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Death to The U: Miami Hurricanes Scandal


The Miami Hurricanes have suspended 13 players, including QB Jacory Harris, after Yahoo! released the least shocking college football scandal of all time.  Sorry Miami, suspending your loser QB and 12 other guys cited in the Yahoo! isn’t going to save you.  People are talking about giving Miami Hurricanes the “Death Penalty”.  Miami fans and fans of cheating everywhere are screaming that it’s not Miami’s fault that they have been brazenly cheating since 1983, but it’s really just College Football in general that’s broken.  My official stance on this issue is that if anyone deserves the Death Penalty its Miami.  You can’t have players getting bar tabs, cars, sex parties, abortions, yacht trips, and all kinds of swag paid for and live to tell about it.  I hate the NCAA as much as the next guy.  I’d like to give them the death penalty too, but there’s a difference between paying for a kid’s laundry and paying for head from a stripper. If Miami gets the Death Penalty they have nobody to blame but themselves.

So yeah, outwardly I am a Notre Dame, BigTen, Wing-T, Power-I kinda guy so…fuck Miami…but double secret full disclosure, I sneaky LOVE the Hurricanes and all of their swag.  When Miami is “The U” they move the needle more than anybody.  I don’t want Miami to go away and I don’t want them to become this clean-cut boring ass team that plays by the rules.  I want the 2LiveCrew Miami ESPN’s 30 for 30 documented.  Bad boys who love being bad.  Kicking ass on Saturday afternoon, and getting ass on Saturday night.

Here is the truth though…there is no chance in hell that Miami gets the Death Penalty.  There is just too much money on the line.  The city of Miami is the 13th largest TV market in the country, and Florida has five other cities that rank in the top 65.  The only other school to receive the Death Penalty was SMU back in 1987 and 1988.  25 years later they are still completely irrelevant.  Killing Miami, and effectively closing themselves off from those markets would take money out of the NCAA’s wallet.  There is nothing the NCAA loves more than money.  So Miami’s existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to the NCAA, saves College Football. The NCAA doesn’t want to tell the truth because deep down in places they don’t talk about at parties, they want The U in the BCS, they NEED The U in the BCS.

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  1. michaela
    August 26, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    I think the U deserves the death penalty. The things that they have been doing for years is disgusting. They need to be shown that if you break the rules, you suffer the consequences. This is the same type of stuff their mom’s SHOULD have taught them at age 2. Now the NCAA will just have to teach it to them at 20.

  2. Myron O'Grady
    August 4, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    For over 3 decades this program has been fraught with thugs, degenerates, losers and criminals who lack class, integrity, honor and respect for the game of Football. They foster an environment of self-indulgence, brazen obnoxious behavior that overshadows great athleticism, and have mocked morals, values, and basic sportsmanship in the name of hedonistic and animalistic selfishness. I hope once some of these players grow up and have children of their own, they will realize that their past behavior does NOT represent the best in sports. They wonder why everyone has hated them from Schnellenberger-to Johnson- to Erickson – to present with the absolute absence of true leadership. These were not coaches, they were enabling prison wardens presiding over a bunch of thugs who could not make it in other schools due to behavior and academic standing. Take a good look in the mirror and honestly assess if behavior promotes integrity, sportsmanship, team attitude and a true servants heart. NOT!!! I guess when a scumbag like Luther Campbell who denigrates women, promotes drugs and thumbs his nose at American traditions is viewed as a “mentor,” and is allowed to be imbedded deeply up the ass of the program, you’ve got some serious problems. I love it every time another team kicks their arrogant ass. When Penn State, Notre Dame, Alabama and Ohio State beat their ass in key games, I cheered. As God says, those who exalt themselves shall be humbled. Evil will always lose eventually. It’s a sad shame that the plethora of talent that has passed through that university has not had better leaders to channel it for good instead of vulgarity and vanity. So many great athletes who could have been positive role models and instead will forever be associated with adjectives like: controversial, repugnant, vain, over-the-top, arrogant, criminal, the team that caused the creation of the unsportsmanlike penalty for disgusting taunting, et. al.

    I guess we can hope that they will change, but after three decades, it is hard to be optimistic! Good luck to the Canes in changing their act!

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