(Newser) – Monopoly and going directly to jail have never combined in such a literal fashion: A 60-year-old Santa Fe woman went straight to you-know-where after allegedly stabbing her boyfriend following a game of Monopoly gone wrong. Police say Laura Chavez copped to attacking the 48-year-old man with a kitchen knife; he was “bleeding heavily from his head and right wrist area” when authorities arrived shortly after midnight yesterday. The man says she also cracked a glass bottle over his head.
Chavez apparently thought her boyfriend was cheating at the game, which allegedly precipitated the argument and attack, reports the Santa Fe New Mexican. Shocking side note: The two had reportedly been drinking. Sad side note: Her 10-year-old grandson was playing the game, too, and witnessed the arguing—but luckily went to bed before the stabbing. Chavez has been charged with aggravated battery and resisting and assaulting a police officer, among other things.
This is exactly why I flat-out refuse to play Monopoly any more. Do you know how many times I have wanted to stab my opponent during a game of Monopoly…EVERY TIME. It’s seriously a war of attrition and eventually somebody is going to snap. And that’s just a normal game of Monopoly, not a game where suspect your opponent of cheating. Imagine you are in hour ten of Monopoly and you catch the Thimble asshole grabbing an extra $20 out of the bank…good luck not murdering that guy. I mean at that point its do not pass go, do not collect one more effing cent, go directly to your death-bed. In hour ten I am probably just fighting to stay awake, building hotels on St Charles Place and running a successful railroad empire like a good 1%’er and if I caught someone cheating I’d freak out too, so I am not judging this chick at all. I don’t think there is a jury in the world that would convict her. Sometimes you need a little frontier justice.
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