Look it, I don’t know why JayCav broke up, why they are trying to make it work, or if they are going to get back together. Quite frankly, I am not a big fan of Kristin Cavallari. I mean how can I respect a girl who’s entire life has been built around being a bitch in high school. Girls like her are a dime a dozen. Having said that, Jay obviously plays better when he has a sexbomb waiting for him at home. And I enjoy Bears games more when we get camera shots of Jay’s hot celeb girlfriend. So I am on a mission to find him a new one.
The Bears are in London this week, so Jay needs to be hitting on the posh spots and firing hard on Pippa Middleton.
Pippa Middleton really stole the show at the Royal Wedding and that after hours party pic almost broke the internet. I think most chicks would rather be with an NFL quarterback(even a shitty one like Jay) over a stupid prince so Pippa would have one up on her sister. It makes too much sense not to happen.
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(Chicago Tribune)–In the heat of a domestic dispute, a Chicago woman pelted her husband with cupcakes before police arrived to arrest her Saturday night, authorities said. The sweet evidence of her crime was visible on her husband’s head and shirt when officers responded to the home in the Brighton Park neighborhood on the Southwest Side, according to a police report. On Sunday morning, Cook County Circuit Judge Adam D. Bourgeois Jr. ordered electronic monitoring for the woman and a $10,000 bond. She is charged with a misdemeanor count of domestic battery. The fight started with a verbal quarrel about 7:45 p.m. at the home in the 4700 block of South Western Avenue, according to a police report, but escalated until the woman started hitting her husband over the head. After that, she reached for the box of desserts and directed a fusillade of snack cakes at his head and body, her husband told police. Several of the confections apparently hit their mark, as the man’s head and shirt were smudged with icing when officers arrived, according to a police report. He told officers he feared for his safety, and she was verbally aggressive with officers, the report states. Police said she admitted hurling the treats at her husband.
If you click on the link and read the entire article you’ll see that this is the first domestic issue this couple has had. Let me go on record and say that if these two love birds can’t work it out, this chick can call me up for a date any time. In fact, if on the first this girl threw cupcakes at me I seriously might propose right then and there. I mean what is this guy’s problem? You feared for your safety bro? Was she gonna give you diabetes or something?
Hey baby, leave that loser. I get you. I’ll appreciate you. Let’s make this happen. See you at Molly’s Cupcakes on Clark. I’ll be the guy dominating the shit out of all takers at Connect Four while crushing vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting and washing it down with a tall glass of milk. Holler at me.
PS: In all seriousness, if you haven’t been to Molly’s Cupcakes you haven’t truly lived yet.
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