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Archive for March, 2012

Closing the week with Kentucky fans and Kansas fans…I am going to SHABOOMS

March 30, 2012 Leave a comment

 

 

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My horoscope coming through like a motherfucker

March 30, 2012 Leave a comment

Let me start by saying that I HATE horoscopes.  Complete waste of time.  It’s total non-sense.  Having said that, this Horoscope for me today may have been the advice I have ever received…EVER.  So yeah, slaving my life away for the man and entering my late mid-20s in two weeks on a Friday the 13th had me on the verge of a minor melt down…until I saw this.  Just gonna fake it ’til I make it like it ain’t no thang.  So…yeah I have like a billion twitter followers, the blog has a higher readership than CNN, Katherine Jenkins is in my kitchen flipping pancakes as I type this, I own that Bear I blogged earlier today, and the Blackhawks are the best team in the NHL.  Oh…and here’s a pic from the cover of People Magazine’s sexiest man alive issue in 2013

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Categories: Internet Sensation

Rose says Durant is the front runner for MVP, kicks mud in Lebron’s eye

March 30, 2012 Leave a comment

“KD is playing great. I’m hearing about what he’s doing, hearing about how he’s playing. The numbers speak for itself, how he’s working out this summer, and he’s playing great basketball.”– Derrick Rose

 

I love it.  Derrick Rose just telling Lebron he sucks right to his face.  All Lebron is doing down in Miami is having like the greatest statistical season ever.  Lebron is just filling stat sheets like you read about. 26.5 points per game, 8.3 rebounds, 6.5 assists, 2 steals, and is shooting an insane .553 percent from the field.  Think Rose cares about any of that…nope…not for one second.  Lebron is a coward and Derrick knows it.  Derrick respects KD because they are the type of human.  Probably the only two guys under 30 I respect in the league. I can’t wait for the playoff series vs the Heat.  Nobody Derrick and I love to hate more than Lebron.

 

PS: I am already dreading the Olympic Games in London this summer.  The thought of having to sit there and cheer for Wade, Bosh, Lebron, Dwight, and Melo makes me sick to my stomach.  I have devoted so much time to hating them, not sure if I can flip the switch just because they threw on the USA Basketball laundry.  I really hope that Lebron and his posse decide to sit out the Olympics because they have commercials to shoot and an Eastern Conference runner’s up party to attend.  Then USA is led by players I love like Rose, KD, Pierce, Garnett, Jesus Shuttlesworth, and Duncan.

 

 

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Everything you need to know for the Bulls vs Pistons game

March 30, 2012 Leave a comment

 

 

They are playing the fucking Pistons.  Bulls by a billion.  Book it.  LET’S DANCE!!! #BullsBandWagon

 

PS: Bulls are only favored by 11.5….is that the biggest insult line of all time? If I were a betting man I’d put my house on that line.

 

 

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Norweigen bro at South Pole totally stoked that he found his bag of chips

March 30, 2012 Leave a comment

 

 

I don’t know why, but I love this bro.  Simple pleasures.  Even at the South Pole.  Those look like some kinda weird funion thing, which isn’t really my style, but to each their own I guess.  My real question though is if this video was taken before or after this bro found his weed.   After kinda makes sense because I mean…look at him…he’s going nuts for funions.  Probably has munchies like you read about.  But then again…would a guy baked out of his mind have the motivation to go back to the South Pole?  I feel like he would just want to chill.  If it is the before weed video, I really hope they taped his reaction to when he found his stash.  Biggest celebration the South Pole has ever seen.

 

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Hey everyone…LEAVE SIDNEY CROSBY’S HEAD ALONE!!!

March 30, 2012 Leave a comment

 

Hey NHL, can we all agree to just chill the eff out and stop hitting Crosby in the head?  God, I want to cover his entire head in bubble wrap. He is the best player of this generation and you dickheads are robbing us of him.  Even if you are a Flyers or Rangers fan, deep down in places you don’t like to talk about at parties…you want Crosby on the ice, you NEED Crosby on the ice.

 

 

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Lindsay Lohan looking blazing hot in her court appearance

March 30, 2012 1 comment

Lindsay Lohan is a semi-free woman, after Judge Stephanie Sautner just declared, “She did it!” — she successfully completed her probation requirements. The judge took Lindsay off probation altogether in what her honor called “the endless” 2007 DUI case. If Lindsay had not completed the terms of her probation, Judge Sautner could have sentenced her to 270 days in the pokey. When the judge terminated probation, Lindsay cracked a big smile and breathed a huge sigh of relief.
As for the necklace heist case, Judge Sautner said Lindsay completed community service at the morgue, therapy and the shoplifter’s course — so her formal probation is now informal probation, and all Lindsay has to do is OBEY ALL LAWS for the next 2 1/2 years. Sautner said, “I know it’s kinda hard when people are following you all over the place … but that’s the life you chose.” Judge Sautner gave Lindsay some good advice, “Stop nightclubbing and focus on your work.”
In the end, Lindsay and her lawyer, Shawn Holley, thanked the Judge. Lindsay said to the judge, “What you’ve done has really opened a lot of doors for me.” 

Lindsay, believe me…I am so happy you are getting your life back together…I am.  But you can stop it now.  I don’t care how much sex you drip or how much your red hair reminds me of the good old days.  It doesn’t matter…I am with Katherine now.  We’ve got a good thing going and I want to continue to explore it.  I can’t risk what I have with Katherine to try and give “us” one more chance.  It’s just been too hard these past few years.  I have moved on.  So save those puppy dog eyes.  We are through.

 

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86 year-old Grandma doing gymnastics

March 30, 2012 2 comments

 

 

This grandma is all over the internet today.  Everyone saying how great she is or whatever.  Umm…are you people watching the same video as me?  The whole performance sucked.  It was only 1:18 long and I almost fell asleep.  Seriously granny…could you pick a more boring song to do a floor routine too?  Was she good for a grandma…probably…was she good for gymnastics…HELL NO.  I feel like I am taking crazy pills lately.  This is just like the Britney Griner dunk.  She is 6’8″! If she can’t dunk she would literally be the worst athlete on the planet.  Her dunks were just dunks.  Nothing to be celebrated.  6’8″ people dunk on the reg.  It’s a non-story.  She and this grandma are getting press and praise because everyone disrespects women and old people.  I am not one of them.  I see us all as equals.  America used to be a meritocracy.  Where if you were good at something it meant you were good.  Not “oh you’re good…for a girl.  Let’s celebrate you“.  Eff that noise.  Am I the only one on Earth standing up for women’s rights?

 

PS: My Nana is 88, has been smoking two packs a day since she was 11 and is still going strong.  You tell me who the star is.

 

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I want this domesticated Grizzly Bear so badly I can taste it

March 30, 2012 1 comment

Jesus, I want this Grizzly Bear more than any animal I have ever posted on here(sorry wolf).  I mean look at this big guy… just a cuddly gentle giant. Totes adorbs. All he wants in the world is be loved on, wrestle, and maybe a pot of honey. Just look at that smile too.   I would throw my dog Riley down an elevator shaft and pay a bajillion dollars to have this Bear move in with me.  I don’t know, maybe even 2 bajillion.  I think it’d be worth it.  My only concern is if Grizzly Bears shed.  My dogs now shed like bastards 365 days a year and I HATE vacuuming.  So if Berky(that’s what I’d name him) can be like cross-bred with a poodle I think I am all in.  Just me, Katherine Jenkins, Berky, and my other dog Macky…one big happy family.

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Whoa, good save Santorum. Almost calls Obama the n-word

March 30, 2012 Leave a comment

Cutting it close there Ricky.  If he finishes that syllable I think Obama might have won the black vote.  To be fair though…Santorum stumbles over words a lot and this might have been just a mistake.

 

 

PS: I really think Santorum should make “I’m crazy and I’m right” his official campaign slogan.  Just embrace it Ricky.

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