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LOCKS OF THE CENTURY: NCAA Win Totals

July 27, 2011 Leave a comment

NCAA Football win totals are probably my favorite bets of the year…probably because they are the easiest.  Hilton Sports Book in Vegas released their lines this past weekend and they are basically putting an ATM on my front lawn with these.  Easy money.  I also feel a lot smarter when I nail preseason picks.  Six picks to chalk up here.  Too bad you can’t parlay win totals.

 

Boise State – Win Total Line: 10.5 over(-135) Under(+115)

Normally I would stay away from a win total line higher than 10 for any team, but I love this line.  Kellen Moore is back for a senior season and should be a Heisman Finalist.  The Broncos have only three tough games on the schedule; @Georgia(Georgia Dome), Nevada, and TCU.  Nevada and TCU both have to replace long time starters at quarterback and both of those games will be played on the blue turf.  Playing Georgia in Atlanta will be a tough test, but Boise State historically plays very well against the big boys when given ample time to prepare.  No way the Broncos lose 2 games on their slate provided Moore stays healthy. TAKING OVER(-135)

Virginia Tech– Win Total Line: 10 over(-160) under(+140)

Full disclosure, I was ready to take the under when I saw this line. 10 wins at -160 is not a very attractive line, but then I decided I would actually look at the Hokies’ schedule.  What a cake walk.  They don’t play Florida State and they get Miami, Clemson, Boston College, and UNC at home.  They should be favored in all of those games.  Even though I am not really buying to the hype surrounding VaTech’s new QB, its hard to find two losses on that schedule.  Its either a win or a push at 10 wins.  TAKING OVER(-160)

West Virginia– Win Total Line: 9.5 over(+150) under(-170)

If you had read this blog in the past couple of weeks it’s no secret that I LOVE West Virginia this year.  Geno Smith and Dana Holgorsen are a match made in offense heaven.  They are going to light up the BigEast this season.  The test will come in their non-conference schedule.  West Virginia takes on SEC power LSU and ACC up-and-comer Maryland.  WVU probably splits those games and maybe drops a conference game somewhere along the line.  I just don’t see this team losing three games.  WVU is BCS bound.  TAKING OVER(+150)

USC– Win Total Line: 7.5 over(-130) under(+110)

Look, I hate USC as much as the next guy, but there is absolutely NO chance that they lose 5 games this year.  They are in year two of the Lane Kiffin era, have the best quarterback in the conference(maybe the country) not named Andrew Luck, and they don’t have nearly as many distractions this season.  I only see three losses on the schedule at this point.  @Notre Dame, @Oregon, and home against Stanford.  There other “tough” conference tests come at home.  I am simply not buying Utah and Arizona as real contenders in the Pac12.  USC is still probably the most talented team in the conference and will rebound this year with a 9-3 record. TAKING OVER(-130)

Notre Dame– Win Total Line: 8.5 over(-130) under(+140)

There simply aren’t 4 losses on ND’s schedule this year.  The Irish are returning almost all starters on both sides of the ball and will be much more comfortable in year 2 of Brian Kelly’s system.  Michigan State historically gives the Irish fits, but the Spartans are coming to South Bend this year and ND will be looking to avenge last season’s heartbreaking OT loss.  Notre Dame could very well be unbeaten heading into the season finale @Stanford.  So if the Irish are 11-0…that means they aren’t losing 4 games.  TAKING OVER(-160)

Miami(FLA)– Win Total Line: 8 over(-120) under(even)

Kudos to the Hurricanes for scheduling probably the toughest non-conference slate in the country…however that means that they will be fighting for bowl eligibility in their first season under coach Al Golden.  Miami opens at Maryland on Sept 5th, before heading home to face Ohio State and Kansas State in consecutive weeks.  The ‘Canes also play VaTech, Florida State, UNC, and USF on the road.  A quarterback controversy, a new system and the schedule from hell will have Miami well under 8 wins.  TAKING UNDER(even)

 

 

 

Exit Devin Aromashoudu and Enter Dane Sazenbacher: Bears Wide Receivers

July 27, 2011 Leave a comment

I am really glad that I never learned how to spell Devin Aromoshidu’s name.  That would have been a complete waste of time.  Just when I thought I was in the clear spelling wise, the Bears signed undrafted free agent Wide Receiver out of Ohio State, Dane Sazenbacher.  I really like Dane Sazenbacher.  He was so good at Ohio State that he even managed to make a dumbass like Terrell Pryor look good.  I think he makes the team and gives the Bears a nice special teams player and possession type receiver.

PS: What is the over/under on Wes Welker comparisons for Sazenbacher during training camp?  3000? 10000?  I am really tired of every white receiver being called the next Wes Welker.

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Nickelodeon is messing with my bed time

July 26, 2011 1 comment

(Business Insider)–Living the entirety of a decade in a span of thirty-one seconds doesn’t seem possible to people who spent their childhood outdoors not eating fluffernutters, but for us generation X and Y latchkey kids who came home after school to watch Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, watching the teaser conjured a rush of indescribable nostalgia that washed over our collective being. Yells of “Ahhhhhh, here it goes!” could be heard all over the country.  It is now time to bask in the glory of 1990s Nickelodeon programming. Starting at midnight tonight, Nick will begin nightly airings of a two-hour block of their 90s programming called “The ’90s Are All That.” The shows that this block will include Clarissa Explains It All, Doug, Kenan & Kel, Pete & Pete, All That, and pretty much every other culturally relevant Nickelodeon program put out during the decade that raised so many of the people now entering the workforce.

I just finished my second large Dunkin Donuts ice coffee of the day because I am going on like zero sleep.  How am I supposed to blog my ass off all day when I am now forced to stay up to 2am watching Doug, Clarissa Explains It All, All That, and Are You Afraid of The Dark?, and then wake up the next morning at 6am so I can watch Saved By The Bell?  Realistically I am now looking at a maximum of 4 hours of sleep per night.  And I don’t really even have a choice.  I don’t remember if Doug and Patty Mayonnaise ever got it on and the suspense is killing me.  People are freaking out about what the Debt crisis will do to the economy, but that’s small potatoes compared to an entire generation walking around like zombies because of sleep deprivation.
PS: There is no chance in hell that Doug Funnie wheels Patty Mayonnaise.  Patty is a dime.  The guy is still in school and balding already. He is down to eight hairs.  Huge nose, little pot belly, noodle arms, and what the F were you thinking with that green sweater vest, bro?  The pudgy, balding, ugly guy never locks down the smoking hot blonde.
PPS: Are You Afraid of The Dark? is still the scariest show I have ever seen on TV.
PPPS:  I NEED a Nickelodeon gameshow channel too. Family Double-Dare, Legends of the Hidden Temple, and GUTS were the shit.  I would have dominated the AstroCrag like Mike O’Malley had never seen.

NFL Lockout Victim: HBO’s Hardknocks

July 26, 2011 Leave a comment

 

Training camps are going to basically start on time, so can someone explain to me why HBO isn’t going to do Hardknocks this year?  Hardknocks is easily the best thing about the preseason. Cromartie trying to name his kids was one of the best moments in the history of TV.  My vote is Minnesota for Hardknocks.  Crazy ass Jared Allen, rookie quarterback, big fat Williams twins, and I think Mike Singletary is going to be one of their coaches if I am not mistaken.  He needs to be mic’d up forever.

 

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Who needs Plaxico Burress, Randy Moss or Santonio Holmes when Brd. Smith is Available?

July 26, 2011 1 comment

Day one of NFL free agency and Jerry Angelo is already disappointing me.  Rumors are swirling that the Bears will add to their receiving core like everyone has been begging for.  The Bears have a TON of cap space.  Some of the most in the league.  They  could easily target a game breaking wide receiver like Plaxico Burress, Randy Moss, Santana Moss, or Santonio Holmes.  So who are they going after…Brad Smith.  Are the Bears really in need of a former option quarterback who played a lot of wildcat for the Jets? Brad Smith had 4 catches last year.  What would be the point of signing him?!?! UGH ANGELO MAKES ME SO MAD.  It only took a day for me to want him fired again.

 

PS: Of all the guys listed above Santonio Holmes seems like he would be a perfect fit for the Martz offense.

 

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I AM READY FOR FOOTBALL!!!

July 26, 2011 Leave a comment

 

Other than having Adam Schefter in my grill for the next 72 hours, I am pumped for the NFL.  This video is alright.

 

 

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Toews Just Blew Smoke In Cutler’s Eye

July 25, 2011 2 comments

While Jay Cutler was probably moping around about losing out on Kristin Cavallari(As opposed to just his regular moping), Jonathan Toews shows up to Wrigley with a smoke on his arm.  Shot across Jay Cutler’s bow for sure.

Toews’ girlfriend is Gabrielle Valasquez I guess.  Never heard of her, but she is really hot.  I would never be able to talk to that girl.  Having said that…I don’t think she is hot enough for Toews.  Jonathan Toews is a stud.  Captain+Chicago+Stanley Cup+Conn Smythe+Gold Medal+Olympics MVP+Movie Star Good Looks=That he should be wheeling Doutzen Krous or some A-list chick.

PS: Toews owns Chicago.  Best athlete in the city and shows up in the summer to Wrigley wearing Bears hat. That sentence got me hard.  Hockey season can’t get here fast enough. Gas up the party trolleys.

 

PPS: UPDATE, just found out that Doutzen Kroes had a baby so looks like Toews probably already met her…or at least made eye contact with her. Pretty sure that’s all it takes for him.

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