down at Miami’s Adrienne Arsht Center — James, Bosh and Wade took the stage and surprised the entire party with an impromptu jam sesh … and we’re told, they weren’t that bad. Other guests included … Timbaland, Heat President Pat Riley, and the entire Heat squad. Grammy winner Chrisette Michele also performed. Ain’t that just the bees knees …
So yesterday I went on a rant about how much I hate Dwight Howard and the entire NBA culture after he refused to join the team huddle during a timeout when his team was getting their doors blown off by the Knicks. Dwight acting like he was above whatever the coach was saying and the reason they were getting destroyed wasn’t his problem. Pissed me off to no end. I thought it was the ultimate douche move. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Lebron James, Chris Bosh, and Dwayne Wade really teaching Dwight Howard a lesson here. They know that being a dickhead is a full-time gig. You can’t just be a douche bag on the floor. They saw Dwight’s selfish sideline antics, and raised him a Chris Bosh 28th birthday bash that he threw for himself complete with photos of them pretending to be a jazz trio, a giant self-portrait, and once again playing dress up like a bunch of jackasses. Being a world class NBA dickhead isn’t a role you play on a team…it’s a life style. Everything you do…in your entire life…has to be about yourself. Dwight, while a complete douche bag, probably needs to tighten up his game a little if he wants to get on the Heat’s level.
PS: A couple of things about these photos
- I think Dwayne Wade and Lebron secretly HATE Chris Bosh.
- Did Shane Battier’s invite get lost in the mail?
- I want to puke
PPS: Hey Chris Bosh, I see what you are trying to do in that self-portrait and I don’t like it. Back off bro, #SexyConstipated is my thing.
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