Archive for May, 2011

Ohio State’s attempt to join the SEC ends with Tressel’s Resignation

May 30, 2011 8 comments

The Ohio State University gave it their best shot, but at the end of the day they just weren’t corrupt enough to become the 13th member of the Southeastern Conference.  I mean what else could they have done?  Players were getting cars for free, selling memorabilia to tatoo artists and drug dealers, the coaches then tried to cover it up.  Improper benefits…check.  Running in circles with criminals…check.  Coaching staff lying to cover it up…check. What more could the SEC ask for?

Also, this is the kid who wrote the final story that did in Tressel.  Obviously he is a virgin and he is going to stay that way now.  He has got to be the most hated guy on campus.

NHL Finals: “If I can change, and you can change, EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!!!”

May 29, 2011 2 comments

Boston +200 vs Vancouver -240

Full disclosure, I have been rooting against the Boston Bruins all season, and all playoffs long.  Most of my hockey friends are die-hard Boston Bruin fans and I just don’t want to give them the satisfaction of winning the Stanley Cup.  Its going to be a miserable year if they talk half as much shit as I did after the Chicago Blackhawks won the Cup.  I also never really respected the Bruins.  I see them as a team devoid of high-end skill and superstar players. Chara is their best player, other than goalie Tim Thomas, and its hard to root for the NHL equivalent of Ivan Drago. Chara always seems to wilt in big moments, and I think that Tim Thomas covers a lot of their defensive deficiencies.  However, after watching these playoffs, I have grown to respect the Boston Bruins. They are so deep, especially at the center position.  Bergeron, Krejci, Kelly, and Campbell is as good of a group of centers as there is in the league. Then they also have Peverly and young phenom Tyler Seguin who are natural centers, but play the wing for Boston.  They are real blue-collar team who just tries to get in and out work the opposition with their fore-check.

Now that they have disposed of yet another team that I thought was more talented than the Bruins, I am left in a position of pulling for a “likeable” team against the team I hate most in the league.  Chicago needs Boston to save us from a Vancouver Stanley Cup.  So, here I am Boston, ready to apologize for hating and ready to jump on the bandwagon.  “If I can change, and you can change…EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!!!” Go Bruins!

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PS: If Boston loses to Vancouver I will hate them forever for allowing that to happen.

PPS: The Blackhawks are really better than both of these teams. One more game out of Bolland and the Hawks probably beat Vancouver in 6 games and continue on to win the Stanley Cup.

Lock of the Century: NHL Edition

May 27, 2011 1 comment

Tampa Bay +140 @ Boston -160

Over/Under 5.5 Goals

Ho-hum another lock of the century pick that I am going nail.  I am honestly starting to get board with this whole bankrupting Costa Rica thing.  But when they spit lines out like this I am left with no choice but to rob them blind.  Tampa Bay is the underdog simply because they are the road team.  Which is some dumb.  Tampa Bay has proven that they can win in Boston and this series would be over already if Tim Thomas didn’t steal Game 5.  Tampa Bay has dominated the past two games and I expect their elite forwards Stamkos, Lecavalier, and St. Louis to continue capitalize on powerplay chances.  Special teams have given Tampa Bay a sizeable advantage all series and there is no reason to believe anything will change tonight.

The other half of this equation is over/under line set at 5.5.  Are you kidding me?  Is Costa Rica waving the white flag on this one?  These two teams have been solid defensively this year on the surface, but they each have been bitten by a their major flaw in this series.  Tampa Bay hasn’t gotten the quality of goaltending they enjoyed in the second half of the season.  While Boston has continued to give up a ton of shots.  Tim Thomas has largely masked this defensive issue with his spectacular play, but when facing quality snipers, like the ones employed by the Lightning, giving up a ton of shots isn’t a formula for success.  Give me the OVER and start looking up flights to Costa Rica.

Real Recognize Real: Blago’s man crush

May 27, 2011 1 comment

ChicagoA day after he admitted to a “man crush” on Alexander Hamilton and apologized for his foul language, former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich is back on the stand in his corruption retrial.

So Blago has a “man crush” on Alexander Hamilton…what’s the big story here.  Hamilton was obviously the biggest MFIC(mother-f*cker in charge) of all the founding fathers.  Just dueling political rivals all over the place.  Total bad ass.  Blago sees himself as a modern day Hamilton.  Just a couple of studs who don’t mind kicking a few skulls in to make stuff happen.  Guy just wanted to get his corruption on. Free Blago  Real recognize real.

Categories: Internet Sensation Tags: ,

My Gift, My Curse

May 27, 2011 1 comment

Its nights like last night when I feel like my gift for picking winners is an almost unbearable burden.  I couldn’t enjoy that game at all knowing that the Bulls were going to blow it.  The Bulls were up by 12 with 3 minutes to go and I started to doubt myself.  Maybe David Stern had double reverse Jedi-mind tricked me and the Chicago Bulls were going to push it to six games…but as soon as Wade made that circus 3point shot I knew why I should never doubt myself.  I don’t feel good about it, but someone has to do it.  Last night was a kamikaze mission in my war against Costa Rica, but that’s what you have to do when you’re bankrupting an economy.  You’re welcome Eric Holder.

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“Lebron is better than MJ”–Scottie Pippen

May 27, 2011 9 comments

Scottie “Benedict Arnold” Pippen goes on Mike&Mike less than 12 hours after Chicago had its heart stomped on by Miami and this traitor is trying to tell us that Lebron James is better than Michael Jordan.  MJ has six championships….ITS THE ONLY ARGUMENT I NEED SCOTTIE. Hey Scottie, I think you should stop talking for a while…maybe sit the next couple plays out…we all know you know how to do that.

Lebron is great, but he still sucks.  Couldn’t win in Cleveland.  He can’t handle the pressure of being the man.  He isn’t a leader, he is just one of the guys.  I think Scottie is trying to just elevate himself by trying to tear down the greatness of the greatest that ever lived.  Keep your booming jealous voice on mute next Second fiddle.

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Categories: Bulls, Internet Sensation

Lock of the Century: NHL Edition

May 26, 2011 1 comment

Tampa Bay +130 @ Boston -150


Thank you JC Penney.  I was already to go back on my original claim of picking the Tampa Bay Lightning(especially because I picked them in 6), but thanks to the wicked jinx JC Penney put on the Boston Bruins I get to stick with my original prediction. 

Nice full-page ad in the Lowell Sun.  Guess they didn’t watch Game 6.  Or maybe they are going for the double jinx because they clearly bought this ad space before today.  Double jinx=me doubling down.  Tampa Bay is winning this game.  No questions asked.  The only question left is whether or not Tampa Bay can save humanity from the ginger twins lifting the Stanley Cup.  I pray yes.


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