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Archive for February, 2012

Ever heard of a Dolphin stampede

February 28, 2012 Leave a comment

 

There is some weird shit going on planet Earth these days.  Some people might think this looks cool, but to me it looks like a plague.  2012 is here indeed.  Fire, brimstone, earthquakes, dolphins stampedes.  We’re all effed.

 

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Bowler Pete Weber is so effing clutch

February 28, 2012 Leave a comment

 

So clutch.  Maybe the celebration of the year. The type of play Lebron can’t even dream about. I kinda wish I had anything in my life worth getting that excited about.  Maybe I’ll become a bowler.  I kinda feel like literally anybody can be a professional bowler.  You just need to practice for like I don’t know…maybe 6 weeks.  It takes the least amount of athletic ability of any sport.  I think I am gonna do it actually.  Can’t let a bully like Pete Weber intimidate a bunch of fat loser bowlers.  Here is my general reaction to this guy…

 

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Pat Knight DESPISES his own team

February 24, 2012 1 comment

(KKJeff100)–The Southland Conference should suspend Lamar head coach Pat Knight for this epic rant. Calling out players for a bad performance on the court in public is legit, but off-court stuff should be off limits. The apple doesn’t fall from the tree!

What an epic rant.  Like father like son.  I don’t think I have seen guy hate his own team this much since the Chief hated the 2011-12 Blackhawks.  I’ll admit I am not the foremost expert on college basketball, but if I am the AD for Illinois I am firing Bruce Weber yesterday and getting Pat Knight on the phone as soon as possible.  The Illini have plenty of talent, but need a kick in the ass.  Who better to do it than a Knight.  And who the hell is this KKJeff100 that posted the video?  Are you kidding me bro?  You have a problem with a coach holding his seniors accountable? Suspend the guy for calling out players who get suspended for drugs and in classroom antics?  What country am I living in?  I am officially a Pat Knight guy.  The guy can coach for me all day.

And…a little Bobby Knight for ya…

 

PS: Lamar University?  Where the hell is that? Sounds made up to me.

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Ugh…Obama is so effing cool I can’t even stand it. Singing with BB King

February 23, 2012 Leave a comment

 

 

Son of a bitch!!! How the hell are the Republicans supposed to compete with that?  The Presidential election, unfortunately, is a popularity contest.  That’s all.  Employment could be 9.5% for years, gas prices could be $5 per gallon, mandates coming out our ass, and an impending crisis with Iran…none of that matters.  Obama is just the coolest kid on the block.  If you really think one of these three guys can beat him give me some of whatever you’re smoking…

 

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Polio guy straight murdering the dance floor

February 23, 2012 Leave a comment

 

 

This guy is making FDR look like a dickhead.  Just absolutely dominating that dance studio.  The guy is dripping in swag.  Some of the nastiest dance moves I have ever seen.  Now…having said that…does this guy have an unfair advantage when it comes to dancing?  I mean he is using props and just swinging his legs around like they aren’t even there.  I kinda feel like anybody from “So you think you can dance” would be able to dance this guy off a cliff if they were allowed to use those crutches.  I don’t know.  The guy is great, but I just don’t want to put him in the hall of fame or anything.

 

PS: Polio still exists?  I literally thought that polio died with FDR.  The video is obviously from some other country, but I thought the disease was extinct world-wide.  I just assumed that polio was in the same category as the plague and small pox.  Oh well…God bless America.

 

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Princess of Denmark gets checked out by President of Finland

February 23, 2012 Leave a comment

 

Chicks like Princess Mary of Denmark are the absolute worst.  Look it honey…if you are gonna wear a dress that basically goes down to your naval, don’t get all pissy when guys get locked into your boobs.  You’re asking for it.  I mean what is the President of Finland supposed to do here?  Not look?  Please.  She isn’t exactly pouring out of that dress either.  She should take it as a compliment and just look the other way.  Definitely shouldn’t make the President of Finland look like a creep for looking at the goods she brought to the table.  Grow up Princess of Denmark.

PS: I love the move here by the President of Finland…”Oh what’s that up on the ceiling?  Totally been looking up there for a while….def not looking at your clevage”.

 

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This is exactly how I would win an MMA event

February 22, 2012 Leave a comment

 

This would be my best and only chance to win an MMA fight.  Just hop around a little bit.  Keep my hands up and hope the other guy knocks himself out.  If that didn’t happen…I’d probably be dead.

 

In all seriousness though…MMA sucks.  Everyone talks about how great it is blah blah blah.  It’s just a bunch of meatheads who weren’t good enough at real sports so they had to learn karate.  Couldn’t be less impressed with these guys as a whole.  And…gross ears.

 

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